Fears of coming out.

[claudewheelersf]

that's a great post. thanks

 

[sunoftheskye]

Many of the responses in this thread are annoying because they're not really trying to help you.

Saying things like "GET SOME NEW FRIENDS!" or "MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE", are things that are much easier said than done.

Homophobia is something all gay people experience and it doesn't matter if you live in Oklahoma or New York City. The best you can hope for is that when you come out, you might make these people sit back and think for a second about the feelings they have toward their fellow human beings.

But first and foremost, your safety is important. It's up to you to judge what might be a serious threat and what is someone just talking out of their ass. But if someone's making statements about physically hurting gay people, I'd suggest not telling that person you're bi/gay at all.

I am a "straight" gay guy. I act straight, I have a deep voice, I drive a truck, etc. I have heard all of the gay bashing and anti-gay words. My family is extremely homophobic. All gays are going to hell. Man should not lay down with another man. You know the story. I'm surprised my parents haven't found out or if they even suspect that I might be gay. Unfortunately I had to move back in with my parents a little while ago but I have found a new place and I am in process of moving out. My mom has made comments regarding the amount of underwear I have. (I have an underwear fetish) I'm just surprised that n oone has figured it out that I have never had a girlfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend yet either. We'll have to see what the future holds as to whether I decide to be the black sheep of my family...

Sorry, but you're not a straight gay guy. You're not even straight acting. You're a masculine gay guy, and even that term bothers me because what's defined as masculine is subjective.

Had to throw that out there because this is one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to the gay community. There's a hierarchy of those who can pass and those who can't. Reminds of back in the day when light skinned black people would try to pass for white.

 

[sunoftheskye]

Newsflash... most gay guys are just... guys. You're not a "straight" gay guy.. you're a gay guy. Unless you have sex with women, you don't "act straight." The only thing that straight guys do that gay guys don't is have sex with women. You act like a gay guy because you're a gay guy.. and that's how you "act."

Sorry, but that term really drives me nuts. It reeks of putting yourself up on a pedestal above those gay guys who are more feminine or "gay acting" than you. (and here's something else that'll really fry your head... many of those guys you assume are gay because they act like that are actually straight... crazy, eh?)




You ever think that their anti-gay bile might be them trying to verbally beat the gay out of you?

The fact of the matter is that those feminine gay guys who don't try to hide anything are 10X more of a man than those "straight gay guys" who seem to take pride in the fact that they cower in the closet and just stand there while those close to them spew anti-gay bile in all directions.

Standing up for yourself is much sexier than hiding who you are.

Thank you.