Feeling of guilt after masturbation

[hanzosword]

You know I used to have this same guilt all the way up to my early twenties. I'm 26 now and I eventually got over it. I used to be kind of religious and into the Bible also and that was what made me feel guilty for lusting after men in the first place.

The Bible itself at the very end mentions people changing the words and leaving things out of it and I now believe that many things in that book are the truth and some are lies. The whole homosexuality is an abomination thing is definitely a lie made up by men who just didn't like it. I believe it was added to the scriptures by religious men who wanted to scare people out of living that way, not because God told them so.

I know for a fact God made us all the way we are, gay, straight or bi so how could he be mad at any of us for it. It's people who have a problem with being gay, not God. We can't change our sexuality any more than a person can change their taste for their favorite food. I know I could never stop loving brownies or being attracted to men if I tried lol.

So, wanderering, you just have to know in your heart that the way you feel is natural to you and all types of sexuality are gifts from God. I had to look outside of the Bible to find this out on my own and I'm now guilt free. You will have to do the same to be at peace with your sexuality.

 

[Swellegant]

I never felt guilty about masturbating, even when I was a Christian, though many believe that it's a sin (the Sin of Onan, etc.) And when I discovered that the Bible says some not very nice things about homosexuality, I left the church.

I guess I just always believed that I know better about what's good for me than a book written a few thousand years ago and translated and retranslated a dozen times from an original text that has been lost so long ago nobody can be sure that it's accurate.

And even if you still believe that the Bible is God's immutable word, for God's sake don't try to be straight. The Bible doesn't want you to be straight... aside from the propogation of the species, the Bible is pretty clear that it doesn't like sex of any kind. If you're homosexual (and you are homosexual, if you're telling us the truth about who and what turns you on) you are not on the procreation path. See, the Bible doesn't say that people aren't born homosexual, it says not to indulge in homosexual sex. It lays the same thing on straight people, nobody is allowed to have sex except within marriage--and strictly to propogate the species, not for fun.

It's up to you how you're going to square your conscience with sex, but know that you are as God created you; and know that the people who are telling you it's within your control and will are lying, simply because they don't feel the same way you do and can't understand it.

 

[bluedragon4]

Eventually you are gonna have to come to terms with it and probably walk away from your family or truly hide it. You can never change who you are. Religion destroys more families I swear, ugh.

 

[jackoroe]

Treating somebody poorly is cause to feel guilty. Kind of like what your dad is doing to you. Rubbing one out over a hot guy is definitely not something to feel guilty over.

You're not bi. You're gay and that's the way God made you. He doesn't make mistakes. So accept it.

 

[G-Lexington]

Or, you know, delete your account. Your choice.

Lex

 

[Swellegant]

I'm sorry to hijack, but...

The bottom line (sorry) is my desire not to hurt anyone... whoever they are. And to tell my parents who I really am would probably kill them, let alone hurt them... it's just not worth it, in my opinion.

Seriously, nobody has ever died from surprising news. And coming out to your parents is never much of a surprise. They usually already know but don't want it to be true so they pretend. Nobody ever died of not pretending.

Do straight people go around telling everyone they're straight? Of course they don't, so why do gay people feel they need to shout it from the rooftops... it just goes back to this selfish trait I see/hear/read time and time again.

I hear it all the time. Like at weddings, funerals, christenings, on TV. So maybe they don't have to say the words "I'm straight," but they certainly display the outward trappings of their sex-lives quite loudly and publically.

Selfishness is denying the people in your life the honor of knowing something, anything, about you because you want to control how they think of you. I mean, yeah, my Grandmother doesn't need to know the details of my masturbatory fantasies, but she does need to know about pretty basic stuff... my favorite color, my job title, my sexual orientation, my shoe size.

It's not a bad thing, it's not kicking puppies or stealing from the poor box; you don't have to keep it a secret.

And to the OP: someone threatening to do you harm for any reason is a felony. You are not only able to call the cops on this man, you can actually harm him back in self defense. If my father ever took a swing at me when I was sixteen or eighteen, he'd have a size-eleven Vans deck shoe print on his forehead right now.

 

[MindBlast]

(snip)

I find a lot of gay people are very selfish. They are so wrapped up with their sexuality that they forget how others might feel when they eventually 'come out'.

(snip)

I have to LOL @ this.

You do not MAKE people feel anything. Their feelings are their own, and the have to own them.

My sexuality is a small part of me, but I won't let people go around assuming I'm straight, because that actually hurts me. No reason to play the martyr; nobody will remember a man for his martyrdom about his sexuality. A man is not bravely saving someone else's life by staying in the closet!

So no, I'm not selfish for being out. I only mention that I'm gay when someone assumes I'm straight. I sort of agree there's no real reason to go screaming that I'm gay from the rooftops, but I will not take heterocentric assumptions about me lightly. Guys who ask me if such and such a girl is hot will get the response, "I can't make a judgement call on that, because I'm gay." Or if a relative asks if I've met any girls yet, I'll tell them that I'm meeting guys.



Anyway, sorry about the slight derail there. On topic, there's no reason to feel guilty about masturbation, because it's not hurting anyone else. The only time you should ever feel bad about masturbating is if that's all you do (ie: neglecting obligations and socialization in favour of masturbating), and if it's interfering with your life to the point that it's a problem.

 

[Sam Blum]

If your god created you, that is where your needs, feelings, and your desires come from. Your father has a somewhat limited/ignorant understanding of humanity and the divine. I think you can only live your life, not his. As for your faith, it will be strengthened if that is right, and weakened if that is right. Just be the best fully integrated and actualised person that you can be and the rest will be right. Lose the guilt - it's a pointless and artificially created emotional response that can lead you nowhere except down. That is something you have to consciously pull yourself out of, dear boy. Guilt comes from failing the expectations of men, not your god. If your god is real and loving and your creator, he already knows all your good stuff and stuff you're uncertain about, and will love you with and becasue of your individuality - including the queer stuff. This is both emotionally sensible and logical.

Your ability to share your most intimate desires and express yourself sexually with specially chosen people is the most central and personal thing you can do to give meaning to your existence. It is incredibly important to be able to safely touch and be touched, to kiss and to hold, and to do this with freedom and a sense of validity. You are putting this important issue onto a pedestal because that is where it belongs.

Don't be harsh on yourself, and remember that out here in the real world you will meet lots of people who will love you (and who want to express it physically and verbally) because of your concerns, considerations, foibles and idiosyncracies. We all have or know parents who behave poorly towards their own children - most people are a bit silly - so don't feel alone or unusual. Fortunately we all have the opportunity to improve on the earlier model as we make our own decisions. Sometimes the upgraded model can still interact with the superceded one and help it to perform better.

You sound like a good bloke. I wish you all the very best and suspect you will follow your heart to the right arms who will love you (and shag you stupid) for who you are and who will celebrate your union. Hugs!

 

[bluedragon4]

jas2009 I just have to shake my head. Selfish? huh? I find it selfish for you to come on here and write that long winded rant and take up all that space. lol

 

[hungrybrownbear]

Wanderering's gone?

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Wanderering's gone?

Yep! It's all Lex's fault.

Or, you know, delete your account. Your choice.

Lex

 

[Swellegant]

Actually, I think the OP's account was deactivated shortly after he posted... at least, it was when I responded. I think he may have been underage. Nevertheless, others with the same question might benefit from the discussion... and I've never let someone leaving the room stop me from talking to him.

 

[hungrybrownbear]

Herm, funny.

I always found him to be a bit interesting (we shared slightly similar tastes in men).....

 

[GamerBear]

Yep! It's all Lex's fault.

Ouch.........

 

[GamerBear]

Herm, funny.

I always found him to be a bit interesting (we shared slightly similar tastes in men).....

Yeah that's what struck me was that he had a huge obsession with older men and yet he has issues being who he is.

 

[GM1985]

I don't see whats to feel guilty about, it is a perfectly natural process and the only one that can be seen as totally safe (depending on your mentality).

Plenty of species masturbate to enjoy the feeling of orgasm, nature (and in some peoples eyes god) created sex, if it was wrong they wouldn't have made it feel so good!

 

[rareboy]

Guilt after masturbation?

How quaint.

 

[hungrybrownbear]

Yeah that's what struck me was that he had a huge obsession with older men and yet he has issues being who he is.

Exactly, whereas I don't have an obsession, more of a preference. And some of the men he was gawking at were just like wtffffffffffff NO...........

 

[G-Lexington]

As much as I'd LOVE to be known for "running a JUBber out of town"...yes, his account was deleted when I made my post. Which is why I made that post.

Lex

 

[GamerBear]

Exactly, whereas I don't have an obsession, more of a preference. And some of the men he was gawking at were just like wtffffffffffff NO...........

Was it not of your preference?