Feelings for my married best friend

[CGHJ]

So I have this friend. I met him about a year ago at another friend's house when we were all swimming. He and his wife were there. Couldn't help noticing how hot he was. Not so much like a buff god or anything, he's just...beautiful. He was introduced as having a really huge cock too, so I immediately nicknamed him 'Horsecock', but for this thread we'll call him Jack. People would joke about how big it was, like you couldn't stand near him in the pool because it would wrap around your leg like a snake. I could care less about that, although as a pornographer I did immediately want to use him in a video if possible. This was shot down by his new wife of 2 months (at the time), who was very jealous. She doesn't want anyone sharing in the joy, even if it's just in a solo video and there's no one else in it.

So we became close friends, and I noticed immediately that they fought constantly. Either one of them would flip out at the slightest thing. She's pretty stupid...utterly intellectually uninterested in anything. She should pretty much just watch Oprah all day, if Oprah isn't above her level. Springer is prolly more her speed. But I loved hanging around him so I put up with her.

Jack and I got closer and closer, and one day he admitted he was bi.

Sometime after that I had a party, and she was off someplace else, I believe they were having a trial separation, and he stayed after everyone went home. We ended up cuddling on a futon and I believe we even kissed...like a little peck. We were both really drunk so I don't wholly remember but I know we got close.

Then I went on a roadtrip (it was a goodbye party), and 3 weeks later when I got back it turned out he had been sent to afghanistan. I thought I'd never see him again.

However when he got back a few months ago, his wife got in touch. I didn't see them much. Just twice in maybe like 2 months. Second time, it turned out that she was pregnant. She didn't want the kid, but he did. They only came over long enough to pick up a mattress and they brought a friend with them so Jack and I couldn't talk much, but I sensed that something was there. I could tell he'd been thinking about what happened right before he left.

Then, like a month later, I invite them to a party. Jack texts back "I need 2 c u".

When they show up they've come from another party where Jack has got sloshed. He's super touchy-feely. He corrals me into the empty kitchen and starts to hug me tight and says "I've missed you." We start kissing each other on the cheek rather intensely and before you know it we're making out. Just for a second, it's like we're both surprised, but it also feels natural and inevitable. I look at him with a very serious expression and say, "Yeah, it's like that."

He keeps his hands on me the rest of the night, saying stuff like "I love this guy!" and felling up my nipples and holding on to my ass. So much so that one of the other marines at the party actually feels compelled to say "You guys are making me feel a little uncomfortable." And it's not even insulting...he's super open-minded watching one of his fellow marines pretty much feel up a dude in front of him, but the level of PDA would be high for any couple. I would have prolly said something like "Jeez, get a room!" We made out again a little later.

Now here's where I have to mention, I am not a home-wrecking creep who can't keep his hands off married men. This is a marriage that is 100% guaranteed not to work out. The baby she's carrying is 5 months along, he's been back from Iraq for 4 months. While he was over there she cheated on him twice that he knows of. I happen to know for a fact that she's in love with someone else. She flat out told me that she was thinking of getting a divorce and giving up the baby for adoption because she doesn't want it. I'm not breaking up a happy marriage...I feel more like I'm giving a buddy the confidence to leave an unhappy marriage before he ends up paying paternity for a kid that is not even his. All of our mutural friends are working to get them apart for his own good.

Anyway, a few days after that I'm over at their house and I'm trying to be good and not disrespect this girl in her own house, no matter what my opinion of her is. However at one point while she and I are in the living room, he calls me into the bedroom to 'show me the new bed set they just bought." He's laying there shirtless in pajama bottoms and I can feel the attraction. I feel up his balls and give him a quick kiss and scoot out of there before I do aomething that's gonna get us both in trouble.

So we end up at a few parties together after that, and go bowling a couple times. We're close, not kissing again but definitely close. He's always feeling up my butt and playing with my junk whenever he can get away with it. At one party she's being a real bitch and he and I end up alone on the front porch. I sat behind him and put my arms around him and pulled him in close, kissing him lightly on the back of the neck and then giving him an intense backrub. She makes him leave (because she wanted to fuck) but he didn't want to go. Our last handshake, it was almost like he didn't want to let go.

OK now we're getting to the good stuff:

About two weeks later he shows up at the bar I'm always at, with his wife. She's 20 but she can go to this bar because it has a rec center attached, we can get beer in the adult part and then hang with her in the rec center. After the bar closes we're going to head to a friend's to play in his pool. Back at their place Jack lends me a pair of his swim trunks, and while she's changing in the bathroom he steals a little kiss from me. Instantly I'm hard, and I grab his hand and make him feel my dick. I'm like, "This is what you do to me." He says "Oh really, just wait till tomorrow."

Then on the way to our friend's house she's driving, he's in the passenger seat and I'm in the back seat. He actually reaches back and starts feeling up my concrete-hard cock. And we're all having a conversation like everything's totally normal, but only he and I know he's giving me a handjob in the back seat through my swim trunks. Surely that was one of the most intense experiences of my life.

Until the next day, when he comes over to borrow my computer. I purposefully get in the shower and leave the door open. And of course when I'm out and drying off he suddenly shows up at the open door. I forget what he said, but in a neverous voice I tell him, "You know when you were playing with my dick in the back seat last night? Well the wood you gave me only went a way like an hour ago. If it had been from taking Viagra I would have had to go to the doctor because my erection would have lasted for more than four hours."

He says, "Do I really turn you on that much?!"

I'm like, "Pretty much."

He says, "What if I touch it now?" And grabs my dick, which responds verrrry quickly. "Come on in your office," he says, and gets down on his knees and starts giving me head.

Now one thing you have to know about me is that I a serious exhibitionist, so being totally naked while a fully clothed marine goes down on me would be just unbelievabley hawt no mater what, the fact that he's so beautiful and also someone I have intense feelings for puts it over the top. I'm just reeling in shock. Something like winning the lottery.

And he sucks at giving head. He is so bad at it, no matter how enthusiastic he might be, that I start losing my boner. So I lie and say, "I can't get off with just a BJ no matter how long you do that, here let me do you instead."

I pull down his pants, and see his dick for the first time. It's long, beautiful, and uncut. I've never played with an uncut dick before and it's awesomely new and different. The fact that it's like 8 inches soft doesn't hurt, either. I go to work, he's hard pretty quick too, and pretty soon he's moaning heavily. I was worried that it would grown to unmanagable proportions but he's def a shower not a grower...it stayed pretty much the same size and just got hard.

He says I could give a few tips to his wife, which is kind of a weird thing to say but I just take it as a compliment...I'm better than she is so that's a good thing I guess. Not really surprising...not only do I have more practice but also I care way more about him than she does. I don't even care about my own pleasure...my sole focus is on giving him an awesome BJ. Unfortunately we didn't have that long before she was gonna come pick him up again so I had to go for speed rather than quality, but I was able to get him right off. I let him cum in my mouth, the first guy that's ever done that. Loved every bit of it.

At one point he laments that we don't have condoms or lube. I'm not sure whether he wants to fuck me or me to fuck him...either way, I also wish we had condoms and lube. Although it's just as well there's no way we would have had time.

Two days later I said something stoopid that set her off (unrelated, I was trying to get him to come out to a bar and I had girls with me and she got jealous of the girls...if she only knew). She may not love him and she may be carrying someone else's baby, but she is still an insecure, jealous person and she keeps him under lock and key. So I didn't get to see him for about 2 weeks.

Finally we worked it out--I'm really nice to her which may seem false but I have to be to get to see him--and I went over to their place last Friday. We drank some, and at one point Jack and I are in the kichen and I come up and ram him from behind. He responds by grinding his ass into my crotch like we're doing it doggy style.

Later he's in the kitchen again and I invent an excuse to go in there. There's a certain type of alcohol that I like I find out he's been holding out on me, so I pretend to be upset and tell him that he has to make it up to me. I grab him and start making out with him. We hold each other tight and exchange some saliva. When we're done I say "One more time" and grab about 10 more seconds. Unfortunatey I have to be honest, he can't kiss worth shit either. Dammit!

Then we watch a movie and all pass out. She goes into their bedroom, he's passed out on a chair, and since I'm the last to go I take a minute to just stare at him sleeping. He's so beautiful in every way, and watching him sleep there I realize...I'm totally in love with this fucker.

OK now is where it gets confusing:

The next day we wake up late in the afternoon. I have to go home because I have a SemperFuck update to post. He drives me back to my place, and is real quiet. I'd love to bring him inside for a quick BJ, but he's being all stand-offish. I try to make some conversation but it's not taking. When I get out of the car we shake hands, that's it. Sometimes guys regret what they do, he may be feeling guilty, and I don't want to push it and lose it forever.

There's a party we're both at later that night, and he won't look me in the eye. Every other party we're at I have to worry about him being too forward, grabbing my ass and playing with my balls in front of everyone...this time he says maybe 2 sentences to me. Says he's tired, which I understand and am surely sympathetic to...but he won't even look me in the eye something is up and she notices as well.

After the party I spend the night at their house. He's cold when he leaves for duty (he has duty really early which sucks), and just says "Deuces." I can tell he's pissed. He slams the door.

I text him, when he gets off duty he shold come by my place. "Why, what's up?" I tell him no reason, but a brother helping a bother relieve some stress which he knows I'm good at (who knews who'll see the text I'm trying hard to be clear but keep it safe). No reply.

Yesterday (Monday) a buddy of mine who is also a good friend of theirs gets back from Iraq. We're all going to hang out. Jack's too tired.

Tonight his wife texts me, wants to know if we're getting together. I say yes and suggest my place because I have more space, a fire pit, a beer pong table etc. I hear from her that Jack's reaction is "Nope, not going over there, fuck that." Not even to see his buddy that's been gone for 7 months? She's actually so concerened at this point that she asks me to call her. She's can tell there's some issue between us and she's concerned that he's hiding something. She can tell there's some big change in him.

I told her that it was more important that he see his friend that just got back, if he doesn't want to come over that's fine I'll go over there, and in fact if he doesn't want to see me at all they should still hang out with their buddy and I'll stay home. I'm not selfish, I know they miss each other and I'm a big boy...I can wait till shit blows over, I know for a fact we're too close for any problems to be permanent. Part of me really wants to confront the situation head on, but sometimes its better to just wait things out...If I don't fuck things up worse eventually he start to miss me and I can deal with it then. On the other hand, I don't want him to think I'm igniring him cuz I don't care.

Later though, she manages to convince him to come over. I'm pretty sure she mentioned that I was concerned and I think that moved him some. He's very friendly, gives me a big hug that reassures me that everything will be fine, and passes out on my couch.

I'm talking with her about the situation...which I agree seems weird but kep in mind the whole time I know that she's in love with someone else (who I think I've met because she was all over this guys at the club last Fri (got in with a fake ID) and is carrying someone else's child. They are gonna split up sooner rather than later, whether I'm part of this picture or not.

She says that he's changed, is tired all the time and doesn't want to go out and have fun like he used to. Sounds like depression to me. I ask how long this has been going on. "About 2 months." That's right about the time Jack and I started getting close.

So, that's the whole backstory. Here's what I'm dealing with right now:

I'm head over heels in love with this guy, but we shouldn't be together. He's only 21, I am 40. Next year he gets out of the marines and goes to college, and I can't follow. He's married, altough I'm sure that will be over as soon as he gets a paternity test on the kid there's always a slim chance it might actually turn out to be his. Can't kiss, can't suck dick. Hoping he's not a useless lay assuming I ever get to find out. Pretty sure I will.

But I'm so in love with this man the fact that he can't kiss or suck dick worth shit just seems like an opportunity for me to teach him how to do it right. I love him, I really do. Enough to do stupid things for love and make poor choices just to be with him one more time. Enough to ignore any advice telling me to run for the hills because it can't ever happen. I'm so in love I'm seneseless.

I would like to know what my boundaries are. I'm happy to have anything with this guy...last year when I met this amazing and hot young marine with a huge dick I never thought I'd get to touch him, much less suck his dick or make out with him. I've got more than I ever expected to get, and I'm happy. I don't want to lose the bird I have in hand by going for the two in the bush, right?

On the other hand, he's always been the one pushing it. He was the one grabbing my dick. He was the one that took me into my office and started going down on me, and had been planning it for days. Said he wished we could have full on sex. He certainly didn't pull away when I started making out with him in his kitchen, even though his wife was in the next room. He was the one giving me a handjob in the back seat while his wife was driving. He was the one grabbing me so intensely at parties that it made other marines uncomfortable.

Part of me thinks I went too far in making out with him Fri night. I meet a lot of marines that like to play, but there's no emotional attachment and making out is more boyfriend than fuckbuddy or friend with benefits...the other part thinks I didn't go far enough Sat. Maybe he was insulted that I didn't try anything when he drove me home. Maybe he thinks I rejected him, when in fact I was trying to give him space so he wouldn't feel threatened.

And part of me thinks it doesn't matter and I should just run right now, even if it hurts for a little but, because there's no way it can work and it'll just hurt worse down the road. But then maybe I should grab a litle bit of happiness while I can, because it is truly better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Like I said I'm not sure I need advice, 'cuz I think I have things pretty well in hand. However I'm coming to a fork in the road there and soon I'm going to find out which way we're going. I'll post updates as I try to work this hit out, and I figured I'd get the backstory out of the way. When I started writing this they hadn't come over yet and I wasn't sure if I was forgiven...I thought he was mad at me (and he may have been and got over it like I knew he would) and was pretty bummed about that and needed to pour my heart out. After writing down the whole thing like this I do feel a little more like he must have some serious feelings for me...does that seem obvious to you guys too? Or is it wishful thinking?

Now I'm pretty sure we'll be all good. I feel like I can be very honest with him. He was very up front about being bi, and we've obviously been super close. I will surely see him again this weekend, we always like to go out, and I'm going to take him aside and tell him that he needs to help me set my boundaries. If I'm going too far I want to know so I can pull back, if I'm not going far enough I need to know so I can step up. I'm lucky that I think this will actually be a pretty easy conversation to have with him. However, I will tell you right now my heart wants him to say, "Oh, you totally need to step up. I was hurt when you didn't invite me in last Sat, I would have fucked you senseless/wanted to have my ass plowed like a farm in Kansas." I would like to take the time to teach this wonderful man how to make out and suck cock the right way.

in my wildest, craziest [day]dreams, I hope that he loves me and wants to have a relationship. Even though I know that would probably be bad...I'm too besotted to care.

What do you think?

 

[rareboy]

I would like to know what my boundaries are

'Prolly' (sic) too late for that. That ship sailed about ten paragraphs in.

There is something existentially sad and tragic here that I can't just put my finger on.

Is it the trashy slut of a wife who apparently is also as dumb as a post?

Is it Horsecock Jack who can't suck and blow at the same time, but has no problem fucking around while he's married?

Is it the 40 year old bisexual exhibitionist pornographer chasing a confused 21 year old and who has rationalized that messing around with Horsecock Jack is okay because the marriage is going to shit anyway?

Or is it the soon to be born baby who has to take its place among a group of adults who apparently have no idea of boundaries?

I think we'll all have to wait for the next chapter to be written.

 

[TX-Beau]

There is something existentially sad and tragic here that I can't just put my finger on

....Is it the 40 year old bisexual exhibitionist pornographer chasing a confused 21 year old and who has rationalized that messing around with Horsecock Jack is okay because the marriage is going to shit anyway?

that would be it.

TO the OP, for all your insistence on not being a home wrecking slut it sure seems like you play one on the TV.

Whatever the state of their relationship, it's no business of yours, and he needs to end his commitments before you swoop in. Don't get me wrong, swoop away once he's free, but that whole comment of being nice to the wife to get to the husband casts you in a really dubious light, it makes me think if you'll play games like that, you'll probably not scruple to try and play games designed to cause problems in their relationship.

How do you know that what's going on with him isn't just him trying to get affection from you he can't get from her. It's possible once he's rid of her dead weight that he'll have no further need of you. There's no way to tell what his motives are in this situation.

As to your motives, control your damn self. You're not a kid. If their marriage is as doomed as you say it is. Surely it will end, and then you can teach him how to suck cock.

That said, perhaps for one or both of you part of the attraction is the cheating.

 

[954dude]

This is kinda hot, to be honest. But do the right thing!! The truth will set you free...don't be a homewrecker.

 

[CGHJ]

Or is it the soon to be born baby who has to take its place among a group of adults who apparently have no idea of boundaries?

I'll be honest I think that is the saddest part. I feel terrible for the kid. He made her keep it...I'm pretty sure one of the main reasons she didn't want it was she knew that eventually a paternity test would be inevitable...just one big wailing squalling bag of testable DNA that she didn't want, but couldn't get rid of because she couldn't tell him 'I know you want to keep this kid but as soon as you find out it's not yours then I'm gonna be stuck with a kid and minus a husband/gravy train'.

Even if she has it she wants to join the air force and leave it in day care as soon as it's SIX MONTHS OLD. The very best thing for it would be to get adopted into a loving fambly, if that's possible. She smokes (pot and cigarettes) drinks and other stuff...psychologically she's trying to commit a slow abortion because she doesn't want it, however that's not going to work and it'll probably be developmentally impaired on top of everything else, a baby that needs more care but will get less.

I'm sure you don't believe I have boundaries, but realy I do...you have no idea the number of married guys I have refused to play with because I won't go there. I consider these two to be already effectively separated, if not yet legally.

that would be it.

TO the OP, for all your insistence on not being a home wrecking slut it sure seems like you play one on the TV.

Whatever the state of their relationship, it's no business of yours, and he needs to end his commitments before you swoop in. Don't get me wrong, swoop away once he's free, but that whole comment of being nice to the wife to get to the husband casts you in a really dubious light, it makes me think if you'll play games like that, you'll probably not scruple to try and play games designed to cause problems in their relationship.

This home is already wrecked.

It is business of mine...all of our mutual friends have made it our business because we want her gone. She's poison and she's fucking him over. Irrespective of what he and I have, there is a full court press going on right now to split them up before he becomes financially liable for a child he shares no DNA with.

I just hope it ends soon. We have a friend in the brig right now that Jack regards as a father figure, served in Iraq together, will listen to anything he says. He was best man at their wedding and his biggest regret is not preventing said wedding. Our mutual friends are planing to get Jack down there to visit him so he can lay down the law for Jack. I honestly feel that without me in his life he might be to scared to make such a big change, but if he knows I'll be there to catch him maybe that will make him feel safer.

I'm nice to the wife because it makes his life easier. If I were mean to her she'd make his life (even more of) a living hell...she wouldn't let us hang out and he'd have no one to talk to at all.

How do you know that what's going on with him isn't just him trying to get affection from you he can't get from her. It's possible once he's rid of her dead weight that he'll have no further need of you. There's no way to tell what his motives are in this situation.

Possible...that's really my main thing right now. How real is it? I am not so emotionally invested yet that I can't bail...if this turns out to be the case I'll be sad but my life won't be over or anything. It would make things easier in the long run actually. I don't do relationships generally, never wanted one, but I would acept one from this guy. If it turned out he didn't want one, I would move on (although I'd probably drink heavily for about 2 weeks). This is, however, exactly what I'm trying to assess. There's no guarantee whatsoever that when his marriage ends (when, not if) he'll really want to be with me.

If he meets someone else and still wants to fool around, he'll get none from me.

That said, perhaps for one or both of you part of the attraction is the cheating.

Cheating is def not an attraction for me, never done it before. Generally I find it like the worst thing ever and I have no respect for people that do. However she's pretty much dating someone behind his back and there's NO HOPE for this marriage.

Cheating is def an attraction for her...last time we out at the club she was all over this guy and he on her. And not just sexual...you would swear that they were the couple, not her and Jack. I've never seen her look at Jack that way. She does not love him, she loves this other guy. Not sure if he's the baby daddy (next, on Springer!) or not, but believe me I'm way more respectful of this marriage than that guy is.

This is kinda hot, to be honest. But do the right thing!! The truth will set you free...don't be a homewrecker.

Like I said, I honestly feel more like I'm pulling a buddy out of an already wrecked home before he gets injured. I have patience...I don't call, I don't talk about her to him or him to her, I do not insert myself in their lives and believe me I could. If I wanted to fuck things up all I'd have to do is tell him about the guy she was fucking around with at the club last Friday...but I kept my mouth well and good shut.

I totally understand where you guys are coming from, but I am secure in the knowledge that if our mutual friends found out, they would support me. In fact, they'd be like, "Yeah awesome get him out of there do whatever you have to do." All our mutual friends are very open minded and would very much support me being with Jack too...the fact that we're both dudes would be a non-issue for them.

I will also say this: If Jack found someone else (either male or female) besides myself that he loved and really loved him, that was more his age and more likely to be able to share his life with him...I would step right the fuck out of the way and never touch him again. I would be sad, sure, but I'd also be happy that I ever got to be with him at all. The kind of love I have for him, I just want him to be happy...whatever makes him happy makes me happy.

We'll see what that turns out to be.

 

[Eagle653]

For what it's worth, I don't think you're a home wrecker. That whole "family" is dysfunctional to the core and it is already wrecked. There is nothing you can do to save it or destroy it. To me, that's not really relevant because it's hardly a situation where they were happy-campers until you came along and seduced her husband and "made him gay." Only they can end, or repair, their relationship--you are really nothing more than a bystander in that drama.

He is confused, though, and this is where you're going to need to call upon your twice-his-age maturity and experience to get you both through it. You also need to really reflect on whether you truly love him (read=want what's best for him), or are infatuated with him for his good looks, young marine masculinity, and/or the ego stroke that attracting such a man would create.

His confusion can take several paths, and you need to be prepared for whether or not you want to go down those roads with him. For example, he could reject and deny all that has happened with you and stay with his wife (or some other woman); he could become sullen and depressed--leading to any number of outcomes; he could reject his bi/gay self and become hyper-masculine and re-enlist in the Marines; he could pair up with you and then decide he needs "experience" and shop the "candy store;" he could eventually spin you off as a "good friend" or "mentor" or even father-figure, but seek someone closer to his age. Or, in best case scenario, he could fall in love with you, put his life and priorities in order, and decide he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

The problem is, at this stage, he's a bit of a loose cannon and you don't know where he's going. Perhaps you want to take the risk and see him through his coming out and see where that takes you, but if so, do so with both eyes open and knowing the emotional risk you're taking.

Another alternative would be to step back and put yourself in his position and ask yourself what you would have wanted in his situation and at his age. You? If so, then be there. If you'd rather have a non-sexual friend, or gay-mentor, then be that--albeit a loving one.

These things are really tricky because they're mixed up with emotions, attractions, personalities, needs, and it's hard to keep it all straight and act in the interest of the other person, instead of yourself.

Lastly, find a way to sit him down and get him to open up, if you can. I suspect his brain is full of ideas, feelings/emotions, and other thoughts. Where does he see himself going? How do you fit in? What does he want from you? I think these are some basic questions that you deserve answers to.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>This is kinda hot, to be honest

This cuts through the bullshit. It's hot.

Lex

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Make sure the child doesn't pay the price.

 

[CGHJ]

For what it's worth, I don't think you're a home wrecker. That whole "family" is dysfunctional to the core and it is already wrecked. There is nothing you can do to save it or destroy it. To me, that's not really relevant because it's hardly a situation where they were happy-campers until you came along and seduced her husband and "made him gay." Only they can end, or repair, their relationship--you are really nothing more than a bystander in that drama.

Thanks, that's worth something to me anyway. I am feeling a bit guilty now...I believe very strongly in the Golden Rule, don't do anything you wouldn't want done to you. How much does the fact that she's cheating on him and an inevitable divorce balance that out? If I were her I'd hate me for it, and now I feel duplicitous. But she'd be hypocritical for feeling so since the baby's (probably, get that damn test Jack!) not his and she's cheating on him right now. Frankly she should want me to fucking him on the side, that way she could go visit her man. However you're right as far as me being a bystander to the final disposition of their marriage. If it's over nothing I did ended it, and if they put it back together somehow I'l stand back and stay out of it. The paternity test is the key...if it's not his it's over for sure, and if it is then who knows that might bring them together again and I would not stand in their way (and I'd stop fooling around with him and just be friends). The chances of it being his though...

He is confused, though, and this is where you're going to need to call upon your twice-his-age maturity and experience to get you both through it. You also need to really reflect on whether you truly love him (read=want what's best for him), or are infatuated with him for his good looks, young marine masculinity, and/or the ego stroke that attracting such a man would create.

Well put. I've thought lots about this. I believe I do truly love him. I care most about what's best for him, more than myself. Here's where I run into trouble.

I love making him happy. I know that I make him happy. I know that when we do stuff, it makes him happy (or did until last Fri, which is what makes me think it's the fact we didn't do anything on Sat that was bugging him. Wife rejects his love all the time...maybe I fell into that pattern, time will tell). However, is making him happy (and by result, me happy) now what's best for him? What if what's best for him long term will make us sad shot term.

I do want what's best for him, above all other considerations. If that meant walking away, I would. But goddamn it would be hard, because I do care so much.

His good looks...come from his personality. He's hot, but it's partly because he's such an awesome person. If I showed you a pic you'd agree he was very good looking, but if I showed you the other guys that I've played with recently they're much hotter, much more masculine (Jack can be a little gay sometimes actually, sometimes a lot). My ego gets stroked constantly...I can pull way better ass than that. None of them radiate life like he does. He has a very, very warm heart and he deserves someone that will love him all day long.

If it's me, I'd be pretty damn happy about it. If it's someone else thats meant to take that place...I'd be happy for him. Everyone agrees the present situation is painful to watch.

His confusion can take several paths, and you need to be prepared for whether or not you want to go down those roads with him. For example, he could reject and deny all that has happened with you and stay with his wife (or some other woman); he could become sullen and depressed--leading to any number of outcomes; he could reject his bi/gay self and become hyper-masculine and re-enlist in the Marines; he could pair up with you and then decide he needs "experience" and shop the "candy store;" he could eventually spin you off as a "good friend" or "mentor" or even father-figure, but seek someone closer to his age. Or, in best case scenario, he could fall in love with you, put his life and priorities in order, and decide he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

My god you're good, not even kidding.

He could surely end up staying with his wife...although it looks so broke as to be impossible hell the Clintons stayed together. Especially if the kid turns out to be his. I'm almost sure it's not though so when that paternity test comes back...would rate it far more likely though that he'd find some other woman. Don't know how bi he is...he acts pretty gay sometimes, it's definitely more than a passing fad for him, he likes him some cock and does love me on some level. Bro level or gay level though? Gay enough to have a relationship with a guy or just friends with benefits? Has he been praying for this moment or feared it?

Sullen and depressed leading to who knows what...very possible.

Re-enlist in the marines and take some trophy wife who will re-assure him of his masculine side? Very possible, as are the "candy store" and "mentor" scenarios. It's possible with the mentor scenario that he's a guy that likes Daddies and will always go for someone my age, I know for a fact he has father issues, but admittedly more likely that he'd eventually find someone younger or more female.

I have to also frankly admit that "fall in love with you, put his life and priorities in order, and decide he wants to spend the rest of his life with you" is the one I'd like most but is also probably the least likely scenario. I'm already prepared for that...I'd love to be the one to make him happy but if not, then I want him to find that with someone else, and I'll even be best man at his wedding. But what if it is possible...

The problem is, at this stage, he's a bit of a loose cannon and you don't know where he's going. Perhaps you want to take the risk and see him through his coming out and see where that takes you, but if so, do so with both eyes open and knowing the emotional risk you're taking.

Another alternative would be to step back and put yourself in his position and ask yourself what you would have wanted in his situation and at his age. You? If so, then be there. If you'd rather have a non-sexual friend, or gay-mentor, then be that--albeit a loving one.

These things are really tricky because they're mixed up with emotions, attractions, personalities, needs, and it's hard to keep it all straight and act in the interest of the other person, instead of yourself.

Agreed, and great advice. I'm going to keep posting what happens here, and I would really appreciate it if you'd stop in time to time and let me know your thoughts. Seriously, do you do this professionally? You should.

Lastly, find a way to sit him down and get him to open up, if you can. I suspect his brain is full of ideas, feelings/emotions, and other thoughts. Where does he see himself going? How do you fit in? What does he want from you? I think these are some basic questions that you deserve answers to.

I agree, and I'm pretty sure we're close enough and he open enough to have that conversation soon. We'll probably end up hanging out this weekend, but I'm not sure I want to rush it, for the simple reason that if I take any time talking to him while she's get paranoid that we're up to something. If I'm lucky she'll fall asleep early and we can go outside and have a conversation.

Worst case scenario, she leaves for home to have a baby shower Aug 18th. I don't know how long she'll be gone for but Jack and I will finally have some totally alone time. If he wants to spend every waking minute with me and cuddle with me at night I'll have my answer. If nothing else we'll be able to have a nice long conversation about what it is he does want. When we find out what that is we'll go from there.

 

[CGHJ]

>>>This is kinda hot, to be honest

This cuts through the bullshit. It's hot.

Lex

LOL thanks Lex

Make sure the child doesn't pay the price.

I hate to think of what that girl (we already know the sex) has to look forward to. If it's not his, she'll instantly lose a daddy because I doubt the real daddy will be anywhere to be found.

If it's his, they'll prolly stay together for a while but then the kid has to watch mommy and daddy fight all the time and live in a horribly dysfunctional home. She's already mentioned giving it up for adoption which might be the best thing. frankly at this point I hope it just comes out normal.

If it was his and she split and did not want custody...I never wanted to raise a kid before but I'd help him raise this one, and that might be the best thing because she'd have a loving home with 2 daddies that loved each other and her. That way she could turn out really cool instead of a complete basket case.

I'm layin' some pretty solid odds on it not being his though. She's resisting the paternity test pretty hard, and he doesn't have the resolve to fight for it. She may be intellectually uncurious, but she knows where the checks come from.

Plus I think psychologically he's prefer not to know. If we can just get him to go visit his friend in the brig he can convince him he has to get her to do it.

 

[Telstra]

i would like to see the movie.
abit long to read.

 

[krfflyer]

I only made it half-way through the original post because it was just too sad and too depressing, and by the way, not the least bit erotic. But hey, have another drink, I'm sure all the drama has a certain appeal when your half-cocked.

 

[texan_slant]

Holy smokes! This is hot.

You kind of have to ride the waves with him; only time will tell. There is no way that he can have a clear head with all these different things and feelings going on all at once.

You have to be there as a friend first during this time, and he has to process each thing as they come, go, and get resolved.

You also have to set your expectations low; he's *still* married, and at this point, anything can happen. Be there if he needs a friend, and give him the space if he seems to need it.

Also tread lightly, if at all, on these dangerous waters. Even though you are confident in your friendship/relationship with him, it's still only a house of cards.

 

[954dude]

>>>This is kinda hot, to be honest

This cuts through the bullshit. It's hot.

Lex

I'm stating my opinion. But I don't agree that it should continue. It doesn't matter whether the friend is gay, straight, bi, or in a happy or unhappy marriage. The OP shouldn't play savior and try to rescue him from a situation. The wife and husband need to deal with that.

But as I always say, let nature take it's course. Whatever happens, happens. They have to live with the (hopefully smart) choices made. I tend to look at the positive side of things logically and the bigger picture. I look at the present and the future.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>But at a certain point, you have to take responsibility for your life, get the help you need, and stop inflicting your insanity on others and further destabilizing others who might actually have a shot at a healthy, happy, life.

Some people call this "growing up".
Others call it "becoming insufferably boring".
Different strokes.

Lex

 

[CGHJ]

Sadly, so many gay men go through life introducing drama into their lives to feel alive because they never got over that stage in their life when most men do. Let's face it "kids" from 16 to 22'ish thrive on drama. It's a stage of life. As you age you get over it. However, some never do because of underlying emotional damage that they need help for. It's why you have the TV show C.O.P.S. after all. Drama, drama, drama.

Drama is no different IMHO than excessive use of alcohol, drugs, or other brain altering substance. People use all of them to numb the pain of their existence, or justify their unsustainable lifestyle, or to just get thru the day without putting a gun in their mouth.

But at a certain point, you have to take responsibility for your life, get the help you need, and stop inflicting your insanity on others and further destabilizing others who might actually have a shot at a healthy, happy, life.

Yeah...I'm doing all this because I don't have TV anymore and can't watch COPS, plus all my pills ran out and I drank all my booze. So I was like, "Whose life can I destroy today?!"

But you're right! I will take responsibility for my life! Fuck any of my friends that aren't perfect...they'd all have perfect happy lives if I wasn't here to prey on their insecurities for my own sick amusement. From now on, I will only hang around people who are already perfect, like MoltenRock, who at the age of (what exactly, 19? 20?) has everything figured out already. That's the benefit of being young of course...only for a short moment do you understand everything so clearly, and then there's all this living that comes along and you learn all this stuff through experience, and you can never get that original clarity back.

From now on, it's only...well I guess it's you MoltenRock, I think you're probably the only person well-adjusted and perfectly drama-free enough for me to be friends with. Dammit!

 

[CGHJ]

I'm stating my opinion. But I don't agree that it should continue. It doesn't matter whether the friend is gay, straight, bi, or in a happy or unhappy marriage. The OP shouldn't play savior and try to rescue him from a situation. The wife and husband need to deal with that.

But as I always say, let nature take it's course. Whatever happens, happens. They have to live with the (hopefully smart) choices made. I tend to look at the positive side of things logically and the bigger picture. I look at the present and the future.

Basically I have decided to set him down, tell him how I feel, and let him know that if he splits with her I'll be there. I just don't want him to think I'm backing off because I'm rejecting him personally. Luckily I Know I can be this honest with him. If he says no then it was never meant to be in the first place and I'm sure we'll remain good friends. If he wants to be with me, then he'll know that he has a parachute when he bails on her. I am NOT going to demand that he make a choice...just let him know that he has that choice available to him if he wants/needs it.

I also want to make it clear that I am not going to take any action to end their marriage, other than make it clear that I'll help him if he decides to leave. I feal like I have a conflict of interest in the case...even though I do truly want what's best for him it's too easy for good motives to end up confused. Besides, all his other friends are working that program pretty hard, I don't need to do anything.

 

[youngnihilist]

Why care so much about some "straight" military boy half your age? It seems you are in the industry where you get access to hooking up with a lot of hot, much younger military men. Great, that must be a lot of fun. We envy your job. But to expect it to go any further than casual sex seems a little far fetched, no? Do pornographers typically get into more with their actors? (Even though this isn't an actor, it's the type of guy you would meet to cast)

Summed it up well here: "I meet a lot of marines that like to play, but there's no emotional attachment and making out is more boyfriend than fuckbuddy or friend with benefits"

 

[CGHJ]

Why care so much about some "straight" military boy half your age? It seems you are in the industry where you get access to hooking up with a lot of hot, much younger military men. Great, that must be a lot of fun. We envy your job. But to expect it to go any further than casual sex seems a little far fetched, no? Do pornographers typically get into more with their actors? (Even though this isn't an actor, it's the type of guy you would meet to cast)

Summed it up well here: "I meet a lot of marines that like to play, but there's no emotional attachment and making out is more boyfriend than fuckbuddy or friend with benefits"

Well see that's the thing...he's not straight, he's identified himself as bi. And I've seen his gay side come out, in public. So far, he's been the one pursuing me. He's the one the grabbed me in the kitchen the first time, practically molested me in front of other marines saying "I LOVE this guy!!", gave me the handjob in the car, grabbed my dick and started going down on me when I got out of the shower. When all this started I was the one who had to get up the balls to respond to his advances.

The question is whether those advances are more than sexual. If they are then I'd love to reciprocate those feelings. But if they're not, oh well. Is he mostly straight and willing to play? Or is he mostly gay and his wife is a beard? Or is he split right down the middle? He can really gay it up sometimes, for real. Then again he's also a very open-minded person in general, very un-uptight and free spirited. If I had to guess I'd say 60% straight, with a deep need to express that 40% but once he does he'll go back to the 60% side.

I do get to play with some hot marines, but only one of them appears on MyStraightBuddy and none on SemperFuck. But it's really just bros helping each other out, I don't get attached. I don't pursue, either...if a guy comes to me and says, "I'm drunk and horny let's experiment," you think I'll say no? But I've never actually tried to get in a marine's shorts and oddly I think that's why the come to me...cuz I'm so laid back about it they feel like they're on an equal level and won't get used and abused.

I really don't mind giving that up for one guy, if that's what that guy wants. That's the important part...it has to be what he wants, if it's not then that's fine.

I don't normally fall for anyone, which is kind of a big deal for me. I recognized Jack as someone whom I would definitely be willing to do stuff when I first met him, but I never pursued, he did. I didn't say I loved him, he said he loved me (many different kinds of love though, but on the other hand only one of those kinds of love likes giving blowjobs).

So as far as expecting more than casual sex...I didn't, but the possibility exists that he wants more than that, and that's a possibility that wouldn't be terribly awful as far as I'm concerned.

Def gotta find out for sure first though.

 

[NYDan815]

i think you've got me hooked on a very interesting story
keep us posted, its really interesting!