Feelings of guilt/grossness after sex?

[pat grimshaw]

…feelings of guilt and dirtiness …

I wouldn't worry about it, Trail. There's millions of other problems to come in your life and others' lives as well to occupy your mind in this great Vale of Tears.

 

[Sam Blum]

I felt this once when I almost took advantage of an opportunity to shag a guy when my partner was on a trip. The guilt saved me from making a terrible mistake.

The feelings that you've described, though, are something entirely unhelpful and damaging, I think. It's good that you're investigating them. Guilt is an unnatural emotion that grows from irrational fears based on social rules. Like shame, in this context it serves no constructive purpose and should be worked through and diminished.

When I've had sex, I always feel relieved, relaxed, happy, sexy, intimate and adored and valued. After a wank, I feel tired! Nothing more.

 

[Chuck69]

I only feel guilty if I don't cum hard enough.

I dated someone like that. I broke him of that obsessive nonsense by blowing my load on his chest, face, hair, groin, or in him, etc.... and forcing him to stay in bed for ______ minutes before letting him clean up. I gradually worked the time up by 5 or 10 mins every couple of weeks. After we broke up, and even to this day, he can now fall asleep with cum all over him / in him and not worry about cum.

Good boy!

 

[morgaes]

I usually lose interest in sex for a few minutes afterwards and thus close all tabs and stop pending downloads if there are any but it's not because of guilt. I used to get this feeling you describe when I first started masturbating but that was before I stopped giving a fuck about societal views on masturbating and my sexuality.

It's sad that we live in a society where "masturbation remorse" is a fairly normal phenomena. Not saying that everyone should be jacking off where- and whenever they please but it should be no shaming matter :/

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Pleasuring yourself is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Relax, and ENJOY it. You deserve it! If you don't spoil yourself once in a while, who will ??? It's natural, and human... There's nothing to be ashamed of. Explore your sexuality with awe and wonderment, and NO guilt.

 

[menRsexii]

Well i used to feel this way after masturbating, but no longer do thankgoodness. It's only natural! Haha. But now I'm worried about how I'm going to feel after having sex with someone else. You see, I'm already super paranoid about diseases and shit already (I'm pretty much a hypochondriac) so just putting myself in that position will give me all sorts of negative thoughts :/ In a way, that's why I'm scared to try it, and also I don't have a bf haha but that's a different story

 

[TrailofTears]

I do all the time. I have a real problem with sexuality in general. I feel uneasy when talking about who's attractive and I feel like a perv after touching myself...

I feel the same way sometimes. I feel like I should be above all this and shouldn't be tempted to succumb to these feelings all the time.

 

[HunterM]

You have to give yourself permission to compliment people's attractiveness...men and women. It's OK

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

Does anyone else here become overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and dirtiness after they finish masturbating or having sex? It's like immediately after I climax, I have to clean myself up, remove all evidence, and find some other distraction as quickly as possible. This cycle repeats itself when I get horny again.

I would've thought this would end after I stopped being a teenager (I'm 24 now), but I suppose not.

well lot great super educate countrys public ans more then a some countrys wot up ta todaday etc so on so millions of um woth many alls walk da great professions etc
so guess all got somethang ta share

anyway

back ta shoe polishins ans stuff so folk alls spanky shiny clean shoes world ova

 

[rareboy]

You so need therapy that you should run, not walk, to the nearest gay counselling centre.

You don't need or deserve to live the rest of your life in guilt and shame.

Embrace joy.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

You so need therapy that you should run, not walk, to the nearest gay counselling centre.

You don't need or deserve to live the rest of your life in guilt and shame.

Embrace joy.

therapyyyyyyy???? he no need THERAPYYYYYYYYYY wohle countrys whack jobsssss ans folks keep say THERAPPPPPPY???
' tis gonna be musical of SHindler's list? '
Knowin some cultures

just get ya countrys thumb out it ass ans teddybear or whateva back ta wokwakland

ans go meet bunch a folk wot not OOOH MA GADDDDDD
' wot? '
FLY IN MA SOUPPPPPPPPP
% SMASH BANG BANG BANG SWAT %
ooh ya soo braveeeeeee
' table 12 chairs porcys glasses cock wash bowls etc put on ya tab '
but not da fly
' sure '

ya know humans can hold up thumbs ans not fall ova

 

[TrailofTears]

You so need therapy that you should run, not walk, to the nearest gay counselling centre.

You don't need or deserve to live the rest of your life in guilt and shame.

Embrace joy.

Gay counseling centre? That's funny.

 

[coloradobottom]

When I first started masterbating with friends, I felt dirty. That past in a short time. Anal sex, I felt ashamed after a guy fucked me. That too finally past. A straight friend of mine and I often talk of our sex lives and what we like or do. He tells me that he isn't even finished cuming, and he is thinking shower time. He doesn't like the feeling of being unclean. He fucked his girlfriend in the ass once. He couldn't even finish he felt so dirty. She had to take the condom off for him as he wouldn't touch it. He was afraid of getting some poo on him. Then he went straight to the shower. Got back in bed and she blew him.

 

[Rex]

Only if the sex was bad.

 

[MoltenRock III]

Gay counseling centre? That's funny.

Why? They do exist, and even thrive 'ya know? Your mentally and emotionally unhealthy ways really need to be addressed before you can have a healthy, romantic, loving, same sex, relationship. What's so funny about that? Lemme' guess, gays deserve to feel dirty, disgusting, and evil, eh?

 

[MoltenRock III]

Oh fuck it! I just read your posting history TofT, and you've admitted you aren't keen on being gay, a mid-twenties virgin, deal with depression issues, and feel dirty after masturbating. But hey, a gay counselor suggestion to a poster is "funny"?

I feel bad for you, I really do. Aren't you tired of hating yourself? You have so much to give, and yet you've let some bizarre childhood trauma / religion / OCD mental affliction rule your life. I think you really should think about seeing a counselor. One you can be honest and open with about being gay. In your mind, or thoughts of what god wants from you, are they really that warped that you think loving another person who just so happens to be the same sex as you really that awful???

 

[pat grimshaw]

… Lemme' guess…

You and RB do a lot of guessing and ranting but you both seem incapable of listening.

 

[MoltenRock III]

You and RB do a lot of guessing and ranting but you both seem incapable of listening.

Funny how you clipped my full quote where I asked it as a question, as indicated by the ? punctuation mark.

But this thread isn't about you, or your hard-on for Rareboy, myself, or others who counsel gay men incapable of having normal, healthy, emotionally satisfying sexual intercourse, to get help. Indulging one's own OCD is fundamentally unhealthy, and leads to a life whereby a man ends up in his 30s, 40s, and 50s even, still lusting after str8 boys and unable to have a sexual satisfying (much less emotionally satisfying) relationship lasting more than a few days/weeks.

Go grind your Puritanical axe elsewhere.

 

[pat grimshaw]

^
like I said, you do a lot of guessing and ranting but seem incapable of listening.

 

[rareboy]

Gay counseling centre? That's funny.

You think that's funny?

Really????

As Molten and I have pointed out, you need some actual serious face to face help to get yourself straightened around. In many cities, you'll find gay centres that can connect you with counsellors....sometimes for no money, who can help damaged men like you come to terms with being a homo and help undo a lifetime of behavioural conditioning that has led to your guilt. If you aren't near one of these, contact them anyway and see if they can help you find a gay or gay friendly counsellor in your area.

You don't want to live your entire life as one of those repressed, buttoned up, pinched lipped homos who have an aversion to every bodily function and orifice.... afraid of sexual and emotional intimacy.

Right now, you sound like a real mess. There are few, if any, guys out there, who are going to have the time or patience to help you lug around all of your baggage. The only ones are likely going to be as emotionally and psychologically stunted as you.

While some might throw out empty platitudes about life being a ' vale of tears', they are probably just like you. Sitting alone in the dark, furtively jerking off to porn and not only feeling dirty all the time, but doing their best to make everyone else feel guilty and filthy as well.


Your choice there sunshine. I'll be watching for your posts and threads to see if you genuinely are looking for advice and freedom from the prison you're building for yourself, or whether you are one of those who troll the boards on a regular basis looking for pity and constantly implanting the idea that somehow being a homo is a nasty thing.

And Grimshaw.

I get that you are frustrated and angry about life and getting your ass handed to you all the time on these threads. I'm sure you are still grieving for the loss of Navigaytion. But unless you actually have some further advice, or clarification on your previous empty throw away observation, you are just cluttering up the threads with your bitter tirades.