Chapter 39 – All RoadsLead To Macon
“Euie, sweetie, were you here all night?”  I got to the office early for me and found Euie asleep at his desk.
“Ummm. Nngg. Ooouw.”
“Sorry to wake you. Were you here all night?”
“Mmmm. Most of it. I'll love you forever if you make some coffee, Mac.”
“What work was so compelling you spent the night?”
“Long story.” He paused. “Short one really.  Vince's mother arrived and she's staying at the apartment. I'm not staying there because she hates gays. I believe 'disgusting' was her exact word.”
“But it's half YOUR apartment.”
“Not worth arguing about. She's only supposed to be here until Vince gets his bandages off, which is next week.”
“Behold,” Hollis blewin the door with a bag. “I bring goodies from the bakery. Pain au chocolat for Euie, cerices en croute for Mac our cherry boy, and plain croissant for me because I'm the healthy one.”
Euie and I said thanks without enthusiasm.
“What's wrong? Did I go to the wrong bakery?”
“Vince's mother hates gays and threw Euie out of their apartment,” I explained.
“Euie,” Hollis questioned, plainly appalled.  Euie just nodded. Hollis, with more spontaneous emotion than I had ever seen before, grabbed Euie out of his chair and hugged him. “No, no, she can't do that.” I think Euie appreciated the hug. “She can't,” Hollis repeated.
“She can. It's not worth arguing about. It just upsets Vince and I don't want him upset over something that's nothing.”
“It's not nothing. You can live with me.  I'll help you move your stuff. Right now. Let's go.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, you get the bed; I'll take the couch. No discussion. I'm shorter; I fit on the couch better. Let's go right now.”
“Why don't you wait until she leaves?” I suggested. “Besides the coffee's ready. And who wants luke warm coffee? And how is Vince, anyway. You said he gets his bandages off.”
“He's in good spirits except for the argument with his mother. She complained about me being around and he said I'm the most important person in his life, so of course I'm around.”
“God damn right you are,” Hollis confirmed. “What's wrong with this bitch?”
“Just old-fashioned. Vince told her, 'You've got three other sons who have given you eight grandkids so far, just leave Euie and me alone.'  And she spouted some stuff about religion and the Old Testament. Then Vince called the Old Testament 'bad history, crazy ethics, and wishful thinking.' That was when I left them yesterday.”
Hollis tried to hug Euie again but Euie said, “Quit hugging me; I'll spill my coffee.” And then he kissed Hollis's cheek. “But I appreciate the sentiment. ”It was a very band of brothers moment. I may have teared up a little.
“No tears, Macon. We love you, too,” Hollis laughed.
I dabbed my eye and sniffled. “I can't help it.”
Richard picked that moment to arrive. “Alright, who is the wisest of all? Probably you, Mac. You've experienced the most disappointments. Anyway I need some advice.  I told Jimmy I love him and he didn't say it back. He just said, 'That's the nicest thing I ever heard.'”
“And then?” I asked.
“Well, then he fucked me,” Richard replied. “Did I do wrong?  Admit too much? What do I do now? I'm guessing I should have kept my mouth shut. But Jimmy is lookin' so hot lately, I barely want to get out of bed.”
“Lately? Jimmy was always hot – a little scruffy at first, maybe, but ALWAYS hot, Richard.”
“Was it a good fuck?” Hollis asked.
“It's always a good fuck, ever since that little piece of shit Anthony gave Jimmy lessons.”
“Well, I'd say ...”
Richard cut me off. “Too long winded. I want a couple words.”
“Do nothing. Wait for the right moment and tell him again. Let him deal with it,” Euie said.
Richard said, “Not just a pretty face, Euie. No wonder Vince loves you. Are the pastries all gone? I think love is making me hungry.”
“Look in the white bag,” Hollis told him. “I think there's one or two left.  Maybe not enough for a growing boy who's in love though.  Love, huh? I guess it's never too late, huh, Richie?”
Richard swallowed what was in his mouth and said, “You know, Jimmy calls me that and I kind of like it. But I'm a senior partner around here which means I'm Richard to all you assholes.”
“Speaking of assholes,” George said sticking his head in the door, “Mac, I need you to visit the Paul Penwood place.”
I could feel the blood draining from my face.  “Uh, George, do I have to … you know.”
“Cheer up, he's dead. There's something in his will that his daughter wants to work out with you. She asked for you, specifically. Otherwise I would have sent Hollis.  Hop on your horse, please. I told her you'd be there at nine.”
Just to be contrary, instead of hopping on my horse, I answered the phone.  “Middleburg Investments. Mac Bacon speaking. Can I help you?” I listened to the voice. “Hollis it's for you.” Then I jumped on my horse, a gently-used Prius, as the sleezy salesman called it. There was a little shimmy in the front end if I pushed the Prius much above forty-five, so it took a while to get to Penwood's place. I knocked and rang the bell. 
“Hello, I'm Rappahannia Penwood. You are Macon Bacon? Come in.” We went to Penwood's study, the scene of so much history.
“What do I call you?” I was trying to be polite.
“Depends how you like what I have to say. Miss Penwood, probably; or River for laughs.”
We sat. “River …Rappahannia? Oh I get it. Funny.” I didn't laugh and neither did she. “Ok, then. What do you have to say?”  That was forward of me, but from the sound of things, what came next wouldn't be pleasant. I glanced over at the couch and pictured Carlos lying there spatchcocked, waiting for my dick. Sweet, so-fuckable Carlos.
“My father's will stipulates that you get ten percent of his estate if you can explain why he wants to remember you. For your purposes, the estate is worth about twenty-seven million. So you would get ...”
“More than I ever imagined.” I was surprised and at the same time wary. “Your father and I had a ...”
“Don't explain to me. Here's the estate's lawyer's phone number.”  She passed me a printed card.  “You were fucking him, right?”
“Or it may have been that he was fucking me.”
“I'm not thinking much of that. He was such a voyeur. He watched me lose my virginity at a tender age while he masturbated. He knew I could see him.”
“Yes, well … Um … Is there more you want to tell me?  You're not the daughter I met. Are there two of you?”
“Yes, two. And a deadbrother.”
“One more question. Another man named Carlos was often involved. Is there any mention of him in the will?”
“That's all I have to say about it.  Please call the lawyer. He may be able to help you. Thank you, Mr. Bacon.”  I was dismissed.
Not so fast, toots, I thought. “Why did you ask me to call? Couldn't the lawyer have done all this?”
“I was curious about who was worth ten percent of the estate. I wouldn't have guessed you. You look … very ordinary.”
“I am ordinary - married with two children, doing a little better than surviving.”
“Well, lucky you. A little windfall then.”  She closed the door after looking annoyed by the car that was disgracing her front door.
I drove back to the office slowly, of course.  Maybe she had a right to be annoyed with my Prius and its driver.  For all she knew I had made off with ten percent of her inheritance by having sex with her father.  Would she have been as annoyed if I had been a woman? Was it the homosex or just the sex that got to her. Or was she just a natural-born asshole? Hard to say.
“Technically, the ten percent goes to the company,” George said, after I recounted the meeting to him. “Everything you did with the Penwoods you did as our agent.”
“The sex part?  I thought the performance of illicit sex could not be part of a contract.”
“How about the company takes a fifth and you get the rest? You'd get over two million. Besides, it would cost you more that a fifth to pay the costs of a lawsuit.” George always sounded so reasonable ever when he was delivering a death sentence.
“That's not going to get you a Nobel Prize nomination, George, but I accept your offer, assuming the estate's lawyer doesn't do me out of everything. And I have a feeling that may be the exact plan.”