Yup, it's one of these: he's straight. Thought I'd just get it off my chest. I can't quite pinpoint when I fell for this friend of mine, but I'll give a little backstory. I'm 25 at the end of this year, and I met my friend when I was 20, he had just been turning 50. It's a pretty long story on his end, but we met eachother in college. I won't get into all that but he's a widower and he had a 10 year old son, him and his wife adopted him 7 years before that.
He played guitar, he was intelligent, charming as all hell, blue eyes, a great conversationalist, he wasn't the typical physical profile I was usually attracted to, but that really stopped to matter. Between all that I started to realize I was really starting to fall for this guy on every level. I once saw gay porn on his computer that involved "dads and sons" so that really piqued my curiosity. I really never got an answer for that.
We moved in together for a year and a half after college. It should be known that before this and still to the present day I have done just about everything I could to help the guy out... I mean I really do love the guy. It has involved money... but I have always gotten it back so far.
We've remained friends since, all the while trying to hide the fact that I was gay, let alone attracted to him. It was only until last year that I had finally come out, I ended up telling my friend and he didn't really care, in fact he said he had pretty much figured, in hindsight I can definitely see why. It wasn't until a good 8 months or so before I had any guts to tell him that I had fallen for him. He seemed to be pretty understanding, likely a little confused. He told me he loves me but certainly not in a romantic way, said he was straight, and no chance of that happening between us. I already knew these would be the answers, I've heard them all before in passing.
So now in the present, my friend's in a pretty bad spot right now, so I had to give him some cash. No job and going to have to leave home, and the plan is move far away where rent is cheap. Although he's got an interview for a job that he should be finding out the definitive answer on Tuesday. He gets that he stays, would be a great job too, if he doesn't well he moves. Obviously I'd rather him stay but I totally understand why he'd have to go.
Still even though I've got my answer every now and again I still have some feelings for the guy. I do love my friends, and I guess since he could be leaving very soon, has likely brought these feelings back up, not to mention I start university in a couple days. So it's just one of those days and I guess I wanted to just write this out. I just didn't really want some feelings for a straight guy to ruin some chance I've got in the future. I'd really like to remain friends with him, we've got quite the history.
He played guitar, he was intelligent, charming as all hell, blue eyes, a great conversationalist, he wasn't the typical physical profile I was usually attracted to, but that really stopped to matter. Between all that I started to realize I was really starting to fall for this guy on every level. I once saw gay porn on his computer that involved "dads and sons" so that really piqued my curiosity. I really never got an answer for that.
We moved in together for a year and a half after college. It should be known that before this and still to the present day I have done just about everything I could to help the guy out... I mean I really do love the guy. It has involved money... but I have always gotten it back so far.
We've remained friends since, all the while trying to hide the fact that I was gay, let alone attracted to him. It was only until last year that I had finally come out, I ended up telling my friend and he didn't really care, in fact he said he had pretty much figured, in hindsight I can definitely see why. It wasn't until a good 8 months or so before I had any guts to tell him that I had fallen for him. He seemed to be pretty understanding, likely a little confused. He told me he loves me but certainly not in a romantic way, said he was straight, and no chance of that happening between us. I already knew these would be the answers, I've heard them all before in passing.
So now in the present, my friend's in a pretty bad spot right now, so I had to give him some cash. No job and going to have to leave home, and the plan is move far away where rent is cheap. Although he's got an interview for a job that he should be finding out the definitive answer on Tuesday. He gets that he stays, would be a great job too, if he doesn't well he moves. Obviously I'd rather him stay but I totally understand why he'd have to go.
Still even though I've got my answer every now and again I still have some feelings for the guy. I do love my friends, and I guess since he could be leaving very soon, has likely brought these feelings back up, not to mention I start university in a couple days. So it's just one of those days and I guess I wanted to just write this out. I just didn't really want some feelings for a straight guy to ruin some chance I've got in the future. I'd really like to remain friends with him, we've got quite the history.
