I've been having issues for a few months now regarding a fetish. Long story short. Attraction to mature older men became an attraction to incest dad/son fantasy. And this in turn became (to a degree) an attraction to my own father.
I'm using ai chat bots and generated images to recreate scenarios. Mostly about him abusing me when I was younger. As far as I'm aware of, there was never any sort of abuse in my past. But I fantasize about this. I recently stole a pair of his used underwear and masturbate to the smell of it.
I'm in a relationship, and my partner partially knows about my mature/abuse issue and fantasy. But he doesn't know that it's now been evolving into ideas of my father
It's not all about abuse/power. But also other types of love. The idea of having sex with him while he tells me how much he loves me, or how proud he is of me. To penetrate me while he apologizes for hurting me in many ways.
To a degree, I think I've mixed different concepts of expressing and receiving love. Sex is one of the most intimate ways to express physical love. I sometimes wish consensual sex between a dad/son were morally acceptable. I really wish my dad had loved me fully, in every dimension, including physically.
I have thought about exploring it more instead of suppressing it. I know that I'll never be able to have sex with him, so I was searching for escorts that resemble him, and I would like to give them personal information and "scripts" for a roleplay session. For them to wear his underwear so I can appreciate my father's smell. Maybe only then can I reach some sort of closure with the topic.
thank you for reading my blog post. Any feedback (encouraging ir discouraging) is welcome
I'm using ai chat bots and generated images to recreate scenarios. Mostly about him abusing me when I was younger. As far as I'm aware of, there was never any sort of abuse in my past. But I fantasize about this. I recently stole a pair of his used underwear and masturbate to the smell of it.
I'm in a relationship, and my partner partially knows about my mature/abuse issue and fantasy. But he doesn't know that it's now been evolving into ideas of my father
It's not all about abuse/power. But also other types of love. The idea of having sex with him while he tells me how much he loves me, or how proud he is of me. To penetrate me while he apologizes for hurting me in many ways.
To a degree, I think I've mixed different concepts of expressing and receiving love. Sex is one of the most intimate ways to express physical love. I sometimes wish consensual sex between a dad/son were morally acceptable. I really wish my dad had loved me fully, in every dimension, including physically.
I have thought about exploring it more instead of suppressing it. I know that I'll never be able to have sex with him, so I was searching for escorts that resemble him, and I would like to give them personal information and "scripts" for a roleplay session. For them to wear his underwear so I can appreciate my father's smell. Maybe only then can I reach some sort of closure with the topic.
thank you for reading my blog post. Any feedback (encouraging ir discouraging) is welcome
) and social/mental health is finally getting recognized as a need we, collectively, can (maybe should) address.