Fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu-

[Nomenclature]

Okay, i'll keep this brief:


There's a local store my family does business with.


The family that owns it has their nephew running it, and he's there almost every day.


A female employee of the store spent awhile hitting on him and trying to get him to want her, but he never seemed interested. He told her that he thinks of her as a "best friend", and she now SWEARS he's gay.


He never shows interest in girls, and when I teased him about it, he affirmed "I don't have time for girls", and kind of changed the subject. I mean, i've known plenty of guys from all walks of life who were busy with both work and school. . .but they still always seemed to have a ton of interest in girls.



While me, him and others are standing around talking, I notice that we sometimes catch eyes at exactly the same time, when we think the other person isn't looking. . .and if I laugh or smile at something, he looks at me and smiles back, when he easily could have looked at someone else who was smiling or laughing just as much.


The last time he did that, it was with this cute, submissive little look in his eyes. . .and. . .


So, no i'm not saying he's gay or asking for anyone here to TELL me he is. I just don't know how to think of him; I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me, and it makes me feel guilty; I don't want to be looking for something that isn't there.
I feel like that bitch co-worker planted an evil thought in my brain that never should have been there.


I mean, because this guy is straight, and just very disciplined, hard working and shy. . . right?














fffuuuuuu-

 

[hylas]

good lord, fuck him already.

 

[KaraBulut]

Well, let's say he is gay. Then what.... why does it matter? What do you want from him?

 

[Audio Tech]

Yeah, I used to make the same lame excuses about girls and I thought people actually bought that.

Ask him if he wants to hang out a bit, and go from there. What do you have to loose?

 

[Gomaki]

Lol "I don't have time for girls".
Yep, I used that one, too.

I can't believe I used to say that. Who really says they don't have time unless they are completely uninterested?

 

[Nomenclature]

good lord, fuck him already.

No, you.

Well, let's say he is gay. Then what.... why does it matter? What do you want from him?

A local gay friend; someone I can relate to and confide in.


In the past, I had a local friend who was a hardcore Christian, and insisted that he was saving his virginity until marriage. We were never really that close, but we had a mutual respect for one another. After he moved away, he started coming out as gay. . .and we got to talking online again. We confided in each other, and it was therapeutic for us. There was never any attraction between us, but we both really enjoyed talking and being ourselves when we spoke to each other.



Whenever i've attempted to make local gay friends, it seems that they've ALWAYS caused drama, outed me and were into this whole party/hook-up scene that just wasn't me. I kind of wish I had someone to talk to who was kind more like myself, maybe. Someone who isn't just on the other side of a computer.

Yeah, I used to make the same lame excuses about girls and I thought people actually bought that.

Ask him if he wants to hang out a bit, and go from there. What do you have to loose?

Well, my jeans are a size too big. They ARE a little loose. . .



If you're suggesting I go in there and drop my pants, then that's the best advice i've ever gotten. brb while I go do that.

 

[G-Lexington]

Before you drop trou, lemme ask the obvious question.

Does he know YOU're gay?

Lex

 

[Nomenclature]

No, he doesn't. That would be a hell of a way to come out, though.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well he can't be your local gay friend if he thinks you're straight.

Do you have any plans on letting him know you're gay?

If not, this is all so much waste of time. You're going to have to tell him some way or another, what's stopping you?

 

[G-Lexington]

^ Bingo. That's something we (used to) see a lot here on CO&R. "I think this guy might be gay, but I'm not going to tell him I'M gay." Well, then why should he tell YOU, y'know? If anything is going to happen - and I mean "happen" as in "we become friends" or "we go fuck like rabbits" - one of you is going to have to say something. May as well be you, right?

Lex

 

[Nomenclature]

Well he can't be your local gay friend if he thinks you're straight.

And he can't be my local gay friend if he happens to be straight.

Do you have any plans on letting him know you're gay?

If I can be absolutely sure this won't end in disaster? Most likely.



I'm really not in any hurry. I still talk to him on just about a daily basis. This is something i'm going to have to do a lot of thinking about before I consider acting on.

If anything is going to happen - and I mean "happen" as in "we become friends" or "we go fuck like rabbits"

STOP PLANTING EVIL THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD. EVIL EVIL EVIL!!

 

[TX-Beau]

And he can't be my local gay friend if he happens to be straight.


If I can be absolutely sure this won't end in disaster? Most likely.

Impasse, you won’t tell him you’re gay until you know how he’ll react, but you can’t know how he’ll react until you tell him.

And around and around the merry-go-round we go!!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Honestly, look, you aren't getting anywhere pursuing this strategy of indecision.

At some point you're going to have to grab your scrotum and say something, so there's no time like the present. I've read a lot of your posts, and you don't seem to come off as being repressed to the point of paralysis, you don't seem to have major issues, so go for it.

Since you don't want to date this guy, what's stopping you from letting him know you're gay?

A game plan for you.

You don't have to say "I'm gay." You could just say that you'd like to "go to (insert appropriately gay venue here)" but don't have anyone to go with. If he's gay chances are he'll know what you're talking about. If he's straight he probably isn't that acquainted with all the local gay venues. Either way, you didn't hit on him, you didn't threaten, you didn't have to say "I'm gay."

Back when I was in college I used this ploy all the time, I'd just say I was a bartender at J.R's and that told all the gay boys all they needed to know.

Try it. Try something.

 

[Audio Tech]

Well, my jeans are a size too big. They ARE a little loose. . .



If you're suggesting I go in there and drop my pants, then that's the best advice i've ever gotten. brb while I go do that.

No, I suggest you ask him if he wants to hang out, go see a movie, a sport, concert, whatever. Just some activity. NOT dropping your pants, you idgit!

I mean, how well do you know this guy? Work on being friends first and just see.

One of my own gay friends started out as just a friend, I found out he was gay later.

No plans to do anything with him, he's just a gay friend I can talk to.

But I had to eventually tell him. Someone HAS to make the first move, period.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>And he can't be my local gay friend if he happens to be straight.

But then you can be his.

Lex

 

[Nomenclature]

Impasse, you won’t tell him you’re gay until you know how he’ll react, but you can’t know how he’ll react until you tell him.

And around and around the merry-go-round we go!!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

♪ Rolla Coasta
Of Love

Rolla Coasta
uh-Woo hoo hoo! ♫

At some point you're going to have to grab your scrotum and say something, so there's no time like the present.

So, I should drop my pants and grab my scrotum? I'd love if he came out to me this way.


Honestly, it's truly in my best interest to look before I leap. It's easy to tell someone online to hurry up and make a move they might regret later, because if it goes badly, it didn't happen to YOU. You can just laugh, close your browser and go about your life.

I, on the other hand, would have to live with my decision, regardless of whether it goes good or bad. I definitely want to try talking to this guy more, and becoming a little more familiar and learning his personality/boundaries before I make my decision.

No, I suggest you ask him if he wants to hang out, go see a movie, a sport, concert, whatever. Just some activity. NOT dropping your pants, you idgit!

Ohhhh, alright. Fine.

I mean, how well do you know this guy? Work on being friends first and just see.

Alright. That sounds like the best option to me.

>>>And he can't be my local gay friend if he happens to be straight.

But then you can be his.

Well, not every straight man is interested in having a homosexual friend, especially if it would hurt their reputation amongst their friends or family. I've been there and done that, too.





So, i've vented by explaining the situation, i've gotten your advice and have decided that i'm going to just kinda get to know him and play the situation by ear. The End.

 

[Lube]

Well if you want a gay friend, it's no different than having a straight friend, except he's more interested when you talk about hot guys and sex.

So just become friends as if he were straight. And you'll end up with a friend regardless.

P.S.--of course he's gay.

 

[Nomenclature]

So, the day before yesterday, it was the manager's birthday. They put up decorations in the store, bought her lunch etc. I walked in and surprised her with a cake, and The Guy insisted that he pay me for it. I jokingly told him "Just buy her a cake next year."

For some odd reason, this got a genuine laugh out of him; He said he likes my sense of humor. :-o


Yesterday, the employees brought their families in and they were hanging out. The Guy specifically wanted me there with them, and insisted I come over. He was happy to see me, but he playfully scolded me for being late.



I'm not really concerned with whether he's gay so much anymore, but I definitely get the sense that we enjoy talking to each other, for whatever that's worth. I'll just continue enjoying it for what it is for right now.




/update

 

[3nipples]

Jeeeeeze. He wants to pay you gor the cake. You: No, it's ok, but you can take me out for a beer sometime. FOCUS!, lol

 

[Nomenclature]

Jeeeeeze. He wants to pay you gor the cake. You: No, it's ok, but you can take me out for a beer sometime. FOCUS!, lol

That would be incredibly awesome if I weren't only 20 years old and could actually go out for a beer.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>That would be incredibly awesome if I weren't only 20 years old and could actually go out for a beer.

You: No, it's ok, but you can [STRIKE]take me out for a beer[/STRIKE] buy me lunch sometime.

Lex