Fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu-

[Nomenclature]

>>>That would be incredibly awesome if I weren't only 20 years old and could actually go out for a beer.

You: No, it's ok, but you can [STRIKE]take me out for a beer[/STRIKE] buy me lunch sometime.

Lex

Well. . .we talked a little more, and found we share a mutual interest in spicy food, so he's actually bringing in some food for me to try and wants me to eat with him (!!).


Another thing I can update on:


He definitely does like me; He was asking my mother about me (!!), and said that i'm a good person and likes when I come in there.



I know a lot of you are rolling your eyes, but I actually like that he's a total dork like that.






So, now i'm going to have to be careful and find out exactly IN WHAT WAY he likes me. Now wouldn't be the right time for me to drop my pants just yet.


Since this involves the work place, I also have to be very careful about acting on this, either way; If I screw anything up or create a problem somehow, then we lose our livelihood for right now. So. . .





I guess i'll continue to update this thread as/when anything new happens. Thanks for giving me someone - anyone - to vent about this to.

 

[IllgetyouHackman]

I'm anxious to hear.

 

[Cyanlaser]

oooh the plot thickens. I was just reading this post and am really curious to see how it all goes good luck

 

[KaraBulut]

Oh good lord. Ask him out already.

 

[Nomenclature]

Update:

After seeming so interested in me for awhile there, he suddenly lost interest and will barely even talk to me anymore. He's very cold and shy around men, but will laugh and joke with girls all day long.


I guess he is straight. \()/


So, he's either straight OR just not that into me. Either way, it seems like it's a good thing I haven't made too big of a move then.

 

[JOHN B]

Well, then try the same behavior that HE is giving, with him. Start ignoring him. Not completely, or overtly,....just back off from your usually "friendly" attitude a bit, and see how he reacts. Maybe he IS what you think, and if he DOES like you, he might start pursuing YOU, thinking you are not interested anymore. (am I making any sense, lol?)

 

[3nipples]

Well, then try the same behavior that HE is giving, with him. Start ignoring him. Not completely, or overtly,....just back off from your usually "friendly" attitude a bit, and see how he reacts. Maybe he IS what you think, and if he DOES like you, he might start pursuing YOU, thinking you are not interested anymore. (am I making any sense, lol?)

This is playing games and the other party is just as likely to misunderstand completely as act in the way your fantasy would have it. It's the opposite of what you should be doing in any kind of relationship, which is to COMMUNICATE.

The way I see it, your strategy should be to get to know him better outside the workplace, whether he's gay or not and whether it develops into a friendship or something more intimate is irrelevant at this point.

You think he's giving you the cold shoulder? Go up to him and say something like : hey, you look a bit down lately, how about I take you out to dinner and you can tell me all about what's eating you and I can cheer you up.

The important thing is to keep your goal in mind and work towards it.

 

[BananaPeel]

Well, then try the same behavior that HE is giving, with him. Start ignoring him. Not completely, or overtly,....just back off from your usually "friendly" attitude a bit, and see how he reacts. Maybe he IS what you think, and if he DOES like you, he might start pursuing YOU, thinking you are not interested anymore. (am I making any sense, lol?)

Okay.. now I think that is a bad idea. You will just end up just not talking to each other and you will eventually just treat each other like strangers.

Hey, if you don't want to come out to him. Thats totally fine, coz you dont want to it make it awkward in the work environment.

 

[Nomenclature]

I just re-read the bit about him being less comfy around dudes and more comfy around the ladies. That doesn't exactly scream hetero, imho.

haha They also say that he acts "girly" sometimes, and like I said in the OP: one of the co-workers swears that he must be gay.



He also NOTICES WHEN THE GIRLS GET THEIR NAILS DONE, and COMPLIMENTS THEM ON THEIR SHOES.


/facepalm

Okay.. now I think that is a bad idea. You will just end up just not talking to each other and you will eventually just treat each other like strangers.

Hey, if you don't want to come out to him. Thats totally fine, coz you dont want to it make it awkward in the work environment.

That's exactly what I have to keep in mind. I'm not out to anyone I work with, and if one of us - me or the guy this thread is about - DID decide to come out, word would get around to everyone, including our families. Since he works for family, he could lose a lot: his job, his future business and his family's support if he were to come out.



So, let's just assume that the gaydar IS accurate here, and he is in fact gay. He liked me, but then when he thought it was getting too obvious, he backed off and decided to remain closeted until he at least graduates college, or moves away or something. . .because he knows his current situation better than I do, and figures i'm probably straight anyway.


Wouldn't I be an ass if I didn't respect that, and completely changed this poor guy's life for my own selfish reasons?



/deep thoughts

 

[JOHN B]

Actually, it came out sounding wrong. I just meant that if the other guy seemed to be pulling away, maybe it was because Nom was coming on too strong. And if the other guy really was gay and closeted, he probably shut down for fear of being "found out". It sounds like in the beginning, there was a "connection". So, if the other guy really is interested, maybe by Nom pulling away a bit, HE will show an interest in NOM,...being that he feels Nom is losing interest and this guy does not want him too.
I've been in situations where I have seen guys who were closeted, pull back and fake a lack of interest in a guy flirting with them, but yet at the same time, be hurt when the flirting stops; and then kinda send out "hey, yo" "don't forget me" signals to let the other know that there really is an interest there.

 

[evanrick]

imagine anyone understanding all this shit LOL
what i dont understand is the point of this thread if you dont want people telling you stuff you may not want to hear.

 

[Nomenclature]

I am like, SO totally over him anyway.

Delete this thread.

 

[Nomenclature]

*grudging sigh*


I truly was done worrying about this guy, and making something from nothing about it online. So, for the last few days, I completely gave up and ignored the guy. Not in a mean way, but I was just quiet and minded my business while I was there.


Well, today while my back was turned (I was checking stock), he walks up behind me and playfully, yet firmly massages my shoulders for a few seconds.














































Oh.






























Mah.


























Gah!!




Maybe John B. IS onto something then, huh?



So, after this happened, he was standing there talking to another employee, and I happen to catch eyes with him. . .he's looking at me out of the corner of his eye and smiling.



You fucking bastard!




So, as i'm leaving, his cell phone rings on the counter. . .and his ring tone is Down, by Jay Sean.






[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BkUKpA5RN0[/ame]






Now i'll always associate this song with the first time he broke the touch barrier and felt me up. How romantic!



-----

Why don't you just ask the co-worker girl to start playing the same mind games on him?

You know, she could 'confide' in him that you've 'confided' things to her, that she's positive you're gay, and that you talk about him all the time in a crushy sort of way.

No one in the store knows i'm gay, and i've never spoken about any sort of crush to anyone. I would have to actually come out to her and speak about him in a crushy sort of way in order for that to work.


Which would be tough, because this girl flirts with me and thinks I like her.


♪ DUHN DUHN DUHNNNN! ♫




I can still feel his hands on my shoulders. . .damn, his hands are so strong. . .lmao

 

[seven2go]

*grudging sigh*

Well, today while my back was turned (I was checking stock), he walks up behind me and playfully, yet firmly massages my shoulders for a few seconds.

That's pretty hot.......

 

[Nomenclature]

Update:

Today, he said "hello" to a few people before me today with no issues, but as soon as he said "Hello" to me, he looked diagonally down and seemed to blush a little.

He's gotten over his shyness a bit, and since we now know each other a little better, we now talk and playfully tease one another openly. Others are beginning to notice that he likes talking to me lately, too. Meanwhile, he's very noticeably and completely uninterested in the female coworkers.


No shoulder rubs tonight, but he did put his hands on my shoulders again as I was stepping out of a narrow doorway to let him through. I would write this off as nothing if he were a naturally touchy-feely guy, but i've never seen him do anything like this with anyone else other than me.


I know this is illogical, childish. silly and not exactly what I had in mind when I first made this thread. . .but i'm really starting to feel something for this guy, and I can't help but get this very scary feeling that he might know, and feel something in return.


The ice has been broken, and the proverbial snowball's rolling down the hill now, though. This could either progress further, or all immediately crash in an epic disaster of misunderstandings and "oh no you DI'INT!"s. I guess we'll have to find out what happens next together, JUB. . .because I know just about as much as you do as this point.



See you next update.

 

[backpacker]

You may have moved past this point now, but I would say that when he backed off it was out of frustration. I think he may have given up on the idea that you may be gay and backed off to protect his emotions. I'm glad the ice has been broken again.

You have to find a way to hang out with him outside of work. Mention movies that you would like to see when he is around. If he shows interest in the movie, ask him if he wants to go with you. Another idea, pick your favorite restaurant for spicy food and ask him if he has ever ate there. If he says no, invite him to go with you. If he says they have great food, suggest you two go there sometime. If he says he likes a different restaurant, say "I'll have to check it out. Do you want to go with me?". If you are into video games, mention some new games that you have. If he shows interest, invite him over to play with you (hopefully in more ways than one - lol). You need to get some one-on-one time outside of work so that you can both let your guard down a little. Given that you both seem afraid to make a move, it may take a couple of times before things happen. Good luck!

 

[soiram]

Wow...this sounds so romantic. I definitely agree with Backpacker! You need to arrange a meeting *cough*date*cough* outside work. Since you do have some common interests, just base it on that!!! It is obvious that you both feel uncomfortable doing anything while at work.

A word of caution though. I've met a couple of fairly straight guys who do this back-rub thing. I guess it is some kind of macho-fraternity-we're all men here thingy for them. But in the case you describe here, it might be different, given the context! Anyway, do try to do (something with) him *lol* outside working hours! And let us know how it goes...

 

[Nomenclature]

A word of caution though. I've met a couple of fairly straight guys who do this back-rub thing. I guess it is some kind of macho-fraternity-we're all men here thingy for them.

Well, this guy is definitely NOT the macho frat boy type (and neither am I), so i'm not sure if he would mean it in that way. . . but you DO bring up a very good point: I'm still very worried about misreading all of this right now.


Like I said: I'm feeling so many different emotions and thoughts about this situation. I'd have literally gone insane had I not had an outlet to blog all of this to and to get comments.


So, I still have no choice but to do what i've always planned on doing: Take this a step at a time and just see what happens. This thread has gotten a lot of views, and it's also apparently good spank material for some. . .lol so i'll keep you guys updated.

 

[seven2go]

Hmmmmmm.......how about.......the NEXT time he starts with the shoulder thing.......you lean into him a bit.......dang that's hot.......

 

[Nomenclature]

Hey guys,

I don't think i'm going to be able to talk to this guy anymore, since I busted my front tooth and it's going to be a LONG time before i'll be able to do anything about it. Nothing ruins a player's game more than a broken-off dental bond.


So, until then. . .i'm not sure i'm going to have anything else to add.