Finding a Doctor & is it right to ask who I have sex with?

[Luke Lighthart]

I'm currently looking for a primary doctor. Do you have any advice? I'm a little worried about finding someone who is anti-gay which would negatively reflect upon any appropriate care I need.

I visited a doctor in college last semester and she asked me, specifically, who I had sex with -- the gender. Are they allowed to ask this?

Isn't there nothing that a gay person does that straight people do not already do? Except, perhaps different risks, pregnancy for instance, but I've heard of some gay people "experimenting" and accidentally getting their friend pregnant so it seems to be even across the board...

Am I allowed to not disclose the gender of my partners? But, then I will already be saying something through silence and indicating I'm gay or bi...

 

[KaraBulut]

There have been some other discussions on the forum about whether it is necessary for a patient to disclose their sexual orientation to a doctor.

It's a matter of opinion but there's no medical reason why sexual orientation would be important. It's largely a remnant of stereotypes- that gay people and straight people have sex in different ways and that straight people are monogamous while gay people are sluts.

What is important is what the patient does sexually- i.e. is the male or female having unprotected anal sex with multiple partners. Asking "Do you have sex with men?" is not the same as "Are you practicing safer sex with your partners?".

 

[nycguydowntown]

My primary doctor is gay and I like it that way. It's personal but that is what I feel comfortable with.

 

[sixthson]

Luke, would you mind telling us why you care if the doctor knows you are gay or bi?

I think it's good that your doctor knows that about you.

 

[Benvolio]

Luke, would you mind telling us why you care if the doctor knows you are gay or bi?

I think it's good that your doctor knows that about you.

In a perfect world, that would be correct. As it is, some Doctors and nurses may think less of gays and treat them differently. Or, the patient may feel that he is not respected etc.
If you know any gays, I suggest you ask if any Doctors are known to be gay or gay friendly.

 

[cgymike]

^In this day and age why would any doctor be homophobic? Because they know the liability if they are discovered to be as such.

 

[Benvolio]

^In this day and age why would any doctor be homophobic? Because they know the liability if they are discovered to be as such.

Yes, but it will be easy for the patient to conclude that he is being slighted.

 

[Telstra]

If she ask, tell her the truth.
The sky is not going to fall and ask her back about her partner ... etc as a friendly chit chat thing.

 

[Latimer]

It is important and in your own interest that your physician knows your sexual orientation. I've had both straight and gay doctors male and female, and have been comfortable discussing my sexual history and practices (when relevant) with all of them. Rest assured they've heard everything. I currently share a primary care physician--straight--with my partner. We chose him to be our physician because he's a fine doctor. Recently I had a concern about a lump I felt near my anus. In taking a history, one of the doctors I consulted asked what had been up my anus over the last few months and I replied, "nothing other than a hard penis." As it turned out, the lump I felt came from a thrombosis (?) from doing deep squats, and has since disappeared.

Sexual activities do make a difference for straight and gay men. For example, gay men are much more likely to pick up the HPV virus in their anus than straight men--a good reason to investigate getting the vaccine.

 

[mbamike]

When I get tested for HIV/STD, the nurse ask for names, addresses, phone numbers and the type of sex I had with these guys. She says this information is destroyed if the tests come back negative. If the tests were to come back positive, she would contact these guys and tell them to go get tested because a person in their sexual past has tested positive. I get tested at the county health department.

 

[Benvolio]

S

When I get tested for HIV/STD, the nurse ask for names, addresses, phone numbers and the type of sex I had with these guys. She says this information is destroyed if the tests come back negative. If the tests were to come back positive, she would contact these guys and tell them to go get tested because a person in their sexual past has tested positive. I get tested at the county health department.

Some states may require that, but it is more likely just the county. Most states do require notification of sex partners fafter diagnosis of some STDs. I would walk out and look for a less intrusive facility.