Finding Gay Friends in New York?

[BowtieGuy]

So I just moved to the NYC area for school about a month ago.

I'm 21 and in shape and I'm cute I guess. But I have a big issue. I have no friends here, and I don't tend to make good friends easily, as in making the first move, but when I do, I'm an awesome friend.

What I really want is a group of young cool gay FRIENDS to hang out with and have each others back and stuff. Think like Noah on Noah's arc.

The only thing is, the two times I tried to be just friends with another gay guy, they both ended up trying to make a move on me the first chance that we were alone, and they freaked out when I politely and in the most tactful way possible said that I just wanted to be friends.

This recent time, I was even in a RELATIONSHIP for 4 years, and that wasn't a good enough excuse apparently for me not hooking up with this dude.

Are there any other kind-hearted yet fun and young gays out there who are able to maintain a friendship without trying to get into my pants? It's so frustrating and it makes me feel so alone.

I know how that feels like. Seems like there aren't any guys who just want to be guys and hang out. Everything seems to be more about sex out there. A lot of them think that being gay means that you have to jump, hump, pump and dump everything that moves. I was looking for a group of friends to just hang out with, in the last place I lived, but it was about sleeping around and clubbing. It was easier to just be on my own and hang out with straight friends.

That being said, I'm here for you. I got your back!

A

 

[Corny]

how do you find your potential friends? over hook up sites?
yeah .. then most of them will want into your pants. not all of them, if you are patient you can find friends there, too.
but it's better to join some LGBT sports clubs or similar "interest" based groups.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I've met all my best friends through my motorcycle club. bunch of gay guys who like to ride together.. most of us are partnered up and we're just enjoying being friends with guys who share our interests..

 

[altlover85]

What I really want is a group of young cool gay FRIENDS to hang out with and have each others back and stuff. Think like Noah on Noah's arc.

Even Christian and Noah tried to hook up once.

how do you find your potential friends? over hook up sites?
yeah .. then most of them will want into your pants. not all of them, if you are patient you can find friends there, too.
but it's better to join some LGBT sports clubs or similar "interest" based groups.

I don't think he mentioned hookup sites. I agree with your advice though.

 

[Corny]

^ that's why i made it a question. he just mentioned everybody wanting in his pants .. and that made me ask that question

 

[altlover85]

pisces89, I would get out to Manhattan or Williamsburg as soon as you can. There are plenty of clubs there and other activities to do. You are in NYC. Take advantage of it!

 

[Lube]

You can't find gay people in NY?!

Sure, a lot of guys just want to hook up, but two people is a pretty small sample to go by. You might find 1 in 10 that want to be friends. Don't worry about hurting the feelings of the other 9.

 

[Corny]

^ this sounds pretty cool. too bad there is nothing like t his around here

 

[JTEvans]

The New York gay scene can be a little rough. Not only is it hard to meet guys that don't just want to hump you, but most of the guys you meet will probably assume that's all you want. If you're working or in school that can make it easier. I suggest meeting people in a neutral setting rather than anything that's explicitly gay. You're more likely to meet some friendly dudes at your office or in class than you are at a club or a bar.

My ex had a theory that two gay guys can't actually be friends until they've at least seen each other's penis. I dont' really buy that, but I will say that my best gay friends are the ones that i've had some kind of relationship or at least flirtation with. If you haven't already proven that you're not compatible that tension is always there.

 

[billybob109]

It is very easy to be gay in NYC there are millions of people.. And plenty of gay people. Im sure if you do a goggle search you can find thousands of gay hot spots and or networking sites in the city.

 

[megustamyn]

Try the Gay Community Center in New York, http://www.gaycenter.org/. There are affinity groups for just about any interest: politics, arts, business, sports, recovery, you name it. There are also publications listing other groups in the city.

Identity House, http://www.identityhouse.org/, has peer counseling and support groups for gay men. I met a lot of good friends and one lover there.

If you are interested in a church community, Metroploitan Community Church of New York, http://www.mccny.org/index.php, is a great place. I met my husband of 14 years there.

 

[erobert]

Great advice for recent arrivals to NYC (like myself).

It can sometimes be hard to meet potential people to be friends with in New York because 5 out 7 days they're rushing around going about their lives. A city of 8 million can be surprisingly lonely for the uninitiated or shy. Chance meetings are unlikely and hitting the clubs isn't the best idea if you're going alone and don't know the club scene.

Thankfully, there's some great resources here to navigate through to see where to meet like minded guys- the key word being like minded. There's plenty of them here in New York; the problem is finding them.

I'll also suggest meetup.com and yelp.com. While these sites cater more to people in the later twenties/ early thirties they have some good events where you can meet other guys. The chances of meeting someone who's gay or bi in New York are high as by my estimates 35-40% of men in NYC are gay, bi or swing that way.

And pisces89 you're seeking what I'm seeking. It would be nice to have a wing man to go out to clubs and bars with and someone for a platonic friendship. I'm 24 and just moved here. Send me a PM.