Finding out his sexual orientation

[gustischafer]

Hey guys,

Well, this might sound a little bit silly as well as difficult to answer... but I like this guy and as you can imagine I want to know whether he's gay, bi or straight. We haven't hung out that much that's why I can't tell. However, he doesn't seem, you know, absolutely straight, he could be gay or bi. We have been saying that we should grab some coffee sometime, so I think this would be a very nice chance for me to "find out" his sexual orientation.

So what should I do? I obviously cannot ask him if his into men. He'll totally freak out.

By the way, he is about 20 years old.

 

[mbamike]

Try just being his friend first.

 

[Rolyo85]

The only way to know is to tell him YOU are gay, and see how he responds. Other than that not much to do. Plus, you have given us absolutely nothing to go with for any meaningful advice to be given.

 

[KaraBulut]

Normally, I'd say to just ask him. But you've eliminated that option.

Just ask if he's dating someone. If he's straight, he'll say "she", "her", etc.

If he avoids genders, just add a followup question like, "Why did you breakup with him or her?". That usually tells them you're okay with either- whether he is gay or straight.

 

[gustischafer]

Thanks for the advice...

 

[Seasoned]

Be open with him. I do have a caution. If it turns out that he's gay or bi it doesn't necessarily mean he'll want to jump your bones.

 

[bw92116]

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

Well you can do two things, Ask or have him fill out a questionnaire.

 

[TX-Beau]

Are you out?