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Fingering Ur Butthole

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so i heard having a finger up ur ass while u jerk is suppose to feel good, so i did that and man did it feel nice. but i was wondering if anyone else has any other ideas of what i could stick up my hole, so i dont have to use my finger, such as household items that i could easily find
 
just buy yourself a dildo a lot safer :) if you really want to use something else think about these:
a cucumber or other foods
the handle of a vacuum cleaner, but it might be hard to get into position
the end of a hairbrush, toothbrush

when picking something make sure it is smooth and won't hurt you.
put a condom over things that could break so if they do you might be able to use the condom to pull them out.

Really, just buy a dildo :D


another idea: use ice cubes or fill a condom with water and freeze it, if you can't get it out it doesn't matter and the coldness can be fun.
 
I tried fingering once. I felt nothing but a really bad need to..........well, you know.
 
Lukeee said:
...if you really want to use something else think about these:
a cucumber or other foods
the handle of a vacuum cleaner, but it might be hard to get into position
the end of a hairbrush, toothbrush

put a condom over things that could break so if they do you might be able to use the condom to pull them out.

another idea: use ice cubes or fill a condom with water and freeze it, if you can't get it out it doesn't matter and the coldness can be fun.

Wow :? Haha. Just buy a dildo Really.
 
When sticking something up your pooper, it's very important that the base of it be wider then your bung-hole, or it could get lost up there. Think I'm kidding? Check out this hilarious list of things people have gotten lost in Crap Caverns:

A bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an ax handle, a nine-inch zucchini, countless dildoes and vibrators including one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a plastic spatula, a 9-1/2-inch water bottle, a deodorant bottle, a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles, a 3-1/2-inch Japanese glass float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a 100-watt frosted bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver, four rubber balls, 72-1/2 jeweler's saws (all from one patient, but not all at the same time, although 29 were discovered on one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got stuck when it thawed), a ten-inch length of broomstick, an 18-inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a condom, two Vaseline jars, a whiskey bottle with a cord attached, a teacup, an oil can, a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, a six-inch stone weighing two pounds (in the latter two cases the patients died due to intestinal obstruction), a baby powder can, a test tube, a ball-point pen, a peanut butter jar, candles, baseballs, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a flashlight, a half-filled tobacco pouch, a turnip, a pair of eyeglasses, a hard-boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses, a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink, and much, much more.

Taken from an article on the Straight Dope, Is it true what they say about gerbils?. The original question wuz whether anyone had ever lost a gerbil up there, a la Richard Gere.

So embarrassing to describe to the nurse at the emergency room, much less put on your insurance forms. Save yourself the trouble, there's lots of specifically designed toys for this available discreetly from any online sex toy store. Anal probes, anal beads, prostate ticklers, etc etc.

Cucumbers, bananas, and dildos [really Firefox? Dildos aren't in your spelling dictionary?] are contra-recommended, as the lack of base (unless you get the kind with realistic balls) means that once it goes in it may take Dr. Dontfeelsogood to get it back out again. Awkward...
 
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