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First anything? Nervous

T

teaparty55

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Hey guys. I've never really told anyone but I've never had any sexual encounters in my life. The most i've ever done was kiss a girl at a camp when I was younger and was so afraid I ignored her for days, eventually leading her breaking up with me. Now, that was like 6-7 years ago but at the time I still being really attracted to older men. I'm 20 now and still a virgin but I've been getting tired of that so I tried joining a sex/dating site for heaver guys (I'm sorta heavy but hitting the gym lately to fix it) and after posting a pic, actually got a flirt or two from some older men. Now, he's even gone and messaged me.

The first thought that someone was interested in me actually made me kinda happy for once. The thing is, I'm freaked to death over what to do. I mean, where do I go from here? I wanna respond but don't know if I should in case my mind changes or I freak out over what's next.

Maybe I think I'm just really self conscious about my body and the act of sex itself. When I was getting heavier over the past 2 years, my body sorta got a few....stretch marks is how I put it. along with some back acne that I'm trying to clear up, I fear what this person who could be my first, think of me if they are open to more. The strange thing is, when I go to the gym, I have no fear being fully nude around tons of older guys and even sitting in a hot tube with them nude. Then there's another part too, I fear that I'd be so unsatisfatory to someone as I'd probably release just by them touching me as I've never really done anything before. I'm excited just by the idea of what could happen and what could not happen.

I don't know why I keep ranting, sorry if this is too long.

Edit:okay, not a minute after this post, I responded to one person. My first anything at all, I'm nervous as heck right now.
 
Thanks. I've been messaging him now for 20 minutes or so. It's sorta getting easier. I've just never thought someone could consider my body "hot" if you know what I mean?
 
I know what you mean. I actually hadnt done anything, not even kissing, until last year (I am 22). I was nervous as hell, and didnt know what I was doing. Frankly its still new to me, but personally I think you just have to work with the nerves and I think they can make it that much more exciting. Especially if you are with someone that would be willing to work with you. Ultimitely just enjoy it and stay safe!
 
Thanks for the advice. He offered anytime if I wanna have fun or do something he's down! I think i'm gonna take the jump.
 
Go out on a limb, extend yourself...try it because you haven't done it before. Don't let your mind play tricks on you and allow yourself to have fun. ..|
 
I will. We've been trading pics and stuff now. I'm really enjoying it. Unfortunately, we cannot meet until I am done with the semester in like 15 days so it's gonna be hell waiting but maybe getting to know him over this time is better
 
teaparty55 said:
I will. We've been trading pics and stuff now. I'm really enjoying it. Unfortunately, we cannot meet until I am done with the semester in like 15 days so it's gonna be hell waiting but maybe getting to know him over this time is better
Click to expand...

Sounds like a great plan. Good luck buddy.
 
I've got another question. Who do know I should and shouldn't respond to if I'm getting messages from different people/age groups, etc?? I feel bad if I don't respond but sometimes it's someone I'm just not attracted to asking for a friendship or chat, etc.... but I don't know what their real intentions are unless i'm wrong and if I'm mistaken, I'm sorry as I don't fully understand this yet.
 
I have been big all my life so I understand your fear about being rejected. I am just now at the age of 29 lost a lot of weight & feel comfortable. There are plenty of guys that your weight is not a problem & it sounds like you found one. If you are going to bottom for your first time just clean & relax, that is my biggest advice from my own experience. experience. I was so afraid & tight it made the experience not as good as it could have been.

For your second question, that is a matter or preference. I find honest is the best, if you are not interested simply tell the guy in a polite way. Some sites have scammers on there so don't give out personal info like banking or credit card info to anyone. The only other thing I would add maybe obvious but know their HIV status & practice safe sex. Some people will lie about that so you need to look out for yourself.

Just so people don't think I am being rude to HIV positive people, I have dated a guy for over a year who is positive & I am not.
 
Most people you're worried about being rude to. Please don't worry about them. They're only really interested in one thing and I find are usually only nice so that they can get it. Afterwards, they don't keep the facade up for long.

Hope it all goes well, my first few times were traumatic, but necessary. Also, for not thinking you could be seen as attractive, I felt the very same way until I was told by enough guys that they wanted me. Consider just how many people on those sites and in person have said they want to sleep with you, you're attractive!

I guess, if you really needed to you could post a picture of your face on the appropriate thread in the hot-topics section of the forum. I do that when I'm feeling insecure and they guys really make me feel at ease. I understand why someone wouldn't want to do that though.
 
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