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First BJ: the good, the bad, and the ugly

E

erikishere

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It could be possible that you got too used to your own hand, but that could be fixed. Stop masturbating for about two or three weeks and you will regain sensitivity. Alot of jacking off can make it really difficult to cum through oral stimulation. Also, when you do masturbate, try to be more gentle instead of gripping and beating...which is awfully tempting when you are pleasuring yourself, lol.
 
i agree with erikishere; just hold off on the jackin' for a while and if u must choke the chicken try not to strangle it lol :D
 
Oh hell yes, taking a 2-3 week "break" is HARD! Omg, especially if you're not having sex during that time. That first orgasm you have after that "break" will be one to remember, though. lol
 
Yes, since yoru cock had been "conditioned" to the way you do yourself, it is hard to have someone else stimulate you in the same way. If your mate is interested in you and you him, then I suggest that you practice practice practice TOGETHER. Teach him how to pleasure you ,and you know what? It will happen....much better than not masterbating for weeks!
 
If you love having him do it, but you're not orgasming, that's not a problem as far as I'm concerned. When you're ready, ask him to move down to your balls, and finish yourself off. I love rubbing myself when someone's licking my balls - but hey, maybe that's just me. :)

Of course, as others have suggested, do do do tell him what you want. More suction? More play with the tip and less on the shaft? Faster? More nut play? He won't know if you won't tell him. And it's such fun learning. :)

Lex
 
OK N, here it is for all of JUB to see. :D


Guess what? My first time with a guy I didn't cum either. Even though I was rock hard, I was so fucking nervous I thought my cock was gonna fall off. I finished myself off, and I don't think I've came that much in a long long time. It is NORMAL!! Do not let this freak you out, especially if you plan on meeting him again.

And, its a good thing you didn't cum when he was sucking you off. That can me two things (hopefully the latter) 1) He sucked at giving BJ's or 2) it was just that good that you didn't want it to end!

The jerking off thing could be something that you are used to, yes. BUT, and especially if it happens again (or again and again) you WILL become acclimated to it. How were the surroundings? Does he live with his parents? Were you scared that they could come in? Or your parents for that matter?

Sorry for all the probing questions. I know you will do fine. You are a fantastic person and it can only get better from here. Not to mention your orgasms!!

Good luck!

:wave: :wave:

..|
 
Oral sex is a very complex issue.

Even very experienced men cannot always come due to oral simulation. The good thing is that guys with loads of experience also know that. You are just now acquiring your experience. Give yourself some time and cut yourself some slack, too.

It is perfectly OK not to come after a guy gave you a BJ.

Consider this:

This was your very first time with this guy. You are not used to his technique and he really does not know what 'floats your boat'. Both of you are still learning the ropes. Guide him, teach him and tell him what works best for you. Which speed and which suction is right for you? Do you need a break ever so often? Whatever is your own little idiosyncracy.

You have worked yourself up into a bit of stress by remembering that during your first session, he got hard from external rubbing and you did not. That little memory now kinda worked against you and added a load of 'performance stress' onto your already shaken shoulders. Performance stress is your enemy. You are together with another male. He understands.

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I live an open relationship and have several FBs in different cities I frequent on business or for pleasure. I am a total top and love receiving good BJs.

One of my FBs is a perfectly toned, cute, tall late 20s MD dude. He gets on his knees, places his hands on my hips and starts sucking. He can do absolutely anything. So far, he made me come, just for fun in under 3 minutes. (Agewise, I could be your Dad.) Like I said, he does if for me. He normally likes to do it for 30-45 minutes. Trust me, I have absolutely no say in any of this. He does as he pleases. I yet have to see a guy as good as he is. For him, this is about the total control he exerts, while on his knees before me.

Another dude I know genuinely gives a wicked head, too. He however needs my fulltime participation. He needs to be guided and told what to do. At times, he needs to be properly face-fucked. For him it is all about communication and joint effort.

Every guy out there is slightly different. And you will always respond in a slightly different fashion to each and every guy. Even with your present BF, every day is slightly different...you feel different and you want a different kind of attention.

So, I'd say: 'Lean back and enjoy the ride'. Nothin' to worry about.

SC
 
I'd say it was nerves. If it was just the death grip, you would have had no trouble getting yourself off afterwards. Stop worrying so much about getting off. You both had a nice, pleasurable time. If you cum, you cum. If you don't, you don't. It's certainly not the end of the world.

Also, I'm not sure why so many people build their expectations of their first time so high. Since when has anybody been the best at anything their first time trying to do it? Again, if you had a nice time consider it a success. Fortunately, there's nowhere to go but up from here. Plus, remember that practice makes perfect :D
 
It's nerves. I've had the same problem (not with getting hard, but taking too long to cum). It'll get better as you get more comfortable with eachother.
 
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