^ That's one of the good things about the metric system. 11.3 is much more bragworthy than 4 1/2.
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Guess its just not in me. Gave it my damnedest today. Hubby is out with my best friend so I flew solo, loved myself for 3.5 hours (never lasted longer than 1 solo or +1, 2, however many) and it was an extreme orgasm. I'm feeding the mood with the devil's lettuce, ultra elite sexy r&b from 70s 80s 90s playlist booming out the speakers, my best friend forgot his bottle of hennesey at my house so I helped myself to a shot or 15.
A bij is feeling toasty amazing third eye open I'm seeing the face of Jesus (he doesnt look like Brad Pitt as per usual depiction, more like Ewan McGregor. I'll get on my knees and pray to Ewan McGregor Jesus 20x a day)
this was the orgasm to end them all for me. This o has beef with all my other o's for being weak trash. This o has a 401k. This o can sing opera in 7 different languages. This o broke Chuck Norris' nose in a bar fight in 1993. And Chuck Norris sent an apology bouquet for his nose getting in this o's way.
This o plays air guitar so well Jimi Hendrix rose from the dead to have a jam session at Madison Square Garden with this o at 3am. By the time they were done jamming they had sold out the building (management called in all staff and opened the building early as per jimi fucking Hendrix and this o) and just before they left, people being turned away per capacity had begun to assault, beg and bribe the box office cashiers for admittance.
A 48 year old man is facing arson charges for setting a security guard's car on fire. Before arresting officers tucked his head into the vehicle he shouted "NO REGRETS! LONG LIVE JIMI HENDRIX AND THIS O! ***FUCK 12!"
As the final destination approached Im pumping my cheeks, maximized angle, position et cetera for some fireworks and still... No shooting. I'll never forget my first shooter. I'm giving him all kinda of sloppy toppy in his car and he warned me to move my head and proceeds to shoot the largest load I ever seen in person and its everywhere all over his seat mine dashboard glove compartment name it girl. I was like "my *n do you have a beach towel handy or 4 rolls of paper towels cuz this shit is everywhere" (except, somehow, our clothes.![]()
*the term of endearment I am censored from using though trolls can and do call me that in all ways but directly every time I log on
**may be remembering incorrectly, I distinctly remember being glad it didn't get on MY t-shirt and jeans cuz I was wearing the cutest outfit in the universe, but he may have gotten some on his leather jacket. Leather's easy to clean so it wouldn't have been a big deal and I'd be less like to remember the incident. BUT that is totally the sorta thing I'd tease him about forever if it did happen so I'm not sure. Sigh.
#thedevilslettuce
***12 is an urban colloquialism for police

ps: sis why didn't you do a poll to see who shoots vs dribbles? If u wanna be super thorough you'd also separate by cut/uncut but thats just if you wanna be super thorough. I'm uncut fyi
I should have, shouldn't I?

That reminds me I need to clean the ceiling fan in the bedroom.

