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    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

first time advice

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Pollux

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Hey Guys, not sure if this posting here is right.

I'm into older men and I'll have my first time soon. I want to know if there's anything I've to watch out for before, while and afterwards.

I told the person that it's my first time and he was really kind. He told me not to worry, that he wont do anything I don't want to. I really appreciate that. But still I'm nervous and need some advice.

Somthing to me: 22 yo, passive.

Thanks in advance :-)
 
Welcome to the forum. It seems you have your bases covered. Play safe and hold him to his word. Here's hoping its a good experience and fun.
 
hi Pollux,

Welcome as well to this forum and feel free to ask any question you would like to ask.

I was wondering if you have already met him in real life? If this is not the case, I would suggest you to arrange the first meeting in a public area with alot of other people and during day light. This will give both of you the opportunity to have some small talk with each other and get a first impression of each other when meeting in real life for the first time. I mean, people can be different in real life compared how they behave in cyber.

Depending on the situation, you might think about starting with drinking some coffee (or something else) whilst talking about a variety of things. And all to get some sort of idea how he is when he is in real life together with you.

Definately, don't do anything you would not like to do, and do follow your 'guts' when you get the idea that things don't go like you think they should go.

Don't hesitate to stop or to finish the 'meeting' (date?) when you really feel uncomfortable and/or unsafe.

Likely, he is just a nice and a friendly guy, so all will go smooth and you will have a great time.

Take care and good luck.
 
1. Depending on where this is gonna take place, check out the surroundings first off...(do you feel comfortable? Is there a secret camera in the corner? Where is the exit?) lol
2. Take your time, take plenty of deep breaths to calm yourself and enjoy everything..from touching to tasting and everything in between ;)
3. KNOW YOUR LIMITS
4. Try not to feel embarrassed or that you need to be good at it the first time
5. Enjoy; you only get one "first time" ..|
 
Yeah, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if you've never met this person before in real life...don't just go off with them and have sex! I don't know which country you're from, but all too often you hear stories about people on the news who trusted a virtual stranger and ended up kidnapped or dead. I'm not saying this man is a killer, or that you shouldn't trust people...but you always, always put your safety first.

Now, if you know this person in real life and have developed a relationship and are now going to take that relationship to the bedroom, that's something else. Definitely go slow. If you feel nervous or scared or uncomfortable, just take a break. Sex isn't going anywhere :) It'll be there tomorrow or the day after if you need some time.

I guess you should also try and make sure you've prepared yourself for the questions you might ask, or feelings you might have afterwards. Typical questions are: does this person really care about me? Did we both go into it with the same expectations, or did it mean more to him than me/more to me than him? Did I jump too quickly into sex?

Too many people have regrets about their first time, because it turns out the other person had been lying to them, or maybe they just went into it for the wrong reasons. Try to think it all out beforehand so you go into confident you've made the right call :)
 
hey, I really thank you guys! :)

I'm living in Germany. I met him in real, it was by hazard I would say :D I ordered a bike courier and suddenly he stood in front of me.

Later that day I received an email from him that he wants to meet me. I said yes and we had several dates, where we got to know each other better.

We decided that we just want to have sex, nothing more. He said he won't push me, that he'll be waiting till I'm ready.

I really thank you guys a lot :)

and excuse me for my english :D
 
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