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First time went badly - what to do now?

S

Synergise

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Basically, I had my first experience with a guy earlier this afternoon. He's a friend who was interested, and I like him too... he's made it clear he's not looking for a relationship, and that's fine for me too. He's not been with a guy before either (only girls), but I haven't been with anyone.

Unfortunately, I was sucking him off for a couple of minutes, then he had to stop and say that he was a bit uncomfortable because his dick was scraping against my teeth. I hadn't even realised, I actually thought it was going pretty well. I was already incredibly nervous and not sure if doing something was the right thing to do (i.e. bad for our friendship) , and I don't know why, but I panicked and had to call things off.

Right now I'm annoyed with myself, and I don't know what's the best thing to do. I'm not sure if I want to try anything with him again, and if I don't, I don't want to have ruined a friendship. I'm just in a bit of a mess :(
 
Basically, it's like learning how to ride a bike. You fall down and get back on. Sex is instinctive but technique has to be learned and then adjusted for each partner. No need to feel shame because you scraped your first partner with your teeth.
 
laugh it off. tell your friend you want to practice and keep trying until you get it right! how can he refuse?

the best thing you can do with any new partner, whether you are experienced or not, is to ask how this/that feels or what he likes/dislikes (without too much chatter) and pick up on signals...is he moaning or flinching...ya know? everyone has different likes/dislikes, and you don't know until you ask. It's ok to talk a bit during sex. it's also ok to laugh and have fun too...
 
Just learn from the experience, I don't think it's a big deal.

The first guy I was with just let me know my teeth was in the way the first time I did it, and you just learn to wrap your lips around it.
 
we all have awkward/embarassing/regrettable sex experiences. especially early in our sexual history... but i have them still every now and then *._.

its no big deal. and you can look forward to many more of those awkward/embarassing/regrettable sex experiences. just laugh it off, make a mental note for next time.

as for the friendship, that also depends on the other guy... but i think "ok, that was awkward haha, lets just pretend it never happened" is the right attitude. the more relaxed you are about it, and the more youre willing to just move on, the more likely it is that the friendship survives.
 
jaysizzles said:
laugh it off. tell your friend you want to practice and keep trying until you get it right! how can he refuse?

the best thing you can do with any new partner, whether you are experienced or not, is to ask how this/that feels or what he likes/dislikes (without too much chatter) and pick up on signals...is he moaning or flinching...ya know? everyone has different likes/dislikes, and you don't know until you ask. It's ok to talk a bit during sex. it's also ok to laugh and have fun too...
Click to expand...

^^^
This. No one is perfect their first time... it takes practice.
Get up, dust yourself off, and get back up on that horse.
 
Well, I kind of took to dick-sucking like a duck to water, but I do, on the other hand, remember one time I was a little tipsy and left my partner high and dry. He unforgettably shouted at me, "just like a frigid bitch," and that was a fight-and-a-half. Heck, how was I supposed to know some people get lover's nuts? I later found out that some people regard that as a capital offense for a budding relationship.

Also embarrassing was my first time at being the receptive partner for anal sex. It was a flop. I was hot and ready, but my last partner was unfortunately kind of hung like a horse. I am also a little bit tender-assed before we've gotten started and in a rhythm. Before I even knew what I was doing, I was jumping forward and saying, "okay, stop, stop, stop." I didn't want to say "stop," but it pretty much ruined that love-making session. Intellectually, I wanted to try again. My instincts, though, were saying, "not no, but HELL no."

Eventually, I had to come to grips with the plain and simple reality that I need a little bit of preparation before doing that sort of thing, and I also needed to gain some experience about how to position the curvature of my spine. Where dick-sucking seemed to be what I as made for, taking butt-sex took me a bit of practice.

But the main thing you have to be conscious of is that different men have different sensitivities. Did you know that? My cock apparently has relatively few nerve-endings. I actually prefer a little bit of teeth to keep me stimulated. The skin on it is tough and thick as dicks go. However, I understand that some men are incredibly sensitive there. I'm really kind of jealous, actually. I really have difficulty keeping it up when I'm inside of another guy because of my low sensitivity.

However, what makes you a good lover is being willing to learn the sensitivities of your partner. Learn his unique "buttons to push." Learn what buttons not to push. That's the joy of having either a partner for a casual, carnally-oriented relationship or a true life partner. When you have mastered one man's unique body, you can do amazing things for him.

Therefore, try it again with the same guy. Just give it a try if he is open to it. I swear that everybody has these embarrassing experiences, and it should never be a basis on which to call off a relationship.
 
I knew a guy who was generally awesome in bed and so very experience--EXCEPT for that no one ever told him his teeth got in the way when he gave head. All it took was an NBD bit of instant feedback and now he gives the most amazing head. We're not mind readers and feedback makes us all better. :)
 
Sex is like everything else. The more you do it and practice, the better you get.

As for your friend, go talk to him. There is nothing to be ashamed about.

Also, do a little bit of research. How to suck Dick.
 
My experience has been that when you plan for sex explicitly, especially in the initial inexperienced stages, nerves are just too much to handle. Not for everyone, but for me. What I'd rather do is have a "movie night" with the guy, drink a bit of red wine (not get wasted, just buzzed), and then go for it. You both know that's the goal from the get go, but you fluff it up with the pretense for other activity, and ironically, things happen more naturally.

I see no reason why you shouldn't try with the same guy.
 
^ haha, reminds of that one time i went home to a guy "to watch a movie". once i arrived, he said "so, i have spider-man, and the artist, and..." and i was "oh wait, were actually gonna watch a movie?" at which point he jumped my bone.

uhm... my point is, its good advice :)
 
Thanks for the advice guys :)

We've talked and he's fine with things and wants to go for it again. I feel a lot more relaxed about it all now, so we'll definitely meet up again and give it another go. I was definitely nervous, and I think as I started to relax, my mouth was opening up more and exposing my teeth too much. I just need to keep things under control a bit more next time :p
 
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