first trip to the gay bar

[yuengling]

I'm still battling a bit with the whole idea of being gay but I've only looked at gay porn for the past year solely and the best kiss in my life was with a guy. (and I 've kissed plenty of girls which is why chemistry is so weird, how things just click).
Anyhow there's been two guys in my life who I've fallen for really hard in the last three months but I'm pretty confident they are straight so because of the advice on the forums I went to a gaybar.
Sigh....it was a fairly friendly environment and I talked to a couple of guys but its just kind of frustrating when your walking up to a gay bar for the first time and the first thing you hear is the "um-siht-um-siht" techno shit. Hell, why not at least play "rock lobster" .

 

[treanir]

It takes some time to get used to the 'gay bar' phenomenon. I still have issues with the music (it's so not my thing), but I've learned to ignore it most of the time. Of course, if you're in a large city you could try another gay bar to see what kind of music and atmosphere they have. I'm glad you talked to a few guys though - next time you go there, you know people, which makes it a lot easier to have fun (and forget about the thumpa-thumpa).

for you. Keep going out and have fun!

 

[slickery]

It's the thumpa thumpa of all gay bars.

It's part of our culture, embrace it.

That or go to another gay bar that doesn't constantly spin the most recent ministry of sound album.

 

[briefboy86]

when i was in canada, there was a gay bar that was playing metal! now thats what im talking about!! but sadly its only a 7 hour drive... lol and at least for me that whole gay bar really isnt my gig because of what you said.. its the music.. but i think if you go and make some friends, maybe hit up a less... um gay bar... lol with better music...

 

[yuengling]

Granted I only talked to three people but all the lads in the bar looked rather feminine and flamboyant and that's not really what I'm into.

I'm not looking for an overtly masculine guy or anything just an average guy. Its just a little disheartening when you feel like your walking into a living breathing stereotype.and on top of that I keep falling for guys that turn out to be straight.
There's got to be some in between right?
this sucks....

 

[treanir]

^ Yes, they're there, but it's not really easy to find them. The extremely flamboyant ones tend to stand out, which is why they're the stereotype.

 

[M4P]

You need to scout out some different bars. Larger cities will have different types of bars. It sounds like you hit a dance bar and if that isn't your gig look for other choices - some are pubs with pool tables, there are leather bars, leather & Levi bars, country bars and others are like cafes. What I'm trying to say is not all gay bars are the same and each will attract a different crowd. Keep trying and you'll find yours

 

[yuengling]

The main problem is when I kiss a girl its not that exciting. Then I'll hang out with a straight guy and fall for him. This rightly so makes me think I'm gay but then I go out to a gay bar and I don't feel like I want anything to do with that scene and I am just so damn frustrated cause I don't feel like i fully fit in anywhere..
I just want a guy that reads and doesn't act too flamboyant, but not macho. Just your average guy.
Come on what's the percentage of gay guys that are like this? I'm starting to think its around 5 percent.
There's three gay bars in my town. Two are dance type bars and one is for old folks. one of the dance bars though does have pool tournaments and such so maybe its more up my alley although all the gay bars in question have drag queen performers. Is that pretty typical?

 

[rareboy]

A gay bar isn't the only place to meet other gay guys, but if you're into pool, then go on the nights they have the tournaments and you'll likely meet other guys with similar tastes.

 

[treanir]

There's three gay bars in my town. Two are dance type bars and one is for old folks. one of the dance bars though does have pool tournaments and such so maybe its more up my alley although all the gay bars in question have drag queen performers. Is that pretty typical?

In my opinion, sorta. But don't be fooled: drag performances are surprisingly good fun. And I too am not into the entire campy queeny scene you find in some gay bars. Anyway, like people above said: go to a pool tournament. See if you like it there. For some gay bars, the crowd differs per night.

If you don't mind my asking, are you in Germany by any chance? (username seems to indicate that)

 

[mc18yng]

I feel the same way.