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Fitting In - Masculinity and Accepting Myself

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Hey everyone,

I'm in a tough spot with my sexual orientation. On one hand, I feel attracted to men and enjoy being physical to men but I'm having a hard time stating that I'm gay, because I feel there is a part of me interested in women (at least sexually and have had a female love interest). However, I feel that's it hard meeting men I click with in order to explore my feelings. A lot of this is due to not being able to find masculine guys (I know this will open a can of worms but scree it) and meeting guys that come across as "effeminate" (tone of voice / mannerisms). My parents and sister probably think I'm gay (that's another subject) but I can't tell them because I don't KNOW what I am. I know I'm just a human who's horny and likes sex lmao. But seriously I'm having a hard time fitting in and trying to date. Sorry if this is confusing.

Any help is appreciated - thanks
 
Understandable. Have you ever considered a "bromance"? So called straight friends who occasionally have sex.

Maleness and femaleness is a complicated matter, and it's different for everyone. Some guys who seem hot before you know them, suddenly don't seem so rough and tough now after having sex with them.

But I think as a rule, you deserve to have awesome amazing sex. And that either means upping your standards, or learning to appreciate the guy better.
 
Self-identification is a personal choice. Usually I dislike this route profoundly, but in your particular case I would say that if you are attracted to men, you can safely accept that while it's not clear what you are, it's clear you AREN'T straight. Which is totally fine. I would say, why not come out as bisexual? Being out allows you to VASTLY expand your dating life and venues for meeting people, relieves you of fear and paranoia in terms of who finds out, and because it's not some legally binding contract, you can always change your "official" orientation to gay down the line, if you decide that's what you are.

There is no contradiction between liking girls and being gay. Despite what the popular image might be, MOST gay men have *some* attraction to women. It's just not sufficiently comparable to their attraction to men to merit the identification of bisexuality (although that doesn't stop many of them and they still identify as "bi". Which, while I find it misleading, is their choice). If you are honest with yourself, you will quickly realize what you prefer. Either way, my advice is, take steps to make it clear to the world that you like dudes. You sound sufficiently young, so nobody will hold it against you if you change your mind later ;) Though I doubt you will.
 
Well, it seems that you have two choices:
  1. Continue pondering who you are.
  2. Get out there and find out who you are.
 
I think he's asking for a dom to take charge so he doesn't need to think so hard about it.

Personally I don't trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die.
 
You don't state your age but I'm going to guess you're youngish. My only advice is to date both sexes and explore all options, not just for sex, but relationships too. If yoh live in an urban area seek out males of your liking in the gay community and go from there, or try on line for your area as well. Don't be so quick to define yourself just yet. If you suspect that your family thinjs you're gay, then just admit that you are questioning and leave it at that. They may be a source of great support, so use them. Best of luck!
 
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