Flamboyant/Str8 Acting Gay Men

[KrisHawkXXX]

Somebody accused me of trying to be str8.. Not naming names.. but this topic does open a good discussion as I've seen it discussed here before by other members.. and it can create a good constructive discussion

To the person accusing me.. when did I say being in love with my sk8board made me str8? I took up some hobbies this year so i could focus less on drama. I also took up cooking, building computers, and paying attention to the political agenda around me. I dont see why one hobby had to piss one person off on JUB and he had to call me a poser.. so if a gay man takes up a certain hobby in particular.. he can't get into something new so he can enjoy life? Get over yourself.

I never said I was ashamed of being gay. Some gay men are naturally flamboyant for their own reasons.. not counting transgendered MTF. On the other hand I don't see why some people act like a stereotypical flammer for attention.. I user to do it.. to get a reaction out of people.. but when I got a job... (not the porn job) I got so busy with work and came home.. and was just myself. Subconsciously I was acting more flamboyant to identify with being gay.. but normally I sound just like an average male.. not sounding gay or str8.. Im my own person.


I knew one gay wrestler that was really proud of his job.. but he was a closet case.. (small community wrestling organization.) They found out he was gay.. they got rid of him for a stupid reason.. He went towards a downward spiral in his life and blew all his friends off. A Year later I saw him and he became a typical label by society called a flammer. He hated himself based on how others judged him... so he started changing his tone of voice and got really loud like Lucy ... (Forgot her last name.. she had a black and white tv show..) He went into an apple store and they forgot something on the receipt.. he held his hands on his hips and said, "GIRL DONT MESS WITH THIS BITCH."

Now the point to the story is.. He wasn't like that before.. he was finding his own way to get attention by being so "Gay Acting" which wasn't necessary when he was fine the way he was before.. If he was like that when I first met him.. I wouldnt care.. but his REASONS for it were just annoying. I still talk to him.. hes calmed down.. accepted hes gay... he doesnt talk with a lisp any longer or doesnt hold his hands on his hips.

Gay people put labels on themselves.. and they go out in public and without realizing it act "flamboyant" on purpose because they like the feeling they get from others and they have to acknowledge they are gay to the world so they feel accepted.

I don't think anyone should try to act or sound like anything.... they should be themselves.. and be the person they wanna be... if you're not happy with your personality.. its a sign... its not a bad thing to develop new qualities that are positive and learn new things about yourself. Broaden your horizons.. this goes for gay and str8 people.. male and female.

 

[SilverWolf]

People accuse people acting Straight, Gay, Flamboyant, Macho for whatever reason because people are stupid. People deliberately act Macho, Straight, Flamboyant, Gay because they have their own issues. They have their own issues, project their beliefs onto other people, fear any sort of change in their lives and around it...you name it, they got a reason

But still, people (of all different orientations and countries and races) are stupid because they fear the unknown and fear difference and fear changes. Until they are stop being stupid and learn that that their nothing to fear from being different, nobody and nothing being harmed by being yourself, just ignore them

Which is why you ignore the idiotic people and treasure the few people that got some common sense

 

[GayHunting]

Why do you care so much that you'd take the time to write all of that?

If someone says something about you that doesn't apply just let it go...that's a much better use of your time.

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

People accuse people acting Straight, Gay, Flamboyant, Macho for whatever reason because people are stupid. People deliberately act Macho, Straight, Flamboyant, Gay because they have their own issues. They have their own issues, project their beliefs onto other people, fear any sort of change in their lives and around it...you name it, they got a reason

But still, people (of all different orientations and countries and races) are stupid because they fear the unknown and fear difference and fear changes. Until they are stop being stupid and learn that that their nothing to fear from being different, nobody and nothing being harmed by being yourself, just ignore them

Which is why you ignore the idiotic people and treasure the few people that got some common sense

Thanks.

And like I said I dont hate gay men that are flamboyant.. Even the ones that people consider "Str8-Acting" have moments that are flamboyant.. even str8 men themselves have moments that might be considered the stereotype of being gay. But we shouldnt place labels.

Ive used the term "Flammers" on JUB towards bitchy people that act like highschool girls that hang out in a clique because they think THEIR SHIT DOESN'T STINK.

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

Why do you care so much that you'd take the time to write all of that?

If someone says something about you that doesn't apply just let it go...that's a much better use of your time.

Anything is a better use of our time.. When we post ANYTHING on jub.. we waste our time.. lol. We come here when bored and to bullshit.. thats what its for.

 

[SilverWolf]

Anything is a better use of our time.. When we post ANYTHING on jub.. we waste our time.. lol. We come here when bored and to bullshit.. thats what its for

And some of us come to look at your pics
Well at least I do sometimes...

 

[scains]

Oh for goodness sake! More threads on the same subject?


Listen, I like men - I don't fucking care whether you're queeny, macho or cross-dresser.

Get over it!

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

Oh for goodness sake! More threads on the same subject?


Listen, I like men - I don't fucking care whether you're queeny, macho or cross-dresser.

Get over it!

I dont care either.. But i dont like being judged for being my own person in life and trying to find myself.. i am young.. I don't have as much life experience as others.. I have the right to live and learn.. and discover new things.. I shouldnt get shit for it.

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

Honey, you could be in an room full with naked girls and having sex with them and I would still think you're gay.

You've got good gaydar. I am mostly into men.. have some girl crushes from time to time since i was a kid.. its not very often.. Im more towards men though.. and thats something only I can say for myself.. but I do like boys for the majority.

See what you said was very respectful.. you came in.. gave your opinion.. and have some respect for someone else. GOD why can't others be like you

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

Are you rolling again? How much pot have you been smoking today?

You're not making sense.

I haven't smoked since that post I made which was a week ago i thnk

 

[scains]

I dont care either.. But i dont like being judged for being my own person in life and trying to find myself.. i am young.. I don't have as much life experience as others.. I have the right to live and learn.. and discover new things.. I shouldnt get shit for it.

You're contradicting yourself, you obviously DO care else you wouldn't have started this thread or be concerned that you were being judged. You're always being judged - doesn't matter where you are... sorry to disappoint you.

 

[GayHunting]

I dont care either.. But i dont like being judged for being my own person in life and trying to find myself.. i am young.. I don't have as much life experience as others.. I have the right to live and learn.. and discover new things.. I shouldnt get shit for it.

You don't like being judge? Well...sorry



You're going to need to get over that.

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

You're contradicting yourself, you obviously DO care else you wouldn't have started this thread or be concerned that you were being judged. You're always being judged - doesn't matter where you are... sorry to disappoint you.

Well not necessarily. As humans we judge others.. we do it sometimes to be professional.. especially when running a company for example. We HAVE to be judgmental. In other cases.. We are with friends and we try to get along.. we don't judge others. One thing of wisdom from the bible that made sense.. Don't judge others..

I personally think people judge others so they dont have to focus on themselves.. they feel amused by it. It gives others power and makes them feel superior.

The purpose of this thread was to talk about a major issue that was always discussed ANYWAY. But this was was more interesting to ME simply because I myself was involved of being judged. This is a forum.. I come here to Vent. I have an outside life that I manage on my own. This is just fun. Anything anyone posts here is for fun.. advice.. or discussion.

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

Oh, you.

It's not my fault you can't read, so i'm going to explain this to you slowly, ok? Since the post is OBVIOUSLY about me, it's only fair i answer in kind.

I said - and now i'm quoting:



Now, here's the part where i explain this statement. Ready?

For all your provado, for all your gusto, you are CONSTANTLY calling people that don't agree with you, or you don't like, "bitchy queens" and "fucking fags" and all sorts of variations of the insult reserved for gay men, done to draw a special amount of ire at feminine men. I don't really need to do a search to prove it, you can go right to the thread that came before this to see it yourself.

But you call people this, as if to elevate yourself above feminine men in their entirety, when really, if we're going to call a spade a spade, your look can be seen to unknowing eye as feminine, and so, you really don't have room to talk about people like that. This was my point - has always been my point when you dare call someone a "bitchy fag" on here in defense of yourself.

But of course, you decided to focus on the word str8 and run with it, missing the meat for the bone - even glossing over the fat! I'm not shocked, i'm just slightly annoyed.

This is exactly what I'm talking about in the gay community.. the flamming stereotypical bitchy behavior... I've posted in forums with mainly str8 conservatives and have been openly gay.. some didn't like me for being gay.. I ignored them... most were pretty much decent people.. we focused on the issues we liked to talk about.. and had good times.

Anytime I've come to a forum that targets a gay audience.. this is usually how it ends up eventually.. People get mad and bitch at me... and prove my point and then stalk my posts and wait to find another "fault" in my words because it gets them excited. They like the drama..


No you dont need a search.. because I admit I've said the term flammer before. As for old threads.... I was a different person and i've gone thru some shit.. Im a much different person then last year.

I admit I am not always right.. but your need to lecture me every time is annoying. I know people on here that will actually take side to this and agree. In this thread I even stated I had nothing against anyone who acted like their own true self.. to be happy. That's the only people we should be.. is ourselves. We sometimes need to take time and reorganize our goals and who we wanna be especially someone my own age.

You bitch at me and cause the thread to become an argument.. because yes I am going to defend myself.. I have pride in who I am.. unlike most people. I love the progress I've made in the past year because I did it on my own. Then if someone has anything positive to say.. they walk away and post nothing because you ruined the thread to begin with.

I am asking you nicely.. please stay out of my threads.. I wont mention you.. ill stay out of yours.. dont mention me or make comments about me. Thank you

 

[scains]

Well not necessarily. As humans we judge others.. we do it sometimes to be professional.. especially when running a company for example. We HAVE to be judgmental. In other cases.. We are with friends and we try to get along.. we don't judge others. One thing of wisdom from the bible that made sense.. Don't judge others..

I personally think people judge others so they dont have to focus on themselves.. they feel amused by it. It gives others power and makes them feel superior.

The purpose of this thread was to talk about a major issue that was always discussed ANYWAY. But this was was more interesting to ME simply because I myself was involved of being judged. This is a forum.. I come here to Vent. I have an outside life that I manage on my own. This is just fun. Anything anyone posts here is for fun.. advice.. or discussion.

Says the person who calls others "flamming queens" you're one to talk about judging others.

 

[slnattak]

Well if you know you're right, why defend yourself?

I think gay men are kind of wary of that behavior is cause on average, gay men just aren't very sporty or aggressive. I know I'm not at all. I hated/sucks at sports in school, as well as anything physical. I like to have a 'good body' but with the sole purpose to attract the same sex, and not much else. (well and the added health benefits) Sure you can find exceptions to any rule. But on average, I just think gay men are innately different than straight men psychologically - which translates to sexuality, and how we interact socially. While it's very interesting to want a straight man to be gay, especially if he's hot, it's just a fantasy and nothing more and I guess we get kind of angry/suspicious if we feel somebody is trying to make that 'fantasy' into a reality, as it's a fantasy for a reason, and it should probably stay a fantasy. I hope that makes sense.

I don't feel I should have to play the guitar or act 'cool and straight guy ish' for a man to like me, I want to be loved for all my qualities, gay or str8.

We just want guys to be honest and not try to idealize something they can never be, it's more about a sense of self-respect. I know you don't hate yourself. True self-hate is rare. We want gay men to be confident in their bodies and whatever they are, the same way straight men are, cause it's the confidence that is attractive, the real non-narcissistic sense of being confident with yourself.

My voice fluctuates too depending on my mood. I can sound masculine, or effeminate, or somewhere in between. I do not like being judged for having 'girly' or 'macho' qualities, I am just me. =p

 

[nafhoosier]

I dont care either.. But i dont like being judged for being my own person in life and trying to find myself.. i am young.. I don't have as much life experience as others.. I have the right to live and learn.. and discover new things.. I shouldnt get shit for it.

What people say on here doesn't reflect what people think when they meet you in the real world.

I promise you that the last thing most people think about when they first meet you is what type of gay guy you are. If they have that thought its just for a second and then they move on with their lives. There are much more important things to think about.

So I think you should just relax and realize that most people (or at least the ones worth talking to) don't even think about things like 'straight acting' or 'flamboyant'. Nobody cares.

 

[GayHunting]

Well not necessarily. As humans we judge others.. we do it sometimes to be professional.. especially when running a company for example. We HAVE to be judgmental. In other cases.. We are with friends and we try to get along.. we don't judge others. One thing of wisdom from the bible that made sense.. Don't judge others..

I personally think people judge others so they dont have to focus on themselves.. they feel amused by it. It gives others power and makes them feel superior.

The purpose of this thread was to talk about a major issue that was always discussed ANYWAY. But this was was more interesting to ME simply because I myself was involved of being judged. This is a forum.. I come here to Vent. I have an outside life that I manage on my own. This is just fun. Anything anyone posts here is for fun.. advice.. or discussion.

You're ridiculous.

People judge others because it's fun and sometimes entertaining...sometimes informative.

I don't know you but you seem incredibly dramatic. When people say things about me that I don't agree with I brush it off. Find something real to get upset about. This isn't it.

 

[axioma16]

I don't exactly understand the purpose of this tread. Isn't it always assumed that people, no matter of our sexual orientation, will have different tastes and interests independently of our outward appearance and mannerisms?

The pitch of one's voice, vocabulary and gesticulation don't mean that one can only have certain tastes, or can exclusively relate to others in a specific way. It doesn't mean that people are angry because there is discrimination against gay people and want to make a loud display of "gayness" to irritate everybody around them.

Each case is very different and maybe the problem is that stereotyping (and aggressive attitudes relating to it) doesn't just happen outside of the gay community.

 

[slnattak]

To the OP:

You are certainly not manly, not in the stereotypical raw straight guy way. No matter how you protest.

You're not girly either, tho.

You have a campy, adolescent male , 'boyish' way of acting. A lot of gay guys are like that, so congrats.

Me? I'm more of a grown straight woman (black female, naturally) or drag queen or pure shaman tribal gay man myself, depending on the time of day and my mood. It is a pleasure to meet you.