For OUT guys: Are you bothered or offended by closet cases?

[Lube]

Re: For OUT guys: Are you bothered or offended by

well i'm having a real hard time dealing with the idea of never having a family with kids of my genetic line and chosen mate...this seems lame but that almost seems worth the prospect of never enjoying sex and/or getting it in skeezy public places if i want to enjoy it...almost

reading through this it seems as if no one really respects guys who stay in and get married and have kids...like they are doing some disservice to their families...well i bet many kids with closeted gay dads would disagree.

for me it's like most of my friends and family wouldn't mind, but after coming out my hopes of my own family are gone because any lady i tried to dupe would surely get a warning from someone.

i just don't see why staying closeted and raising a family is so shunned here.

Because it's totally absurd. Why can't you donate sperm or find a surrogate mother. It's not easy, but then never having sex that you enjoy again isn't easy either. That's why so many guys cheat on their wives and/or come out later in life.

You can only fool yourself for so long.

 

[Lube]

Re: For OUT guys: Are you bothered or offended by

^same here Neo! They look at me as if just being out is bragging. They think they are so smart by "pretending" and "no one else knows". But they do not realize that those who try the hardest to hide it, are actually the most visible sometimes.....

Yes, see my siggie.

 

[xzakxrawrx]

Re: For OUT guys: Are you bothered or offended by

The only thing i hate sometimes is when a VERY APPARENT gay guy says he has a girlfriend. Im not very gay acting, so i guess i can udnerstand hiding it if you dont know me and/or think im straight, but just say youre gay, or dont say anything at all.

yeah that and also a guy who says hes straight but then starts to flirt and stare at me, so hes obviously bi at least but trying to hide it.

 

[Crackberry]

Re: For OUT guys: Are you bothered or offended by

As long as you're not hurting anyone via marrying a woman or being homophobic towards others, I'm not bothered or offended.

I've had pretty understanding family (though unenlightened they may be), and I've always had friends who had no problem with me being gay, but I'm well aware that other people are not in such a position.

I can't judge because I'm not living your life.

That said, it really bugs the HELL out of me, when instead of just admitting that they're afraid of the consequences, they try to make up excuses like "Well I just think sexuality is something that should be kept private" or some other random self-hating mantra they tell themselves to justify it.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Re: For OUT guys: Are you bothered or offended by

Look, there's an old saying that "when your hand is in the lion's mouth you don't jerk it out, you ease it out." Some guys are better off flying under the radar screen until things are right in their lives to fully express themselves.

 

[TX-Beau]

Re: For OUT guys: Are you bothered or offended by

Imposing? Who’s imposing, the gay guy who thinks you should be out of the closet or the straight people whose hatred stuck you there in the first place? Whose opinion had more effect on your life?

Being in the closet is not default behavior. None of us came outta mama's womb closet cases. We all learned to closet ourselves because of the bigotry of straight people, and other closet case gay haters.

If the closet case is a hypocritical public figure, it's open season, and I have nothing but contempt.

If you live somewhere you're going to get executed, by all means stay in the closet and try to get out of there, these guys have my sympathy.

If you're just coming to terms with yourself, you also have my sympathy, and if I can help, just ask.

If you're some 40 year old loser who lied to the woman you married to appear straight, who cruises parks and pissers, if you being in the closet is hurting other people, if you are just lazy and scared. You're on your own.

Is that offense? Who knows, I won't date a guy in the closet though, I'm not gonna be some guy's dirty little secret.

 

[TX-Beau]

Re: For OUT guys: Are you bothered or offended by

Are you kidding with that, at least here we all have the right to tell everyone else how to live their life, and they have the right not to listen. It's called freedom of speech.

You don't have a right to go through life unoffended, you want to be in the closet, be in the closet, but don't expect that your decision is some automatic guarantee of respect, or sympathy, or consideration or anything else. That's just life.

It's fear that keep people in the closet, and frankly it's hard to respect people who are that afraid of other people's opinions.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Re: For OUT guys: Are you bothered or offended by

I have mixed feelings about this. Discretion is something I understand and respect. Some of us value our privacy. But some men take discretion to ridiculous and neurotic extremes. They begin to think the whole world revolves around their "secret" and keeping it. And when it gets to that point, I have to ask "Just what do you stand for? What kind of man are you?"