Forbidden Love?

[maxpowr9]

No, this is not some story about someone falling in love with a straight guy.

I'll share my story, even though I'm pretty sure of the answer.

Ok so I went into work yesterday at A&F and there was this new guy that I have never seen before working there (apparantly hes a transfer from another mall). I was totally taken away by him and I think he knew. After about an of working together we started to flirt with each other. This went on for much of the night until I left late after closing. We did not leave together.

Now I really want to ask him out HOWEVER, A&F has a non-fraternization policy. For those that may not know what it is, that means that you are NOT allowed to date/hook-up with anyone that you work with. I know it's a stupid policy but I can understand why it's in place. I'm not exactly sure what the consequences are (my guess is termination).

So that's where my story is.

Random fact: The CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch (Michael Jeffries) is gay. I met him and his BF yesterday at work while they toured the store. For a 61 year-old man, hes pretty hot.

 

[Txgoodoldboy]

If you, two, got together, would that mean, he would lose his job, too?

 

[rareboy]

Now I really want to ask him out HOWEVER, A&F has a non-fraternization policy.

You've answered your own question. Next, please.

 

[bwbw86]

You've answered your own question. Next, please.

This is true. Seems like kind of a lame policy but if it's gonna get you into trouble with the job you better stay away from it.

But Jesus Rareboy

Don't you ever use tact?

 

[rareboy]

That was tactful. Is there some special way you want the obvious answer presented to you to explain the common sense of the concept?

I'm sure there are people who could write you a book. But the answer should still be the same.

 

[Jonny_Longhair]

I say FUCK the policy, its only a job. You might find a good friend or a boyfriend.

What goes on outside work is none of their business, and how would they find out anyway? The boss sees you kissing on the street or something? You can always play that off.

You could keep the fun at your house, and act like friends in public. Or is being friends with coworkers forbidden now too?

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Dude,

Corporate world and their policies suck. (In a very bad way.) Sure, they have their reasons, and trust me, their reasons certainly cover their asses and do nothing for yours. So, the first überrule of any corporate policy is to establish, what does it do to YOU? If it is not beneficial to YOU, screw it, if you'll pardon my French?

So, show some guts and tell your new co-worker that you have got couple of cool dvds, plus something to nibble on at your place Friday evening and yeah, he can keep his mouth shut and he is welcome to come. No one will know.

---
Nothing against A&F. Equally so, nothing against their CEO, Mr. Peter Pan or whateever his name might be? Cool stores, super cool models, very cool stuff. All is good. Thinking that they can (or even ought to) regulate your life outside the work place in, your own time is however, very stupid and entirely pre-posterous.

So, what? In the worst case that they figure you out and fire you, you'll move over to GAP, Banana Republic, American Eagle, Whoever INC. It is not like you are now losing a superfat 6-8 figure annual income with huge fringe benefits, rite?

SC

 

[rareboy]

I knew you'd be able to get a whole lot of people to tell you to go for it.

Workplace relationships at the employee level are a disaster. Period.

The problem is they aren't on your own time. They're on company time while you two lovebirds are on the sales floor either acting like stags in rut or are throwing a hissy fit because the other is flirting with a customer. And they make for a whole shitload of politics among the other workers.

If you don't like the policy, then start your own company and don't have them. Or go sell schmatta at another store.

 

[texan_slant]

UM - it comes down to whether or not you value your job, and in my humble opinion, there is not enough people who would choose to respect their work and keep their job these days.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey maxpowr9,

Well... I'll fall somewhere in the middle here...

You do have a simple and clear choice. The world is full of rules and regulations that we cant change... thats just the way it is.

You...and only you mate, can decide what you value more. This guy as a great work colleague where you feel same and comfortable with him and you'll make a new friend and work colleague...

or

you risk your job - better yet you find new employment - and you ask him out and pursue a relationship.

Simple.

Either way mate, I'd take my time. Let a few weeks pass before you make any decisions. See if the excitement and infatuation pass before you throw anything away. We've all felt instant connections only to discover lust and opportunity are short lived.

Take it steady and see where things go. The choice is your mate... good luck with your decision... and remember...its your decision. You sure as hell wont be the first to chose love over work or visa versa.

Take on board all the advice that you want... but once the decision is made the mate... go for it! What ever that might be!!! Your not dumb or stupid thats obvious!! Like all of us you deserve to be happy!! Think it through and make your choice!

Good luck mate!

 

[nihilis]

If you don't like the policy, then start your own company and don't have them. Or go sell schmatta at another store.

Exactly. Your choices are your job or the guy. It's not really a dilemma. It would suck, however, if you chose to pursue it and found out the kid wasn't gay, but that's the risk you take I guess.

Random fact: The CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch (Michael Jeffries) is gay. I met him and his BF yesterday at work while they toured the store. For a 61 year-old man, hes pretty hot.

That's good, but unless his boyfriend works for A&F, this is irrelevant.

 

[Oden_grey]

Now I really want to ask him out HOWEVER, A&F has a non-fraternization policy. For those that may not know what it is, that means that you are NOT allowed to date/hook-up with anyone that you work with. I know it's a stupid policy but I can understand why it's in place. I'm not exactly sure what the consequences are (my guess is termination).

That policy has good reason for being there because people who date in the workplace will have the constant temptation to fraternize rather than do their job or take care of the customer.

If you want to pursue a relationship with this guy... find another job then go right ahead and ask him out. I'm sure that if he reciprocates your flirtations he digs you. Good luck.

 

[dr_beat]

Quote:
Random fact: The CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch (Michael Jeffries) is gay. I met him and his BF yesterday at work while they toured the store. For a 61 year-old man, hes pretty hot.

That's good, but unless his boyfriend works for A&F, this is irrelevant.

Of course it's irrelevant. That was why he preceeded with the words "Random fact."

 

[looseliam]

The only way around it is if you two met and knew each other before and there was/is some sort of relationship.

If you can BS your way around that, go ahead.

 

[nihilis]

Of course it's irrelevant. That was why he preceeded with the words "Random fact."

Yeah, I don't think it was meant to be "random" but that's ok.

 

[Raincoat Massacre]

That man has the face of a leather couch...