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soccerboi19

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I am in a unique situation I do believe... I am 19 and serving in the military. There is a guy (he is 22) in my workplace that I am extreemly attracted to. He showed up to my unit about 2.5 months ago, and we have struck a friendship up... we are not best friends or anything, but we hangout a few times a week with a group of people. Just recently we have started just hanging out one on one... I am not sure of his orientation. Although i have caught him looking at my ass (i think)... Now as all of you may know, the military has a dont ask dont tell policy. That means i cant directly ask him. I am concerned that if i try anything that bold, and i get rejected, i will have to face this guy every day at work... if anyone could pls give me advice on how to approach this situation i would be very greatful.

tks much
 
Let sleeping dogs lie.

Let it alone.

You shouldnt get involved with someone in a regular workplace, let alone the military.

Don't make any moves. If he eventually makes a pass at you then, you maybe think about responding but i wouldnt give the green light to seducing him. And i know a thing or two about seduction.
 
Yep, don't be the agressor or seducer ... However; you could talk about a guy you knew who was gay and how he came on to another friend of yours ... see how this guy reacts ... ?
 
The best advice in any "professional" environment is, "Don't shit where you eat."

My first gay relationship was with a shipmate. While "on duty" it was strickly professional, but away from out unit we were thick as theives.

This only happened because we became friends first. Good Friends. Then one night, after a few beers, things went beyond friendship. Things were awkward for a month after that, and in retrospect, things could have gone much worse. But it was consensual, so who was going to tell who what.

That relationship lasted for nearly 3 years, until he got transfered, and I completed my enlistement.

We're still friends to this day, and occassionally over the years we've managed to "hook-up." To this day, NO ONE knows.

Be careful!

(*8*)
 
I would never approach anyone in my unit, ever! It's asking for trouble.

I agree with three of the four points newboy makes. However, even if he should make a pass, leave it as "Maybe under different circumstances, but not now."

No need to throw your career down the tubes. It's just too risky.
 
First off, Thank you everyone for your input. I have never asked anyone anything like this before, and thank you for being helpful thusfar. Although I agree with most of the points you all have made, there still is that one question. What if this guy (I am not going to use any names or any specifics for that matter...) was attracted to me. What if he felt the same way? What if he was afraid to initiate contact?... It just seems that it is an endless circle of him wanting me to break the barrier and vice versa. I remember back in the 3rd grade, when you would pass a note to a person that said "do you like me... circle yes, no, or maybe". It seems like something that juvenile would be the perfect remedy for this situation.

I have a personal goal in life. Never regret anything. This is one of those things that if I dont find out, I will regret. But it also is a catch 22. I'm damned if I do and Damned if I don't. I just wish there was a simple test to passively tell if this guy was interested.

The reason this is bothering me so much is that I never felt this way about anyone before. I mean I have had a crush on other people. But this is something more. The other day when I went to the movies with him, I had this feeling. The feeling that he felt the same way. But like me, he was afraid to act as well. It may have just been my mind entertaining the idea, but...

All this has been on my chest for some time now. And recently the pressure has been building up. I have NEVER told anyone about my sexuality. Therefore I have no one to talk to about these issues. I am greatful that you are all listening and helping me out.
 
So two Texans are looking at a dog licking his balls.

One of them says, "Gee, I wonder if I could do that"

and the other says, "I dunno, man, maybe you better go over and pet him a bit first."






My point is that if you're hell bent on making anything out of this, why not go out of your way to be his best friend first and maybe take it from there?
 
I would say if you play with fire, there's a good chance you will get burnt. You need to decide if the risk is worth the reward. Sounds like you are ready to stop being totally in the closet, therefore I would recommend that you meet other gay guys in a safer environment. You still run a risk of being found out, but not as big as messing with someone in your unit.

PS - Where is the Soilwork that we know and love? I can't believe the king of "Don't shit where you eat" actually gave some encouragement to pursuing a relationship.
 
Well, I'm really saying that he should be his friend first.

Yes, don't shit where you eat is the best advice, but he seems hell bent on ignoring it.. so I'm telling him to at least clean the table before he shits, you know?
 
centexfarmer said:
The best advice in any "professional" environment is, "Don't shit where you eat."

My first gay relationship was with a shipmate. While "on duty" it was strickly professional, but away from out unit we were thick as theives.

This only happened because we became friends first. Good Friends. Then one night, after a few beers, things went beyond friendship. Things were awkward for a month after that, and in retrospect, things could have gone much worse. But it was consensual, so who was going to tell who what.

That relationship lasted for nearly 3 years, until he got transfered, and I completed my enlistement.

We're still friends to this day, and occassionally over the years we've managed to "hook-up." To this day, NO ONE knows.

Be careful!

(*8*)
Click to expand...

Hey Soccerboi..... Centex gives good advice here.

Before I go on I want to thank you for your service to our country. It is tough enough for a straight guy to be in the in the service but I think it is even tougher for a gay guy. Again, thank you for your service to the USA.

As far as the guy you have fallen for man.... Well, please watch yourself. Could be that he is gay, maybe he is not. It's damned tough being a young guy and wanting to have sex with any handsome dude around. Still you have got to watch out for your carreer. Make friends with this guy.... As Centex says ^ you are not in this for life... you two could meet up after your enlistment expires.
I know that is a tough thing to hear man.... Thing is, guys like you that are serving this country are not a dime a dozen. You are very special young men.
We don't need to have you getting dismissed from the service cause of stupid and discriminating rules.
I hope you can find the answer to your questions my friend. Damned tough situation you are in.... just watch yourself. And take care of your friend.
Best to you.....
(*8*) (*8*) (*8*)
 
newboy12 said:
Let sleeping dogs lie.

Let it alone.

You shouldnt get involved with someone in a regular workplace, let alone the military.

Don't make any moves. If he eventually makes a pass at you then, you maybe think about responding but i wouldnt give the green light to seducing him. And i know a thing or two about seduction.
Click to expand...


I agree with you newboy. Never mix work with pleasure. [-X
 
centexfarmer said:
The best advice in any "professional" environment is, "Don't shit where you eat."
Click to expand...

Exactly what I was going to say (thanks centex ;) ). The military is your career right now, and to be dishonorably discharged from the military will always have an impact on what you do later in life. Not worth the risk. Someday our military will give us the respect we deserve. But until then, there will be plenty of other guys you can be with after the military.

And thank you for your service! :)
 
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