Forgiveness

[miketlow]

Forgiveness has got to be one the most powerful tools that a human can have and use!!We all have done some one wrong and someone has done us wrong!!Forgiving that person is so refreshing!!.

I am speaking about forgiveness because I have decided to forgive my family for what I think they have done to me that was wrong in my eyes..Its just not worth holding on to it any longer,I can never move forward if I do not..So its not really about them but about me making my life much brighter and happier!..Maybe a relationship built on respect and love can out of it would be great,if not at least I made the effort!...I once heard some one say "forgive them,then forgive yourself for holding on to it for so long"!!..


So my question is can you forgive some one for what they have done to you??

 

[Kenny-kok-suka]

Hell no , I'm way too petty and vindictive to ever forgive someone. Nope, I rather get down the long withstanding grudges instead. I'm not human enough to get into the concept of forgiveness. In my mind, forgiving them is the same as acting as if what they did to me was okay and acceptable. Just can't do it.

...... when my dad was killed i was so mad i didnt think i would ever forgive the guy who done it, and sometimes im still angry at this guy but i know i have to forgive for my own peace, because the only person u r hurting by holding a grudge is urself. the ppl who u r mad at r just living their life normally while u r letting somebody get under your skin. so i say forgive but u never forget

 

[David DeVour]

I have forgiven in every case except one. I'd rather not go into too much detail about it. They tried apologizing to me. This was after repeated years of shit adding up from them. Stealing, backstabbing, not sticking up for me although I did it for them among other things. On my part, I was young and not assertive enough to stand up for myself to THEM. I wanted them to get the hell out of my life. I just ignored them and walked away when they tried to apologize after the final straw.

That was a loooong time ago. It hasn't haunted my head in many years. I'd probably forgive them now. I wouldn't want to spend a lot of time with them, though.

I don't know if people still say, "These are the best years of your life" to teens. It's not true in every case. I've enjoyed life a lot better after the teen years.

 

[bankside]

I don't see the point. I remember what people have done. It takes no effort at all. It would take more effort to pretend something never happened. I don't dwell on it or stew over it, or plot revenge. I just know it, like any fact.

Also, if I have exercised poor judgement, I remember what I have done and feel responsible to put it right. If someone else points it out to me because I have not noticed, I am grateful for their service.

If someone makes an effort to acknowledge their poor conduct and if they make an effort to put it right, then I do not forgive, I accept that they have fixed it. To me that is where freedom thrives.

 

[David DeVour]

...... when my dad was killed i was so mad i didnt think i would ever forgive the guy who done it, and sometimes im still angry at this guy but i know i have to forgive for my own peace, because the only person u r hurting by holding a grudge is urself. the ppl who u r mad at r just living their life normally while u r letting somebody get under your skin. so i say forgive but u never forget

God, that's tough. Wishing you the best.

 

[miketlow]

Hell no , I'm way too petty and vindictive to ever forgive someone. Nope, I rather get down the long withstanding grudges instead. I'm not human enough to get into the concept of forgiveness. In my mind, forgiving them is the same as acting as if what they did to me was okay and acceptable. Just can't do it.

Damn it Moe!!....I am still waiting for you to tell me how you really feel!!!....lol...

 

[kallipolis]

Bitterness destroys the human capacity to love, and anchors us in a pit of despair, where our delusions impose their authority over our birth right, to live in freedom from fear.

Anger infests our well being with venomous thoughts, that slowly eat away at our self respect, leading us into a blind alley of remorse filled bitterness.

Self forgiveness encourages us to move beyond yesterday's lessons, to enable us to live in our here, and now.

Forgiving another for their perceived abuse of our self respect, signals our willingness to wipe the slate clean, and move forward into our future, free from the bitterness of our past.

Forgiveness opens our future to a more fulfilling, and creative life, when we choose to take command, of our ego's perceived right to direct our life.

 

[tonyboy]

...... when my dad was killed i was so mad i didnt think i would ever forgive the guy who done it, and sometimes im still angry at this guy but i know i have to forgive for my own peace, because the only person u r hurting by holding a grudge is urself. the ppl who u r mad at r just living their life normally while u r letting somebody get under your skin. so i say forgive but u never forget


Holy shit my friend.... you did tell me about that before... but reading your thoughts makes it much more clear...
I'm so sorry that this happend to you and your family.

You are right though, forgive but don't forget.
Seems to me that you are a mature guy for your age.
I hope you and your family are doing ok condsidering the circumtances.

I"ve never had to forgive something so God-awful.
Most I had to forgive was just stupid things done to me in a thoughtless way..
Nothing like you Kenny...
I can forgive most things.... but have never been tested as you have my friend.

 

[miketlow]

Bitterness destroys the human capacity to love, and anchors us in a pit of despair, where our delusions impose their authority over our birth right, to live in freedom from fear.

Anger infests our well being with venomous thoughts, that slowly eat away at our self respect, leading us into a blind alley of remorse filled bitterness.

Self forgiveness encourages us to move beyond yesterday's lessons, to enable us to live in our here, and now.

Forgiving another for their perceived abuse of our self respect, signals our willingness to wipe the slate clean, and move forward into our future, free from the bitterness of our past.

Forgiveness opens our future to a more fulfilling, and creative life, when we choose to take command, of our ego's perceived right to direct our life.

Well said!...

 

[kallipolis]

"I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness..." - Darren Hayes(Savage Garden's "Affirmation")

For some, forgiveness of another, can also appear, as an act of revenge.

If I recall well, Darren Hayes wrote Affirmation just after a nasty divorce.

The pain of a divorce can distort ones capacity to think objectively. Time heals, and we so often, regret words, spoken in anger. There lies, our forgiveness of self, and our return to equilibrium.

 

[Telstra]

Forgiveness has got to be one the most powerful tools that a human can have and use!!We all have done some one wrong and someone has done us wrong!!Forgiving that person is so refreshing!!.

I am speaking about forgiveness because I have decided to forgive my family for what I think they have done to me that was wrong in my eyes..Its just not worth holding on to it any longer,I can never move forward if I do not..So its not really about them but about me making my life much brighter and happier!..Maybe a relationship built on respect and love can out of it would be great,if not at least I made the effort!...I once heard some one say "forgive them,then forgive yourself for holding on to it for so long"!!..


So my question is can you forgive some one for what they have done to you??

Nice post and thanks.
The answer is yes.

 

[Pushyourluck]

There are certain people who have betrayed me in the past and I don't think I will ever forgive them.
I don't harbour ill feelings towards them anymore though, I just erased them from my life and got on with my own.
Not letting someone back into your life doesn't mean you're being bitter about the past. It's a form of self preservation and self defense.

 

[Kester]

I don't really forgive and forget very easy.

Even if I do tell someone I forgive them, most of the time I don't.

I don't mean to hold a grudge against anyone, but I'm just not really the type of person that forgets things easy.

 

[Telstra]

I don't really forgive and forget very easy.

Even if I do tell someone I forgive them, most of the time I don't.

I don't mean to hold a grudge against anyone, but I'm just not really the type of person that forgets things easy.

Thats called forgiven but not forgotten.

 

[miketlow]

I was an awful grudge holder when I was younger. I carried the hurt and the pain with me everywhere. As I got older I realised that I was the only one remembering. The other person had long since moved on and continued with their lives and I was holding myself back. It took a lot of work on myself and my fears to learn the power of letting go and forgiving. Now I make an effort to let the hurt and pain go. I never forget whatever it was and I never allow it to happen again, but I don't carry it with me anymore.

That's how I am feeling!!...If I never have a relationship with my family or former friends again,I will live...I will live free of all the hurt and resentment that I once felt!...

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

It depends. If someone can prove to me that they are sorry, then I can forgive. If the person keeps making the same mistake, then I know to cut them out and move on. That isn't forgiving, but it isn't holding a grudge.

Forgiving is hard to do, but it makes it easier when the other person makes a point to recognize what they did was wrong and they are sincerly apologetic.

.

 

[BrainDamage]

Isn't indifference easier?

Why do we need to forgive people for being human?

 

[Kenny-kok-suka]

For all of u who say u just cant or u need to know they are sorry, thats not the point of forgiveness, this said person doesn not care if u r mad at them or not. who is it really hurting 4 u to hold a grudge, the other person or u?

 

[scains]

I'm perfect.

It depends on whether they have actually apologised and want forgiveness. I wouldn't forgive them if they did something horrible and left it that way.

This makes me think of a song!

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

"Forgiveness is a dish best served cold" ~ Klingon Proverb