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Forgiveness

I forgave my boyfriend for cheating on me. It's been a year and 2 months and we're doing better than ever :)
 
I don't think I have a problem forgiving. But I haven't really been betrayed or put in such a situation where I would consider not to forgive. That might happen, and I won't know until then. I would say that I as a person am forgiving.

But let's turn it around the other way. I read something about this somewhere.

How often do you ask for forgiveness?

People might do something wrong, and maybe be regretful for it. But in many cases one would say something like, "I didn't mean it that way", "You misunderstood me", "I didn't know that I was going to hurt you/anyone" ... and so on ... In stead of forming the most simple, but at the same time "self-sacrificing" phrase, "Can you forgive me?".

I can barely remember asking for forgiveness. It's so much more easy to push the guilt away from oneself.
 
Reading your OP, I can't stop but notice something (I highlighted it red). Correct me if I'm wrong (I'm just going by what you wrote), but you say you were angry with your family for something you think they did to you. Did they really harm you? or did you just think they harmed you? There is a big difference.

A lot of times person A gets angry against person B, because of something person A thinks that person B did to him/her; not because person B actually did something wrong, but because person A thinks person B did it.

We can convince ourselves that person B wronged us, and did something bad to us, even when they have actually not done anything of the sort, but we think they did.

We need to be careful with this train of thought, since it can sometimes make people's lives miserable. Thinking all the time that others are wronging them, blaming others for their mistakes, etc.

It's great in your case, that you've realized that this is about you not dwelling in those feelings and moving on ("forgiving", if you will, though I'm not sure there's anything to forgive if you only thought they wronged you). It does indeed make your life happier and brighter. Congratulations. ..|

Can I forgive? Yes. Do I forget? Eventually, since after forgiving, I usually cut those that wronged me from my life forever. So they become not even a blip on my radar.


Let me put it like this,members of my family were physically violent towards me when I was much younger and could not defend myself..Also there was the name calling,put downs,etc that to a 5 yr old coming from adults was devastating to my self esteem as a child..So I would say that they were wrong for that.
 
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