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Forgiveness

CupidBoy

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How forgiving are you? I can forgive a person if they are truly sorry for what they have done wrong to me, but if they aren't I have no problem cutting them out of my life. I also think life to too short for hate, and in don't like feeling bad towards others.

How about you?
 
I was able to forgive what I thought was the ultimate betrayal. It took me a long time, but I was able to do it. I really love the person I forgave, which I think made it important for me to let the past go and look forward to a future. A person not as important to me might not get the same treatment.
 
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nothin

thankyou
 
Less and less everyday. Forgiveness means forgetting, and I'm tired of having to forget only to be reminded of the things I tried to forget.
 
To me there are three stages of forgiving someone,
First, I seek no revenge, I don't hunt them down and harm/kill them.
Second, would be reconciliation, this could occur if and when someone admitted their wrong, made restitution (if possible) and asked for forgiveness.
Saying "I'm sorry" is not the same as saying "please forgive me".

Third, there would have to be demonstrable change in the dynamics of our relationship.

I have gotten too many "I'm sorrys" over the years only to have the person do the same thing again or some other stunt.
 
Not really into the whole forgiving thing. I tend to hold grudes for a loooong time. I know i shouldn't but that's the way things are.
 
Like I said in an earlier thread about revenge, no one ever did anything that was bad enough, but I do strongly feel that certain individuals should be set straight on certain matters and those strong feelings are fairly relentless.
 
Of course it depends on how much it affected us, but I try to forgive and forget. If it made a major impact on me, I try to move on but sometimes years later find myself still fantasizing about doing major damage to that person. This is done internally in my mind and not verbalized or acted on. I realize that it's useless and anger affects my health and not them and I should drop it. I tell myself that and eventually do, but it can take years.
 
Depends-- some people you can forgive and then move on with your life--realizing they are not that important in the grand scheme of things --and you never have to ever speak to them again---other's are closer and it will take work to really forgive them---if you ever can---a friend of mine went to a therapist three times a week for a year trying to find a way to forgive and stay with his partner---in the end he couldn't find it in him to do it---but many can--depends on the person.
 
I guess I'm in the forgive-don't-forget school. Easy example - I book performers for a show I put on periodically. And occasionally, someone might cancel at the last minute, or even space out coming altogether. I forgive them, as in I don't hold any ill will towards them, and I'll still be friends. But will I book them again? No. :)

Lex
 
Forgiveness is about making yourself letting go of holding on grudges and making yourself feeling good.
Not about other people.
 
Forgiveness is about making yourself letting go of holding on grudges and making yourself feeling good.
Not about other people.

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I'm not real big on the whole "forgive and forget" thing. It takes me a while to trust people, so if they do me wrong.....that's it.

I hold a grudge like a mother holds the hand of a child.
 

If it was a sincere mistake and a sincere apology I could forgive.

If it was premeditated, intentional, in malice, or repeated offenses, You're parasitic scum unworthy of forgiveness because there's no remorse.

Forgiveness is based on intent.

Otherwise you're just opening yourself to be abused again.
 
Only if they are truly sorry and won't or don't do it again. I don't forgive remorseless people or people who hurt others on purpose.
 
For my own sanity and happiness, I work to forgive. I say work, because sometimes it's a long process. I can say with my mouth "I forgive you", but that means nothing if I still have a lot of pain inside. You have to work at it. It's always best to forgive, rather than nurture your pain and let it grow into hate.
 
I am always hopeful that I will be forgiven for my actions, not always noble...for forgiveness is a two lane highway.
 
I'm becoming more cynical by the day, I'm becoming less of a forgiver. Amongst a few of my own experiences that make me less forgiving.
 
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