Found a friend on Grindr

[Ghostrider112]

Just to start off I'm a 20/yo WM. I enjoying hooking up with guys, but i date girls. I have had a grinder account for awhile now and sometimes it comes in handy. I was recently browsing grinder when I found an old high school football buddy of mine who had moved up north for school. He moved back home to attend school here. Now this guy I always assumed was totally straight in HS. I messages him on grinder today and said hey (name)! He immediately blocked me. I don't have a face or any revealing info on my profile. I deleted that profile and made another, this time I just messaged him, "hey!" I didn't get blocked but I didn't get a response either. What should I do? Send a pic of myself? Text him about it? I don't want to scare him off and I don't know what his motivation is for being on grinder. I just want to talk to him really and see where it goes! Any advice would be appreciated!

P.S. I am 100% straight as far as anyone who knows me is concerned. I am very discreet and I assume he is to.

 

[CupidBoy]

I can't help you, I'm quite good looking and I hardly ever get action from apps and hookup site. I don't see why guys even bother being on them if they never want to talk to other people

 

[Ghostrider112]

I can't help you, I'm quite good looking and I hardly ever get action from apps and hookup site. I don't see why guys even bother being on them if they never want to talk to other people.

Kinda my thinking, if he's scared to talk then why is he on it? Which makes me question his motivation, idk

 

[CupidBoy]

All you can do is say hi and if he responds then he responds. I talked to a few guys from high school myself, it was interesting cause I had no idea either.

Just out of curiousity, how come you're "straight" to everyone but hook up with guys? I'm just curious about it.

 

[Ghostrider112]

All you can do is say hi and if he responds then he responds. I talked to a few guys from high school myself, it was interesting cause I had no idea either. Just out of curiousity, how come you're "straight" to everyone but hook up with guys? I'm just curious about it.

BBC I enjoy relationships with women and also enjoy foolin around with guys. But I couldn't see myself in a gay relationship

 

[CupidBoy]

Interesting, thanks for being open.

Good luck with that guy.

 

[sumyungguy]

Seems like you spooked him. I'd be a little hesitant too if you're all of a sudden talking to me out of the blue. It could also be that he isn't interested in hooking up with people that know him out of fear of being exposed (probably in the same boat as you). If that's the case and he lets you know that up-front, just forget this dude entirely. If I were you, I'd just say who I am (which you probably should of done first) and tell him that you'd like to talk/chat/hook-up for a drink and catchup sometime (don't talk about sex just yet), and if he doesn't respond, forget him. It might also help if you talked to him through another social site (facebook, twitter, etc) if it's possible to communicate with him there and let him know that you saw him on grindr. Maybe then he might let his guard down a little more. But don't come on too strong though, don't go all stalker on him. One message, that's all it takes. If he ignores it, forget him.

Hookups can be nice sometimes, but when you have history with someone, you have to tread lightly. Re-introduce yourself before you just "attack"! lol Patience is key.

 

[Ambition92]

I agree with pretty much everything above. Honestly, being a (mostly) closeted bisexual guy if someone messaged me on Grindr calling me by name I'd be pretty spooked too. Also mentioned above I do think it's a good idea to maybe message him through Facebook if you're really interested. Maybe let this whole thing cool down a bit before doing so though just because he too is likely closeted and if you outright say "I saw you on Grindr, wanna chat?" he might not be so receptive. You now know he's into dudes so let it casually slip in a future conversation with him that you are into messing around with guys.

 

[AlmondMilk]

Well, it wasn't Grindr... but I responded to a guy's craigslist thing a few years back at the first university I attended. I sent a pic and everything. It turned out that the guy knew me, and he was in the same club I was in. He didn't know I was gay, and he said it would be great to hang out. I'm guessing hooking up, but I really did want platonic friends. So I reply that I'd love to. Then he stopped responding.

A few months later I email him again. No response. I log into downelink, and enter his email into the search bar to see if he has an account. There he is. He put face pics and everything up. I now know who he is. I responded with a hey and some little blurb about hanging out. He wasn't responsive again. He later deleted his profile. I mean, it could be someone else imitating him. I don't know...

If I were in your friend's shoes, I'd ask who you were and if you had pics. But I guess he really preferred the anonymity. Then again, you can't really get any anonymity when you put your face pic on the app

 

[the8thdocter]

i had this happen on grindr one or two times, i just messaged the person over facebook or through text asking if it was them while reassuring them that i promise i wouldn't tell anyone, i ended up just talking to them about it, never met them though, when we agreed that we weren't each other's type, we just spoke about experiences and that

 

[Markscott84]

I sadly can sort of relate to this topic. The reason I say sadly is because... ill start from the beginning. My best friend is bi. I am str8. Him being bi has never been an issue with our friendship. Plus...he is married and has a child. Like I said before, him being bi was never an issue. He has never said anything or made any sort of remarks that would make me feel uncomfortable. ..until last week. He told me he was on grindr and i Should download it too just so we could mess with people. So I did. So he start messaging me and wants a dick pic. Jokingly I sent him one. Anyway... later on. We are hanging out and he starts looking up porn and we are watching....needless to say he was horny and though he was trying to be subtle... it was clear what he was wanting. He made jokes about us jerking off together and me sendi g him more dick pics.which i did....look...im really not proud of this... but I ended up giving him what he wanted. He wanted to play with my dick so I let him and he wantes to blow me too... but we didnt get to finish because it was really late..but he said for me to come over the next day and he would finish the job....of course he didnt. And since he has tons of dick pics of me and finally played with my dick some... he got his rocks off and im left feeling like a peice of meat. And yea I feel kinda used. He has since deleted his grindr and is now acting as tho hes no longer I interested. Even if I make a joke he pretends he didnt hear me.....so yea...I feel like shit now. But I cant say anything about it...because somehow ill be the badguy