Found A Therapist, But....

[Zildjian]

I unquestionably needed to consult with a therapist to deal with my self-esteem, inferiority complex, and self-doubt issues that came to surface when I started to hang out with Rob.

Yesterday, my mom forwarded me all the information to locate a therapist near where I live (as part of her employee's benefit's 'package'). So today, I schedule an initial appointment with such a therapist, but my session doesn't occur until NEXT Thursday!

How the hell am I going to deal with these problems of mine at the momentum they're taking on me?

I know I've done the first step towards getting 'well', but I don't think I can take this much longer. Everytime I think about Rob and his 'accomplishments', I get depressed and feel like crying. I can't stand the fact of facing the reality of my failed life, even though I'm taking steps to correct it. I feel like such a loser whenever I think about him.

What do I do?

 

[Elwood]

Breath ahhh thats better. First of all let me say that therapy is excellent, it did wonders for me and I am sure it will do wonders for you. However it takes time, everything will not be solved after one session. I was in therapy for a year and a half. I just do not want you going in thinking it will be a rapid thing, it may be, but it usually takes time. You can't stress about it just relax and be thankful you have taken the first step, and go with the flow. The rest will follow.

 

[Martkell2007]

Often a therapist just helps you come to terms with a situation that you would have normall come to terms with on your own.

Unless it's life-threatening, I don't believe professional help is necessary.

 

[Eagle653]

Here's what you do: You spend the next week doing some reflecting and making some lists of what's on your mind. Such as--what do you think are the priorities of your issues? What is the most pressing, important, or urgent? What problems are leading to other problems--in other words, what do you think are "core" problems underlying (or causing) other problems? Which issues are causing you the most angst right now?

Second--consider what you want out of this person? How do you envision them helping you? Is there a way you can express that? (There's a reason I'm asking you to think about this, which I'll get to in a second.)

Third, figure out what's going well in your life; what's working and not a problem. Or, have problems and issues overwhelmed you such that those are all you can recognize and deal with right now?

Fourth, sketch out a time line of the issues driving you to therapy. How long have you recognized them as problems? Have they ballooned over the months, or are they the same as they were a year ago? Two years ago?

Fifth, what physical complaints do you have that you think stem from your issues? Such as, loss of appetite (or increased appetite), feeling of hopelessness or depression, inappropriate emotions, problems sleeping, skin problems, etc. etc. etc.

That ought to keep you busy for a week, and will set you up to use your time well with this person, especially your first session, getting the most out of it.

The reason for point #2: There's a different between finding a therapist, and finding a good therapist. For the first session or two, you should be "interviewing" them for the job. Are they right for you? Do they "get it?" Are they helpful and constructive? Do you feel listened to (don't confuse this with "agreed with" though)? In other words, is this a "good fit."

If not, then continue shopping. I don't have, at my fingertips, the average number of therapists one consults before there's a good match in chemistry and their ability to help you address your problems (but I know it's greater than 1). If you aren't comfortable with this person, try another. And another. It's critical that you have someone you trust completely if you're going to do the tough work needed to get past all this.

Good luck! Let us know how it's going!

 

[954dude]

Therapy will do wonders for you.

It'll help you to work and improve on all the above mentioned issues you face. Some soul searching, self discovery and newfound confidence will also be close.

 

[EvilForce]

i agree. i think the need for therapy stems from a lack of maturity or inability to cope with different situations. its not needed as much as people think it is

While therapy may not be your choice, I would caution against anyone discouraging someone else from getting therapy or seeking help. The original poster has a problem, and is wanting help. He is seeking that. There really isn't any downside to talking to someone, so what's the harm? Only good can come of it really.

 

[Eagle653]

While therapy may not be your choice, I would caution against anyone discouraging someone else from getting therapy or seeking help. The original poster has a problem, and is wanting help. He is seeking that. There really isn't any downside to talking to someone, so what's the harm? Only good can come of it really.

Exactly. Well said.

Zi--don't listen to uninformed and dangerous advice in posts 3 and 6.