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Found JUB on my Fiance's computer--What gives?

pausanias_usa

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? He's already out to you if what you said is true. There seems to be no trust in your relationship: break it off and move on.
 
You are snoopy aren't you?

maybe he likes dicks or dicks and chicks. if he wanted you to know something he would have told you.

I hope that is not his name plastered on your profile. how fucking rude. he is better off with dick in my opinion.
 
it says "Join Date: Jul 2007", it's jan 08, you waited almost 6 months to confront him?
 
First are you ok with him being a bi or even gay? if yes, let him know and it might help him come out. If not, then you need to decide where YOU want to go with the relationship. Sorry you have to find it the hard way.
 
it says "Join Date: Jul 2007", it's jan 08, you waited almost 6 months to confront him?

It's her husband's screen name. She didn't make one.
 
Well Jamie:

Either someone else has been using your fiance's computer (unlikely if you were able to figure out his password) or your fiance likes boys.

I don't know that I would worry about the liking boys issue as much as I would worry that his profile says that he's single, he's messaging guys and he's not willing to admit the truth to you.

It's the lies that kill relationships. Unless something changes, I suspect you'll be ending that engagement pretty soon.
 
? He's already out to you if what you said is true. There seems to be no trust in your relationship: break it off and move on.

Exactly

You are snoopy aren't you?

maybe he likes dicks or dicks and chicks. if he wanted you to know something he would have told you.

I hope that is not his name plastered on your profile. how fucking rude. he is better off with dick in my opinion.

Snooping never helps...shows a complete lack of trust


it says "Join Date: Jul 2007", it's jan 08, you waited almost 6 months to confront him?


And it is the ONLY post they have done
 
Well, it's possible he/she/they have no posts because, if this is all true, the boyfriend only trolls here for porn and doesn't ever post.

The overwhelming percentage of members here never post at all.
 
Jamie, I am sorry if this is the case... Don't let your fiance's actions be a representative of how you see gays and bisexuals.

I can't guess what his story is. He might be a closet gay. He might be bisexual. He could have feelings for males he is curious about.

The only person who truly knows the answer is himself. And if he can't be open to you about it, is this a man worth marrying?
 
Hi there, Jamie. Welcome to JUB. Wish our introduction would've been on somewhat better terms.

First, about the snooping thing. Yeah, it's wrong. It's not like he left the screen up for you to see - you either found or guessed his password to get in. Not cool. But what's done is done.

As it turns out, there ARE several straight guys here at JUB. Some of them like the attention they get from gay men. Others are curious (in a non-sexual manner) about "the whole gay thing". And others wonder if perhaps they might be gay or bisexual, and spend time to try to work that out. However, you'd be hardpressed to find someone in those first two categories who also has gay porn on the PS3, AND who has exchanged PMs of a certain nature with gay men. In short, you're probably looking at someone in the third category. Your guy likes gay porn, and is interested in gay sex.

That doesn't mean it's exclusive, of course. He certainly could be bisexual, getting his "straight sex itch" scratched from you while he gets his "gay sex itch" scratched here. But even if so, that's something you need to be made aware of.

You need to have a major talk with this guy. Not in an accusatory sort of way - that'll just strengthen his denials - but in a factual way. Treat the JUB membership, the messages, the porn as simple facts - for facts is what they are. He's been spending time on a gay porn site, he's sent messages to other homosexual men, he's downloaded gay porn. Try not to give him grief about it, or tell him "Don't lie to me." Just treat thees as done deals, and ask about them. Is this something he does a lot? Just once in a while?

And do give a lot of thought about your engagement. Homosexual feelings aren't easily dismissed or buried - if they could be, there wouldn't be so many of us here. :)

Good luck to you.

Lex
 
Your relationship is over. Period.

And stop being such a snoop.
 
Good thing you learned about it now before you have the big wedding.
 
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