Found out dad is bisexual and I have many thoughts.

[BryanBryan]

Hey guys. I'm a first timer here so don't kill me if I say or do something stupid please. First off, I'm (20) bi myself as of 2 years ago when I had my first guy fuck buddy when I got to college. I'm verse but like to top predominantly. Anyway, I moved 2 hours away from home for college and barely came home the first 2 years because of my hectic schedule. But this summer, I decided to take a break and come home for 3 months to chill.

I came home on Tuesday but my mom told me during finals week that she wanted to have a talk with me as soon as I got home. I wasn't in trouble but she wanted to discuss something. I thought the worst could be divorce. I get home on Tuesday and immediately go to my mom to have a talk. Long story short, she broke the news to me that I should be aware that my dad is having bisexual encounters with a regular partner and that she is completely ok with it. She just wanted to let me know so we can talk about it because she knew she and I are really close and can talk about anything. I found out the following things from our talk:

I asked her why now and she said that my dad had a bisexual past in his college days but completely went straight when he met my mom. But when he started having prostate issues and realized prostate stimulation helped, they had a little talk and eventually allowed him to have sex. The prostate thing obviously pointed out to me that he bottomed even though she never gave specifics which I expected.

I asked her why she was the one telling me and not him. She said that he would've had the talk with me and still would but he thought that my mom would be a better mediator so that I didn't think he was cheating.

I asked who his partner was and she said it was one of his business partners who he had known for years and who I had met once.

And I asked if they had their sessions at home or elsewhere and she said pretty much always at our home for a number of reasons and that was why she wanted to have the talk to me in the first place. She told me that I was grown enough to accept that she and my dad had sex like other parents and adults do in their own home and just wanted to make clear that it would be the same with my dad and his friend and just wanted me to accept his decision and be happy for him. She said that about 80% of the time, they had sex when she'd be out but knew that might be hard considering that I'm home, not doing summer school, and only working part-time.

I didn't bring it up with my dad yet when I saw him that day and pretended like I knew nothing even though he probably knew I did. Fast forward to yesterday, my mom is out shopping and I'm home hanging out. My dad comes home with his friend and I hear them go into the bedroom. I stupidly become really nosy and decide to check in on them quietly when they were in the room (door was a quarter of the way open). Not going into a lot of details right now, I saw my dad's friend get ready to fuck my dad, fuck him, and finish off in the end. Shockingly, I wasn't weirded out or disgusted by what I saw but instead intrigued and sort of thought it was hot to see my dad be submissive like that. And now I don't know what to think and I'm confused.

1. Is it ok for me to think it was hot to see my dad fucked in a submissive position? I don't have any feelings for him whatsoever and would NEVER think about doing anything sexual just FYI.

2. Should I finally have a talk with my dad and let him know what I think and tell him I'm ok with it or just wait until he approaches me? And I'm not talking about telling him that I think it's hot for him to bottom but that I know about his situation and have a discussion about it.

3. Is it bad for me to see him as the submissive bottom because of how it will affect how I see him as my dad? I'm not saying being submissive or a bottom makes you any less of a man or dad AT ALL. I even bottom sometimes. I'm just worried that I might not see him as that authoritative dad anymore.

Please share any other thoughts you may have and I'm ok with private messages if this forum allows it?

 

[Georgiadude]

It sounds like you have an awesome relationship with your parents. I think its great that they are comfortable talking to you about this. You didn't say whether or not you're out but I think now would be a great time to come out if you want to. I'm going to take you to task for spying on your dad and his friend. Out of respect, your parents told you so you wouldn't be surprised and you repay that by spying on him. How would you feel if your dad spied on you and your bf or gf? You should have enough respect for your parents to give them privacy in their intimate life. Now you're wondering how this is going to affect your relationship with your dad. That's up to you. Is he the same dad that he was before you knew his "secret" If so then treat him the same as you always have. I can't believe you watched your dad get topped. That's just disrespectful as hell dude.

You should talk to your dad. I'm sure your mom has told him she's spoken to you about it. I would NOT tell him you spied on him. I think that would be a colossal mistake. Talk to him. Come out if you want but stop spying. Allow him the same privacy you'd expect.

Steven.

 

[Seasoned]

I am a trusting and a believing person, but I'm going to admit this sounds like it belongs in the fiction forum.

 

[KaraBulut]

I am a trusting and a believing person, but I'm going to admit this sounds like it belongs in the fiction forum.

We often tell people seeking advice in the support forums that there's a good reason why we have those little voices in our head that tell us when something doesn't "sound right".

And that we should listen to them.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I am a trusting and a believing person, but I'm going to admit this sounds like it belongs in the fiction forum.

I often say in the support forums that there's a good reason why we have those little voices in our head that tell us when something doesn't "sound right".

And that we should listen to them.

I thought it was a great, hot story... but I smell BS too.

 

[Georgiadude]

I was thinking bs too but I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Steven

 

[BryanBryan]

So... Medical purposes are a reason for having sex outside the relationship.
I won't believe that he is having sex with a guy for medical benefits only. Sounds like an obvious excuse to me.

I know, that's what I thought when I had the talk with my mom too. I knew that anal sex for men stimulates the prostate and that has had great benefits for guys with prostatitis but my dad's past bi life raised a flag at first but I thought why would my dad just all of a sudden decide to go back to having sex with guys 20 something years after he stopped? But the most convincing evidence that this thing is not based on emotional ties is what I saw when I stupidly spied on my dad and his friend. Not going into details but I will say that what I saw wasn't some erotic or emotional sex session. It was almost as if they were following a routine and doing business not just outside the bedroom but in the bedroom too. They were obviously feeling great but there was no passion, kissing, or anything like that. I think that aspect may have been the most appealing to me I guess.

 

[BryanBryan]

It sounds like you have an awesome relationship with your parents. I think its great that they are comfortable talking to you about this. You didn't say whether or not you're out but I think now would be a great time to come out if you want to. I'm going to take you to task for spying on your dad and his friend. Out of respect, your parents told you so you wouldn't be surprised and you repay that by spying on him. How would you feel if your dad spied on you and your bf or gf? You should have enough respect for your parents to give them privacy in their intimate life. Now you're wondering how this is going to affect your relationship with your dad. That's up to you. Is he the same dad that he was before you knew his "secret" If so then treat him the same as you always have. I can't believe you watched your dad get topped. That's just disrespectful as hell dude.

You should talk to your dad. I'm sure your mom has told him she's spoken to you about it. I would NOT tell him you spied on him. I think that would be a colossal mistake. Talk to him. Come out if you want but stop spying. Allow him the same privacy you'd expect.

Steven.

I do have an awesome relationship with my parents. Nothing was hard to talk about with them and sex talk was never an issue with either one of them.

I haven't told them that I'm bi but my mom probably found out the one time she decided to come visit me in college. But I wouldn't mind or be afraid of telling them directly.

And I know, I'm fucking stupid for spying but didn't think it was that wrong at the time. I figured what are the odds that a bi guy's dad is also bi and is going to have sex with his guy in your house. Stupid way to think but it was almost too easy for my curiosity to get the best of me to see what it was like. And another stupid thought, I didn't think my dad having gay sex was as private as my dad and mom having sex. I know, fucking stupid but again, it was weird for me to know that my dad was having sex with a guy, his business partner at that, in our house so it was almost as if they were just hanging out and it wasn't that big of a deal. I blame myself for thinking that because for me, it's very casual when I have sex with my buddy and don't see it as a big private deal. I know better now though.

Can you explain what you meant by "I can't believe you watched your dad get topped. That's just disrespectful as hell dude?" Were you talking about me watching him having sex in general or it being disrespectful to watch him getting topped?

I will talk to my dad. He's out of town for business today and tomorrow but I think I'll have the talk on Sunday. I want him to know that I'm happy for him and that I'm ok with him having sex with his friend while I'm there.

 

[genthree]

" ........the door was a quarter open " I think dad was dropping a hint.

 

[Georgiadude]

I said that because it's disrespectful as hell to spy on your dad. Doesn't matter if he's having sex with your mom or his friend or whatever it is he's doing. I try to write like I'm having a conversation with you and that is exactly what I would have said to you had we been speaking in person. That's just jacked up any way you look at it.

Steven.

 

[ziliphin01]

The door wasn't left open accidentally if they knew you were home. You should probably top that

 

[bankside]

Well, I'll just go with the truth is stranger than fiction theory, and assume this actually happened.

I'm comfortable making that leap, because I really do know parents who over-share.

What would be enough for a mother to say to her kid is "Son, your father and I don't have the usual marriage. We love each other and we're as solid as ever. But that part of our wedding vows about "forsaking all others" was never really all that important to either of us, and that's how we're living our lives together. You don't need to do anything about this except know that we're both happy, and the only reason I mention it is that your father has a friend over from time to time and I didn't want you to worry that one of us is cheating or betraying the other."

Instead people reduce complex emotional situations to a bunch of overbaked nonsense about prostate therapy. "Honey, your father's anal physiotherapist is here! Could you bring up some lube for them from the downstairs bathroom?" LOL. Seriously.

Sigh.

And where this does seem to stray into fantasy is the idea of watching from the door. That goes beyond oversharing into unhealthy weirdness.

 

[mbamike]

Your dad is the same dad that raised and loved you from your birth. Nothing has changed about that.

Whether or not the prostate reasoning for your dad having anal sex is legit is not for you to decide. Your mom knows your dad is having anal sex with a guy and is OK with it. So this issue is closed.

Whether or not you continue to see your dad as an authoritative figure is an issue for you to work out within yourself alone. You should not have spied on your dad in the first place. To me, it sounds like you have issues with bottoms in authoritative roles.

 

[KaraBulut]

*pssssst* OP has left the building.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Banned after three posts???

 

[KaraBulut]

Banned after three posts???

Under this account, yes.

 

[rareboy]

I loved this story.

It demonstrates all the things that go wrong when less than adroit fiction writers take a stab at porn. They always get the details wrong...like the thing about the prostate stimulation....and the whole lead up to 'spying on dad while he's having sex with another guy' thing that doesn't even work in a story on Nifty.

A shame though, because the whole trajectory of the story could have kept the helpful JUBBERS on edge for weeks.

 

[bankside]

Well earnest advice tends to throw a damper on the narrative anyway.

What's hoped for is "Yes. You should hide in the blanket box at the foot of your parents' bed and then once they have started they won't notice another hand if you just carefully lift the lid then reach in. It's for the good of his prostate, clearly."

 

[r0ckst4r]

Half the supposed problems on here as BS

 

[KaraBulut]

Half the supposed problems on here as BS

Not true.

His other stories were in forums where they were accepted as erotica and not questioned. Both mods who posted in this thread picked up on the questionable nature of the subject because it was posted in the CO&R forum.