Friend who showered without shutting bathroom door

[bladerunner]

I'm closeted and masculine, and I've had this crush on a friend who has the nicest ass I've ever seen. We no longer live in the same city. One time he came to visit and, to my surprise, he would take showers without shutting the bathroom door all the way, leaving enough opening for me to peek at his naked body (the shower has a sliding glass door instead of a curtain).

Nothing happened between us that weekend, but I often wonder why he never shut the door. Was he trying to seduce me? Did he think I was gay? Is he himself gay? Or is he straight and thought that I was too, and thus no big deal if the door wasn't shut? Of course I also often wonder what would have happened if I had invited myself to join him... I guess I could have taken the risk, but then again we have many mutual friends and I just wasn't ready to be outed (or potentially losing his friendship) if the interest wasn't mutual.

Sure, I was able to discreetly enjoy viewing his gorgeous body, but it couldn't compare to eating that ass and pounding it. Did I miss a golden opportunity? Or did I do the right thing by not taking that risk?

 

[Junior42]

Personally I would need a bit more of a hint from him then just the door open.

 

[62624rd]

why shut the door . You both are men does he know about or suspect that you are bi or gay. You did the right thing by not taking the risk in my book./

 

[mcbrion]

Is this a "real" - meaning close- friendship? If so, have you never had a conversation about gays "in general," so you know how he feels about "us"?

And consider coming out to him just for the sake of authenticity when you are ready to do it, and not because you can get him into bed. Sometimes, things develop more along the lines running around inside your head when the other person has time to digest that he has a gay friend and can think about it separately. And maybe he'd admit to having had some interest in you (even if he's straight. It does happen, you know).

Right now, what you've witnessed isn't enough to tell you anything (straight guys get naked in front of each other now as they never did back in the 50s and 60s, when I was growing up (unless they were hippies) and so, if you stay closeted, than your friendship will have the same limits it has now. As long as you're okay with those limits, nothing lost. And that's fine. But also nothing gained. Which do you want?

 

[confusedbi]

I came out as bi early in high school. It became obvious to me when guys were more than a little interested and it became easy to start conversations around sex. It led to some activity between "straight" friends and closeted bis/gays.
If he knew you were bi/gay, and left the door open, it might have been an opening. But I would assume he thinks you're straight and probably was not sending any messages.

 

[bladerunner]

Well, I forgot to mention that he's actually a mild mannered twink who isn't into football, pizza & beer on Sundays. So I have my suspicions.

 

[bladerunner]

Is this a "real" - meaning close- friendship? If so, have you never had a conversation about gays "in general," so you know how he feels about "us"?

And consider coming out to him just for the sake of authenticity when you are ready to do it, and not because you can get him into bed. Sometimes, things develop more along the lines running around inside your head when the other person has time to digest that he has a gay friend and can think about it separately. And maybe he'd admit to having had some interest in you (even if he's straight. It does happen, you know).

Right now, what you've witnessed isn't enough to tell you anything (straight guys get naked in front of each other now as they never did back in the 50s and 60s, when I was growing up (unless they were hippies) and so, if you stay closeted, than your friendship will have the same limits it has now. As long as you're okay with those limits, nothing lost. And that's fine. But also nothing gained. Which do you want?

We're good friends, but I guess not close enough (yet) to "open up" about intimate details in our lives.

- - - Updated - - -

Personally I would need a bit more of a hint from him then just the door open.

Well, I forgot to mention that he's actually a mild mannered twink who isn't into football, pizza & beer on Sundays. So I have my suspicions.

 

[jasper666]

I had a friend that dropped more than a few hints, but my thick skull never picked up on it.
Even when he went "public" on Facebook as bi, via a sexuality quiz, his other friends ragged him as usual, and I thought he was just looking for laughs.

We could have been roomies, but I turned him down when he asked. Mostly because we lived in two different areas at the time (city vs outer suburbs/semi-rural), and I was just getting back on my feet after a car accident and only knew one other person in his area. #dumbass
I might have considered it after getting my SSD check, but he had briefly moved away at that point.
I didn't see him too often after he had moved back, only at a couple comicons, I think?

It finally clicked (D'OH!) when his brother coded him as such in his eulogy, that the "friction with mom" made sense.
He already had a wide variety of friends, so seeing such a wide group at the funeral (Irish Catholic family vs goth/punk/nerds) was business as usual.
also, #fuckcancer

If you two are on social media, mention something about Pride or gay oriented, see if he takes the bait? If not, let sleeping dogs lie.
Had my friend been a bit more clear, I might have taken him up on it. I'll never know now.

 

[USEDCAR]

Yes, i feel like once they find out they throw hints here and there. I hooked up with a lot of straight guys once they found out about my sexuality. I would raise an eyebrow if your friend is always dropping hints or was flirting with you. I just think he's comfortable enough around you to leave the shower door open.


I used to be friends with this guy and i was the butt of his gay jokes. We used to be friends with this guy z and i had sex with the guy z and idk if he found out or was joking. He would bring it up and make fun of it I remember we went to the bar and he had these shorts on and a rocking hard on and he was talking to me casually. Idk if he was horny and dropping a hint or he didn't realize it. He ended up getting a girlfriend and we stopped being friends.

 

[USEDCAR]

We're good friends, but I guess not close enough (yet) to "open up" about intimate details in our lives.

- - - Updated - - -



Well, I forgot to mention that he's actually a mild mannered twink who isn't into football, pizza & beer on Sundays. So I have my suspicions.

Why not ask him one day if he's dating anyone or seeing anyone to see what he says.

 

[Shelby29]

Why not ask him one day if he's dating anyone or seeing anyone to see what he says.

that's a good way to start...