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Friend won't respond to my messages anymore?

H

Hot4Ajay

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Okay I need some advice.

I've been using those gay dating/friends apps a lot lately and decided to start meeting people on them. I'm really open with using the apps in saying that I'm just looking for friends or fwb and going from there. More so on the friends thing as I want to have more gay friends, and just friends in general.

Well there is this pretty cool guy that messaged me who is in an open relationship. I'm pretty sure I made it clear that I'm not into a relationship (in person to but I'll get to that), and he was obviously cool with that. Eventually after a lot of talking we decide to meet at his place. He was into cooking so he cooked me a meal, we talked, and went out for frozen yogurt. Though throughout the meeting I was nervous as hell for some reason. Might of been the pressure of him not wanting to hang out again.

He left it off with him saying he's sorry he was low key and that he was just sick and that he said he hopes he'll feel better next time.

The next day I message him, and the next day, and so on and I get very few responses. From the few responses I get from him I learn that he's in the process of getting his house remodeled for selling as well as his bf so they can move in together. Understandable I thought so I just let it go and message him every now and then on the off chance he is able to respond.

But now it's been a few months of no responses really. Just the occasional "seen." And not to sound stalkerish but I know he's not as "crazy busy" as before as I see the occasional post on my Facebook newsfeed of him being with friends or just posting something. I'm not asking for an in depth conversation..

So what I'm asking is what should I do about this? I know people might say to forget and move on, but I really am hoping for a definite answer.. :/
 
Here's his definite answer: He's not responding to you. He's not messaging back to you. Yet he hangs out with his other friends and post his social outings on Facebook for all to see.

A person's action is also a form of communication. Action speaks louder than words. He's not interested.

You should forget him and move on. Good luck!
 
^What Hunter said. He's reading and not responding, and you can clearly see he's out and about with friends. Cut your loss here, focus on someone more willing to be a good friend to you.
 
IMO - Looking for friends on hookup apps is code for "I'm still hooking up but trying to not sound like a whore, and its the excuse I'm going to use when I reject you".

You're looking for friends in all the wrong places.
 
Yeah true guys. Thanks for the advice; a bit of an eye opener. I do occasionally find friends on those hook up apps but I shouldn't really use that as my primary way of developing friendships. Shouldn't always expect something more I guess then a fwb thing.
 
It's all about chemistry and it has to be two-sided to make things work. Since ego gets involved we have to learn not to take it personally when it's not a mutual attraction. What helped me all those long years ago when I was looking was to remember the times when I needed to turn down the other guy because I didn't feel what he did.
 
Okay there is a bit of an update on this.. haha :P

I should have let well enough alone but I stupidly didn't and I was messaging him saying stuff like "are you ignoring me" and whatnot as of recent. Well today he responded after I said something like "was our last visit basically my last meal" and he reiterated that he was still crazy busy and that I'm starting to get psycho. I responded that I'm sorry, it's just been awhile since we last talked and I'm just paranoid, and sorry if things got awkward now. I messaged him this whole thing after I saw that he went to a Halloween party on my news feed btw.

The thing is I may have been jumping to conclusions, but I have bad OCD so my paranoia got the best of me. It's just confusing when he says he's just busy and isn't saying he doesn't want to keep in contact with me, but still seems to be going out. I think I should just give him some space and message him like next month or so..
 
(Fair warning - imminent deployment of a "Sugar")

SUGAR - He's not interested, forget him and move on.

In the future, if you're looking for friends, go find them places where gay men are doing things you like to do. The NET is good for quick dick, but not really much else.
 
Yeah okay, thanks man.

He just deleted me as a friend on Facebook too.. :/

Just going to be hard to get over being dejected..
 
I have never had any luck with apps. It's full of lounge lizards and guys with that pie in the sky attitude. Like it's been stated before, look for friends elsewhere.
 
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