You're being used. The reason this guy is using you for sex and treating you so poorly afterward is that he wants to keep emotionally distant so that he doesn't have to admit he has any desires for men. In this mind, he has made it about the sex and as long as it is just sex, he doesn't have to deal with or accept the fact that he wants another guy.
I've been thinking the same thing. The only way to deal with him on that is brutal honesty, like, Dude, you've been a good friend, but now you just use me and treat me like crap. I don't have to take this abuse.
I dunno. I hope I can but something will happen.
So I woke up feeling really sick and shitty. Not to mention that is a bone chilling 10 degrees out(with wind chill). I dunno why but I keep blaming myself for everything, even though I did nothing wrong. Everytime I try to talk to him about the situation, he just yells and says that i'm just crazy and just putting me down. I just want to sit down and ask him why he keeps pushing me away and treating me different than his other "best friend" but he dosen't want to listen.
I know you're going to try to talk to him about it again. beforehand, promise yourself that this will be the last time!
When he yells, tell him he can either shut up, or walk away. If he doesn't shut up, then you walk away.
If he lets you talk, tell him it feels like you're cutting off your own arm, but you don't see any choice but to cut off contact. Don't weasel on your words; don't say something like "I need to back off", because it will offer him hope. You don't want him to have any hope, not because you want to be cruel, but because if you give a used hope he'll just try harder to use you.
>>>I'm trying but then I keep remembering the good times we used to have and how comfortable I felt when we used to get real close.
You ever have a favorite restaurant? And then they go under "new management", and all your favorite dishes are gone, or now taste crappy where they once were something you'd go out of your way for?
Your friend is under new management. No matter how many times you go back, your favorite dishes aren't what they were. You should cherish the memories of the nice times you ate there...but find another place to eat.
Lex
Darned good analogy!
Son1, part of the trouble here is that between the ages of 13 and 22, human brains go into the business of rewiring themselves. Ways the world is seen can literally change over night, and the person won't even realize it happened. So Lex may be almost literally right: your (former) friend's brain has done a bit of rewiring, giving him "new management", one that makes it impossible for him to deal with you consistently as a friend -- or it may be that he doesn't really see you as a friend at all any more, and the "friend" times now are just from habit, because it's been like that (and if that's true, ending this will be doing him a favor, too).
Well, im about to head to work unfortunally. I think im going to tell my one friend finally. I dunno, i'll be back on later tonight when I get off. The thing that sucks about work, is that its not busy enough to distract me from how im feeling.
Okay, use this to distract you: imagine that someone just gave you a billion dollars. You have ninety days to spend it, in your home area. You can't use any of it to make friends or family rich, though you can pay outstanding debts for them. You can spend it anywhere you please besides that, except there's a rule: how much you get to keep will depend on how well a panel of judges decides at the end that you used it to help your community/area and make it better.
