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friends boyfriend thinks i like his girlfriend....

Kessel

Kessel

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H@llo Guys!!! :-)

So I have this problem.....

So one of my lady friends, who I've know forever and knows im gay and is supportive of me, well...

Her boyfriend thinks I like her.

She mentioned a conversation they had where he said that he is convinced i like her. Now, I'm an all around, fun loving guy, i walk up to people, hug them, hang around alot, so i can understand why he would think that. and i have toned it down, i dont hug her anymore and i just talk cassually.

I can't exactly walk up to him and say

"Dude, if anything, I would rather hook up with you than her"

Advice?

-Kessel :-)
 
Hey Kessel,

How well do you know the bf? If hes with a good friend of yours is he someone you can trust?

Its a bit of a tricky one... for the sake of your friend and her happiness its probably important to be honest with him so he knows that your not making moves on his girl friend. And the reality is that this is hurting your freindship too with her...

Its just a matter of knowing that you can confide and trust him. He must be a half decent guy because your friend likes him but you have to feel comfortable with the idea.

Who knows... if you can satisfy yourself that hes cool then maybe its the start of a brilliant freindship that all of you can share!
 
I had the weird experience once of a straight friend accusing me of hitting on his wife! Looking back, I think she was something of a "fag hag," and her being (harmlessly) comfortable and laughing in my presence sent off warning bells to him.

Either he had seen the same reaction with a straight friend, and was jealous of that, or just simply had issues, I don't know. But it came out of nowhere and really floored me at the time. . . .

It's possible the wife had a hand in things; she knew him far better than I did, so maybe it was some game she played with his head.

If you are not out to your friend, be aware my own friend freaked when I said it was impossible; I thought he knew I was gay, but he was a bit clueless. He then went into a funk about me being gay!

Yea, definitely his problem.
 
Yeah, if you feel you can, definitely talk to him. Alone, if possible.

Just let him know that, since you're gay, your female friend feels (rightfully so) that she can let her guard down around you. She knows that if she hugs you or teases you in a mildly sexual way, it won't be misconstrued. Tell him, "She's a great friend, I feel like I can share anything with her, and I love her to death. But I have absolutely no interest in ever doing anything sexual with her." Do it all with a friendly tone and a smile. He should understand. :)

Lex
 
And we gays are sometimes accused of being nervous and theatrical.
How old is the bf, he seems pretty insecure of himself?.
 
Me and him arent that close...

He's a nice guy, really he is, hes not some big monster that walks around like "DONT TOUCH MY WOMAN!" hes really nice. It's just, me and my friend have known each other ALOT longer than they have, so that might be it too. me and him just dnt talk alot, we dont hate each other, we just dont talk.

I won't feel comfortable telling him, as i have no clue where he stands on his opnion of gay people. And she does let her guard down around me.

I dont want to have this gap between me and her forming because of this. IM GAY! if anything hes the hot one lol. i dont know....
 
you are 19 and in college, there is no better time telling and getting comfortable with yourself. If he has a problem it is his problem, you are young and most people (and I am guessing your friend who is the girl) will be insulted if he has a problem with you just because you are gay.

You don't need to do this, but at the same time you need to start somewhere.
 
Next time you see him, just casually say 'thought I'd let you know, we've been friends for a long time and that's as far as it goes'. That should close the book on it. Nice and simple.
 
Well, I was in a similar situation and just told my best friend to tell her boyfriend I'm gay. I'm a pretty good looking guy and dudes get very jealous quickly around me especially if I'm hanging with their girls.
 
Rotary nailed it. Follow this advice and tell everyone to cut out the drama.
 
yeah do what Rotary says and am sure everything will be fine once the boyfriend knows then he and you will feel better am sure good luck sweetie
 
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