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Friends with Benefits, does it work?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ivyguy24
  • Start date Start date
I

ivyguy24

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Hey guys,

Just wondering if anyone has had any good (or bad) experiences in a friends with bennefits senario.

I spent a day with this guy a couple days ago, and although I don't think there was a connection I did have a lot of fun. He's very attractive, but we both agreed things didn't click as far as love goes. There was some kissing, but neither of us are a really flirty type...so most of the time was just hanging out.

I'm only in town for the summer. I'm 20 he's 26. I don't see anything happening as far as a relationship, but there is a physical attraction, and we both seem open to hooking up. There's an age difference, but I don't think it's unreasonable, especially considering neither of us want anything long term.

So, basically we're looking at a friends with bennefits situation, and while I've never really given it too much thought before.

But, it seems like a good thing. I don't want to get into a relationship at home, since most of the time I'm at college, but at the same time I'm single...and it sounds like stupid rationalle, but I like making out and I like sex. Of course, everything would be safe, and probably mostly oral anyway. I can live three months without it, and I have kept clear of all opportunities so far, because I just don't want to lead someone on like I'm interested in a relationship, and at the same time I don't like random one night stands.

So, I need advice, have friends with bennefits caused problems for you guys?

I want to give it some thought before acting on anything, but if I can have sex regularly without being tied to a relationship at home, with the same person who I enjoy being with. For some reason I'm hesitatant, but it seems like a good setup.
 
i have a problem with this whole idea because I cannot hook up with someone and not develop feelings for them. It's happening right now and it sucks because he wants nothing more than a blowjob and sex when I see him

Whatever though ,to each is own. just don't get hurt, thats what i say.
 
I think it sounds great. Give it a try. If you realize it's headed in a direction you don't want it to you can cut it off.
 
It is great until one person wants to stop for whatever reason. Then the other party gets upset because they are loosing a fun sex partner.

So it has its pros and cons.
 
It works for both people for a period of time.

Then someone:
a) wants to end it
b) wants more than friends

Then it only works for one person, until the one of you gets fed up and calls the whole thing off.

Until then it can be fun though.
 
"Friends with Benefits" can work, as long as Everyone involved understands that it's all "Merely Sport"! Simply Guys being Guys! Bring "EMOTION" into the equation, and it's all "down hill" from there! Especially if it's only one-sided! #-o

I had to come to terms with the fact, that one of my closest "Buds", did not actually consider me "his type"! ](*,) As much as I was enamored of Him, he was only being "gracious" in allowing us to "Play" together!

Did I enjoy the "Fun"? Hell, yes!! And I was/am eternally Grateful for those experiences! :badgrin: ..|

But ... still knowing that I was not what He truly wanted ... sort of took some of the "Zing!" out of what we did do together! :slap:

The "Fun" ... at least for Me ... was still there, though! (!) :-<

"Bottom Line" ... Keep your Head about what your "Head" is up to! \:/ (!w!)

And ... of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
don't do it if you want your friendship to last i've done it and now the friendship i had is no longer, its been seven months and it sucks not having my best bud around any more.
 
Sorry to hear that! :cry:

But ... sometimes it "Works!" ... sometimes it doesn't. :help: ](*,) #-o

The "Big Question" is being able to accept it, and move on! (o)
 
Some time ago, I used to have friends with benefits. In each case, it worked just fine. I think the key to it working fine was each of us was on the same page with it--it was a means to get rocks off and nothing else. In fact, I could not (and didn't) have a relationship with any of them--they were just friends (with benefits).

I think it can be a slippery slope, though, and one has to be careful.
 
I've had two,a nd they're both fine, but it also depends on the type of people involved and the sort of friendship you have.
 
Yup. It has been working for me for years now.

Consider this:

You are a 20 year old college dude. You are spending your summer break at home and the only thing you really want to do spend 3 months at home making friends, with good ole' Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters as the saying used to be...

So, he is 6 years older and more likely than not facing the same problem.

Getting together and sorting out that little mess together can be loads of fun for both of you.

Nope. Neither of you has to fall in love with each other. You are men. You can have sex and enjoy it without really developing the strongest of all the emotional links with each other. Men are usually hard-wired that way. Cool friendship with little side benefits is well, benefitial...

Sure, things can go wrong. Things can ALWAYS go wrong and sometimes, they do.

He can start falling for you and/or you can start falling for him? He can lose interest or you can lose interest? Whatever?

However, no one seriously stops dead in his tracks just because 'things can turn sour' and 'one or the other thing can go wrong'.

You take and make the best out of what's at hand and you enjoy it while it lasts and afterwards, you move on...

SC
 
It can work out and it will with some proaction. Treat it like you would when making any type of deal with someone. Clearly agree on the conditions of the arrangement. Express any concerns and state your expectations from the start. This gives both of you clear boundries and justifiable reasons to terminate if one or the other acts out of bounds. After you have your understanding, just enjoy yourselves. Peace. ..|
 
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