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Friends with Benefits

chrisdobro

chrisdobro

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If you have a friend with benefits, how exactly did you get together and become this way and how do you keep it up ?

So far I can either find friends (non sexual type of thing) or benefits (one night hookup type of thing).

So feel free to start with "it was a moonlit night and our eyes met .... " or otherwise :) but I am very much interested in how you guys met and managed to keep both the friendship and the benefits.
 
I was a friend with benefits with a guy and it lasted for over 30 years. We started out fooling around at sleep overs when we were in high school and it lasted up until his passing two years ago. I don't know why it lasted. He was bi (married with children) yet every time we got together it ended up with us having sex. In our twenties we lived in the same town and got together at least 3 times a week. After he moved to another town in the same state I saw him 3-4 times a year. I always thought of him as my friend first, not just someone I had sex with. We shared many of the same interest and he had a wonderful sense of humor and could always make me laugh.
 
I have a friend in Scotland that i used to spend a lot of time with, you know doing things mates do. one night we were drinking and decided it would be fun to play strip poker, and the rest just happened , the following morning he looked me in the eye and said that although it was fun it was a one off well that one off lasted 10 years every time we were alone it wouldn't be long till we were nude and having the best sex ever. He is now happly married now but when we meet the temptation is still there, but although we have talked about reliving the good ole days We have decided that it is not worth it. But we have the memory, good enough for me and our friendship is as close as ever but without the extras.
 
My first fuck buddy was a friend and teammate of mine on high school swim team. One summer, he told me he experimented in theater camp and was bi. Later in the year, I came out (and to him). We later decided to hook up because we were horny boys. The nature of our friendship was such that we were happy as friends and wouldn't really consider being in a relationship, so we never really had to work at maintaining our friendship and staving off deeper feelings. We still hook up if we're ever in the same area.

My other fuck buddy was an older guy I met online. I took the necessary precautions (told a housemate his address, number, etc., told her I would call if things were okay.). He ended up being really sweet and we hooked up for a long while. I started to worry, however, that he was getting feelings for me, so we talked about it. Luckily he wasn't seeking a relationship, he just enjoyed my company. So we kept hooking up. We'd see movies together, get dinner...

I think it's really just up to communication. Some people by default are too compatible to be fuck buddies only, while some people on their own just aren't the kind of people to have no-strings sex. But I think if you come upon the right person who just wants sex and friendship, then the thing you need to do to make sure it stays that way is communication. If you're concerned that things are getting too heavy, then just bring it up as a concern. I spoke with my f buddy and told him that I was concerned because I wasn't looking for a relationship and I didn't want him to start feeling for me and get disappointed or hurt. I was just honest and open with him and luckily he felt the same way. Sometimes it was awkward, but if we didn't push past the awkwardness, things could have become much more unnecessarily complicated.
 
I suppose it could be said that I have a few "fuck buddies" ... though we don't actually "fuck". "Fuck around", Yeah! "Butt", nothing anal. :badgrin:

There were four of "us" at college, and I've "messed around" with two of them over the years. And, three of "us" have "played" together, too. However ... never with the "third". All three of the others are (or have been) married. One has 6 kids, the second didn't have kids, and the "third" has 4 kids. I know, and am very close with, all of their families! ..| (I don't believe the wives have "known" what's been going on, for the past 40 years!) [Um ... Yeah! ... 40 years!!!] #-o

We are Friends first, and foremost! The "Let's all be naked!" stuff just happened, as horny, curious, usually drunk, boys are want to do! :-<

It's actually just been an "extension" of getting to know each other Very Well!! NOTHING is held back between us!! (!w!)

I couldn't have hoped for better Friends!!!

It's simply been "whatever" ... "where ever". And ... what happens in "where ever" stays in "where ever"!

It's all a matter of Respect, and a knowledge of Complete Trust!

If You can achieve it ... there's truly nothing quite like it!!

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
ChrisDobro

If you're talking about someone you're fucking while you or the other person is in a relationship with someone else, the term for it is not 'Friend With Benefits'.
 
thank you guys

these stories are inspiring.

Although I have a very good friend myself and have done things with him a lot ! during teen years, nothing like this happens between us. I've visited him a couple of times after that came out to him, and even sublty tried pressing on what we've done before. He remains unresponsive to these. I accept it as friendship between us is first and foremost to me.
 
I'm not sure if 'inspiring' is the right word, unless you actually aspire toward developing fuck buddy relationships...It's more of just do it or don't.
 
I don't think there is really anything such as a friend with benefits.

My own personal experiences have been that while you may hook up you are really not very good friends.

I had one that lasted a few years. Then she said she wanted me to get her pregnant. Well that was that.
 
LOL, I doubt if friends with benefits is a common theme in the hetero community.
 
jft245 said:
I was a friend with benefits with a guy and it lasted for over 30 years. We started out fooling around at sleep overs when we were in high school and it lasted up until his passing two years ago. I don't know why it lasted. He was bi (married with children) yet every time we got together it ended up with us having sex. In our twenties we lived in the same town and got together at least 3 times a week. After he moved to another town in the same state I saw him 3-4 times a year. I always thought of him as my friend first, not just someone I had sex with. We shared many of the same interest and he had a wonderful sense of humor and could always make me laugh.
Click to expand...

what an interesting story. you could write a short book about this.
 
cosmicblue said:
I have a friend in Scotland that i used to spend a lot of time with, you know doing things mates do. one night we were drinking and decided it would be fun to play strip poker, and the rest just happened , the following morning he looked me in the eye and said that although it was fun it was a one off well that one off lasted 10 years every time we were alone it wouldn't be long till we were nude and having the best sex ever. He is now happly married now but when we meet the temptation is still there, but although we have talked about reliving the good ole days We have decided that it is not worth it. But we have the memory, good enough for me and our friendship is as close as ever but without the extras.
Click to expand...

i guess you are not attracted to each other anymore.
 
--O2-- said:
Yes, he was sort of cute, and no, I didn't go. However, maybe that's how it starts...
Click to expand...

I've had a similar issue, where a kid came up to me and said and I almost quote "Can I suck your cock". Afterwards I couldn't believe it, so maybe he said "Can I see your cock". Either way I remember that whatever he said shocked me. I said Yes.

Skipping the details that take up a few pages on some other post I've made, I'll just say that it turned out to be quite a night that involved a dark alley, 69 rimming position, and drugs. And he did not become my fuck buddy as I've never seen him again. Because I've had enough for the first time to not want it again.

luminum said:
I'm not sure if 'inspiring' is the right word, unless you actually aspire toward developing fuck buddy relationships...It's more of just do it or don't.
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sigh ... well I don't know .. I suppose for me it was a fantasy to have my friend be a buddy with me as in to have the benefits too. I'd do it but he did not. If that's what you mean, as I suppose you do, then that's what we get.
 
In response to Telstra, it's not that the attraction aint there he has to much to loose. where as I am an out Gay guy and don' t so although i may want it all to happen again, I respect his choice that it is to much of a risk for him, and being 300 miles apart we dont see each other that often.
Davie
 
Lube said:
LOL, I doubt if friends with benefits is a common theme in the hetero community.
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Actually, for every gay friend I've met who has a fuck buddy, I can name just as many girls I know with guy fuck buddies. Surprising. But in my experience, just as many of my straight friends have fuck buddies.
 
It doesn't seem possible for me.

I sorta have one right now, but we don't actually have sex. We just jack off together, which is really cool. I don't want sex from him, at least not now. He's a little over 10 years older than me and very handsome, muscular, kind and smart.

But I'm really afraid that I might be starting to fall for him. I just don't want that to happen because I know he would never return it. It's pretty clear that he wants someone his own age, and I guess I want to date a guy closer to my own age too. Sometimes though, the heart (well, more accurately, the brain) doesn't think rationally.

I think what makes it rough is that we cuddle together and even slept in the same bed together naked. I felt so safe wrapped in his arms. How does a guy let that go?
 
its true there are hetero fwb relationships but they dont last very long because the girl gets attached and the whole thing is complicated, falls apart, drama. for guy/girl it's either relationship or one nighter.
 
youngnihilist said:
its true there are hetero fwb relationships but they dont last very long because the girl gets attached and the whole thing is complicated, falls apart, drama. for guy/girl it's either relationship or one nighter.
Click to expand...
I would be careful about these broad statements you're making. As an example, two of my girl friends had no-strings FB's that they maintained, in one's case, for two years and in the other's until he moved away 3 months later and they NEVER got emotionally attached. They just wanted to fuck and that's how they kept it. In the latter's case, she even thought the guy was stupid, annoying, and politically backwater, but he was hot and all she wanted from him was sex. Now that's he's across the country, he texts her every so often saying he's "lonely" and she just rolls her eyes and deletes his messages.
 
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