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Friends with Benefits

Raven03

Raven03

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Earlier this year i started seeing a guy i really ended up really liking. After a couple of months in he let me know that he thought about possibly becoming boyfriends but realized that he wasnt ready for anything serious at this point in time. He said all he could offer me right now is a close friendship. It sucked hearing that but i accepted it because we did quickly become close friends talking everyday and hanging out.

Its been a few months since then and we are still close. The topic of FWB came up recently and apart of me is tempted to go ahead and do it. We are both sexually attracted to each other and enjoy each others company. However im afraid that it may turn our relationship into just about sex or I may damage the possibility of us ever dating when he starts thinking about getting into a relationship again. Of course this is assuming he will see me more than a friend in the future. I already know i have to watch my feelings because i do like him. I am torn on what to do. I have heard horror stories, good stories, hell i even heard of FWB ending up together.

Any advice?
 
So I am assuming he initiated the idea of a FWB? Was this at the beginning when he said he only wanted to be close friends or is this fairly recent that he has brought this up?

Are you going out and dating anyone else? The problem is what kind of infatuation you still have attached to this guy. If you have no interest in seeing anyone else, then perhaps a FWB situation is the final motivator to get this friendship/relationship rolling to some kind of conclusion. It sounds to me that this has been a few months of unrequited feelings.
 
I am going out and seeing other people. I'm not sitting around waiting on him to decide when hes ready to take that plunge again. Though I wouldnt mind a chance of dating him again when he was ready if it worked out that way. We were seeing each other for a couple of months before he decided that he just wanted us to be close friends. He basically said he came out of one a few months before we met and hes not ready for a new one but he said he liked me alot and wanted to stay close.



The fwb thing got brought up when we were talking about sex and porn. Things got kinda hot in the conversation.lol He mentioned it as joke then we both ended up talking about it. We both think it would be hot and fun but we also have the same worries of it blowing up in our face since we have become even closer as friends. im thinking maybe we should leave well enough alone............idk.
 
Well do as you please but keep your feelings on watch. FWB may make you like him more but if the FWB thing fail you may get hurt more than you think you would. So keep your emotional attachment in control.
 
Sure it's possible - the better question is if it's Probable for YOU.

Any time you are engaging in casual sex for whatever reason you run into problems when one partner is unable to accept it for only what it is.

He said he didn't want to date YOU. I know that sounds harsh - but really, every time I ever told a guy I wasn't ready for something serious - I wasn't, until something came along I wanted to be serious about. If you get my meaning.

You still want to date him, and have been hanging out with him in the meantime. Do you really think your head is in a place where you can fuck him and NOT have that mess with it?
 
I know what your saying. Im not trying to date him again i have accepted that being close friends is all we will probably ever be. At the same time I dont want to mess things up as friends if we were to engage in this.
 
Not trying to date him isn't the same thing as not wanting to date him, the point is that for you it wouldn't be just about sex, you have feelings there, and therefore it's not a good idea, no matter how much you might want to hear that it is.

I'm afraid you're considering this in some kind of "get what you can," mindset that's only going to get you hurt.
 
He's told you he's on the rebound and doesn't want to date you. He could also be saying that sex with you is ok but you're not husband material. It's hard to know. It's best if people wait before getting into another relationship so let him have that time.

It sounds as if sex for him will be sex, but will cause more emotional closeness for you. You could get hurt.
 
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