I've been in a sexual relationship with an older man that I met a few months ago on a hook up site. In his profile, he said that what he was lookign for was fuck/suck buddies. No where did it say that he wanted anything else. We've been meeting up for sexual fun almost every week since February, and since then we've come to enjoy one another's company. He's very nice and I enjoy talking with him and he's well cultured and always has new things to tell me or show me.
Recently, he suggested that we start spending more time together, like watching movies instead of always just meeting up and having sex. This isn't new, since we've gone out for food once or twice, though usually after we've hooked up.
The thing is, I'm worried that what he wants to start is a relationship. I enjoy his company and all, but I'm conviced that we wouldn't work in a relationship, partly because I don't see myself with him. I would love to have a close friendship with him, where we meet up to see movies, have dinner, or talk, but I don't love him or feel that I feel that way about him. Even when we started hooking up, I had no intention of being in a relationship with him, and I figured he wanted that too, since he seems like the kind of person who doesn't have the need for a partner. And an issue I was always concerned about was if I met someone who I was interested in starting a relationship with, how I would then end my sexual relationship with this older man while maintaining the friendship.
I'm not certain that what he's proposed is a means of edging us toward a relationship, but I want to clear the air between us regardless. If all he wants is for us to spend more time together doing other activities as friends, then I'm very, very, okay with it and I'm all for it. But if this is him nudging at us being together as a couple, I don't want to lead him on.
I'm just not sure how to bring it up without seeming like I'm rejecting him completely. It would be awkward for him to want a relationshipa nd thenf or me to shoot him down and ask that we just be good friends who can hook up or watch movies togehter or enjoy one another's company platonically.
Any advice?
Recently, he suggested that we start spending more time together, like watching movies instead of always just meeting up and having sex. This isn't new, since we've gone out for food once or twice, though usually after we've hooked up.
The thing is, I'm worried that what he wants to start is a relationship. I enjoy his company and all, but I'm conviced that we wouldn't work in a relationship, partly because I don't see myself with him. I would love to have a close friendship with him, where we meet up to see movies, have dinner, or talk, but I don't love him or feel that I feel that way about him. Even when we started hooking up, I had no intention of being in a relationship with him, and I figured he wanted that too, since he seems like the kind of person who doesn't have the need for a partner. And an issue I was always concerned about was if I met someone who I was interested in starting a relationship with, how I would then end my sexual relationship with this older man while maintaining the friendship.
I'm not certain that what he's proposed is a means of edging us toward a relationship, but I want to clear the air between us regardless. If all he wants is for us to spend more time together doing other activities as friends, then I'm very, very, okay with it and I'm all for it. But if this is him nudging at us being together as a couple, I don't want to lead him on.
I'm just not sure how to bring it up without seeming like I'm rejecting him completely. It would be awkward for him to want a relationshipa nd thenf or me to shoot him down and ask that we just be good friends who can hook up or watch movies togehter or enjoy one another's company platonically.
Any advice?
