first- perhaps due to my own identity exploration- I understand your claim to a straight identity. A good friend of mine explains that someone can have all the homo desires in the world, but if they never act upon them and/or if the behavioral projection to others appears 'straight', they are indeed straight (until proven guilty, so to speak).
Emphasis Mine.
Ok let’s just correct this one right off. This isn’t being straight. This is called the closet.
Now a word about labels, words mean things. You can’t call black white, and expect the world to just agree that for
you, black is indeed white, and then make sure they always use black instead of white, when talking to you, just to appease you.
We as humans use labels to communicate, to understand the world around us, language itself is just one huge exercise in labeling things. So why all the hang-up about being labeled or labeling yourself gay or bi?
We go through our daily lives being labeled and labeling ourselves in a hundred different ways. Tall short, fat thin, blond brunette, northerner southerner, American French, and on and on. Straight people
never say:
“I prefer the opposite gender but I’m not straight, I don’t like to label myself.”
So what is it about gay and bi that pushes so many of us to use that justification? It’s not the label; it’s our perception of being gay and bi people that causes it. Some of us desperately don’t want to be gay or bi. We don’t want to be labeled gay or bi because we have issues with ourselves.
Fine, we all understand why that is, but if we fool ourselves into thinking that not using the label somehow means we are not who we are, or that everyone around us isn’t going to label us; then we’re never going to be happy with our lives. Because being gay or bi is part of us, an important part, and
that is the reality.
There is nothing wrong with being gay or bi, there’s nothing wrong with being who we are, and we’ll never be comfortable with ourselves until we stop making excuses and justifications for that.
