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From fuck buddies, to friends, to fuck buddies, to friends, to friends with emotions.

I have to agree with the other posters the OP is just being used by this guy. The guy is using the OP to boost his self esteem and ego. The problem for the OP is he always runs to the guy whenever he needs attention. And that's what this is all about the guy simply likes the attention. It is time for the OP to start turning this man away rejecting his attention and ignoring him. Or another route would simply be to cut this man out of your life and move on. The OP will realize this man is no good for him but it seems to me he is waiting for something to happen. The problem is the OP may be waiting forever this is just heartache and pain he is waiting for. I know it will be hard but the OP must cut this man loose and move on with his life.
 
Thanks for the responses guys. I'm going to do what bw suggested and just bump him down in my life in my list of priorities. I think you're right, MorrisseyX, in that he is probably enjoying the attention of having a new guy in his life but also having his old potential lover wrapped around his finger.

I'm just going to put him on the back burner until things with his new guy blow over (or not). What's really fucked up is, like I said, since we started being friends again around September or so, I was doing SO WELL just being friends. I almost NEVER would think about the hot sex we used to have. And then, bam! As soon as he starts to date someone, he gets the genius idea to start making out with me one night and blowing me. And ever since he did that, it reminded me of so much... and now it's so hard to go back to just being friends. For him, he said he thinks he was just drunk, and he agrees it was bad timing...

he messaged me again today being like, "you're mad..." and I explained how I felt and I went off on a little tangent about how I'm obviously better than this guy and have more to offer, and all he said was that he can't pick his emotions. I just wish he would have never kissed me again.

So I guess we're still going to try and be friends (I don't think that will really go far) and maybe something will happen in the future. I agree he is using me emotionally... but maybe not physically... he used to tell me I used him (when I was in a relationship and he was just sex) so maybe it's a kind of revenge... I don't understand how I'm going to be able to apparently just go back to being friends (with more affection, his own words) while he has an up and coming bf, so what, we'll go out, party, and then he'll go back to his bf's apartment like he's been doing... I hate that... hopefully it is just infatuation and this guy won't last.
 
It seriously sounds like a toxic co-dependent friendship. Enough already with the drama - and move on.
Sorry to be so blunt, but I diss my friends who are more stress than it's worth - whoever is the root cause of it.
 
saymyname said:
So I guess we're still going to try and be friends (I don't think that will really go far) and maybe something will happen in the future. I agree he is using me emotionally... but maybe not physically... he used to tell me I used him (when I was in a relationship and he was just sex) so maybe it's a kind of revenge... I don't understand how I'm going to be able to apparently just go back to being friends (with more affection, his own words) while he has an up and coming bf, so what, we'll go out, party, and then he'll go back to his bf's apartment like he's been doing... I hate that... hopefully it is just infatuation and this guy won't last.
Click to expand...

Read the bolded parts.

How can their be any kind of future if he's using you? Why would you want to put up with that? Is the sex really that good?
 
texan_slant said:
It seriously sounds like a toxic co-dependent friendship. Enough already with the drama - and move on.
Sorry to be so blunt, but I diss my friends who are more stress than it's worth - whoever is the root cause of it.
Click to expand...
Quoted for truth.

You feed off each other, and that's not a good thing.
 
saymyname said:
And then, bam! As soon as he starts to date someone, he gets the genius idea to start making out with me one night and blowing me. And ever since he did that, it reminded me of so much... and now it's so hard to go back to just being friends. For him, he said he thinks he was just drunk, and he agrees it was bad timing...
Click to expand...

Having seen your posts for a while, it's surprising how passive this sounds... how easy it sounds for him to play you.

From an objective viewpoint, he didn't really force you into anything that you didn't want to do, even though it sounds a little passive on your part, as if you were doing something that you didn't want to do. You might have set out to be friends, but you did kiss back and you did allow that zipper to be unzipped and you didn't exactly push your cock out of his mouth and say "No".

But this isn't about the sex. It's about someone who has figured out which buttons to push with you to get you hot and bothered, take things to a certain level, play with your emotions and then push you away. Then the cycle starts all over again.

In the real world, when a cat plays with a mouse, there's not much in it for the mouse. So, it's always odd that when it comes to two people playing cat and mouse, it's usually the person who is in the mouse role that wants to come back for more.

You can end this anytime you wish by not letting him play with your emotions (and your cock) anymore. You can just walk away and say, "Hope things work out with this guy, bon chance". And when he starts things up with you, you can always say, "Nope, not going there with you again. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, not wasting anymore of my time".
 
Good points all around boys... well I was passive in the sense that he told me to kiss him, and after saying "are you serious?" once or twice... then I decided to... true, he didn't force me, but I didn't think it would lead to all of this confusion. I thought it meant he was admitting his feelings for me, or at least the attraction that we have, and that we'd see each other while he is dating this other guy too - because people CAN date more than one person at a time, but he doesn't believe in that.

As for those that have pointed out that I seem to have a tendency for this sort of thing... and that it seems toxic and stuff... yeah, you're right. I wonder why I gravitate towards that. The sex IS really good, but other than the other week, we haven't really fucked since like May or June. But I wonder why I have a penchant for these kinds of emotionally confusing things in the first place. Maybe it's something about me? Or just being young and actively dating in a big city?

Anyways, he messaged me last night and I didn't reply. I haven't been thinking about it as much. No texting. I sort of have a new crush...
 
saymyname said:
Anyways, he messaged me last night and I didn't reply. I haven't been thinking about it as much. No texting. I sort of have a new crush...
Click to expand...

And I would urge to follow the new and stick to your guns and ignore him. It's hard to admit someone you have feelings for is simply using you, but he is.
He used you for sex and has been using you the past few months as a way to boost his self-esteem. That is NOT someone who should be waiting for or looking to for a steady relationship.
Look foward and not in the past, which is exactly where he belongs.
 
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