I know this thread is old news, but I figure I'll give an update... since it's on my mind.
So, since I last wrote, we've just texted a bit here and there. He still texts me first usually. He leaves town for a week in a few days and we agreed we should get together before then. But I didn't hear from him tonight and from what I understand, he's leaving very early Thursday morning, so that only really leaves tomorrow night. I'm tempted to text to solidify the plans, as last time I just said "let me know when you're free before you leave" and left it in his court. But, there's two logical things holding me back: I just have this intuitive feeling he likes to chase so I'm not gonna text him. If a guy is a top (and I know this as a top myself), usually when a guy is too available, it's a turn off. So he knows I'd like to see him, I don't need to remind him. Right??
Anyways, this whole situation is starting to frustrate me. I feel like I'm really starting to like him - so much so that, even though I'm still single, I keep putting off dates with other guys. And I like that I like him, but not if I can't confirm with him that there is some potential for something to grow out of this and that we aren't, in fact, just fucking. But I feel like it's probably way too soon to bring that up, but conversely, I don't want to wait weeks and miss the chance for him to know that I like him. I'm thinking that, if in a couple weeks it doesn't seem like we're hanging out more often or like things aren't advancing, I'll just say to him something like "I like to see you... I'd like it if we could hang out more so we could get to know each other better, but I'm not sure if you feel the same way, or if it's just that you're only interested in sex or if it's that you don't have the time, or what..."
I'm trying to remain positive and think back to how my first relationship started. A casual sex/friendship/seeing each other "thing" with LOTS of tenderness and affection, until about 3-4 weeks later when I realized that if I didn't ask the guy to be my boyfriend, I'd lose him to someone else and it'd be too late... is this a common thing for gay guys? It's like we skip the whole dating process, and cut to the sex, and work with the dating part during the sex/friendship stage.
Also, ever since I found out he's 30, I'm starting to realize that maybe he looks at me - a college boy 22 year old who parties a lot - similarly to how I look at a 17 year old or 18 year old. I find it hard to take them very seriously. I feel like I need to express to him that I'm mature and actually a romantic and can be serious when necessary. His ex was my age, apparently, so I'm worried he might feel jaded towards the practicality of dating younger guys.
So, since I last wrote, we've just texted a bit here and there. He still texts me first usually. He leaves town for a week in a few days and we agreed we should get together before then. But I didn't hear from him tonight and from what I understand, he's leaving very early Thursday morning, so that only really leaves tomorrow night. I'm tempted to text to solidify the plans, as last time I just said "let me know when you're free before you leave" and left it in his court. But, there's two logical things holding me back: I just have this intuitive feeling he likes to chase so I'm not gonna text him. If a guy is a top (and I know this as a top myself), usually when a guy is too available, it's a turn off. So he knows I'd like to see him, I don't need to remind him. Right??
Anyways, this whole situation is starting to frustrate me. I feel like I'm really starting to like him - so much so that, even though I'm still single, I keep putting off dates with other guys. And I like that I like him, but not if I can't confirm with him that there is some potential for something to grow out of this and that we aren't, in fact, just fucking. But I feel like it's probably way too soon to bring that up, but conversely, I don't want to wait weeks and miss the chance for him to know that I like him. I'm thinking that, if in a couple weeks it doesn't seem like we're hanging out more often or like things aren't advancing, I'll just say to him something like "I like to see you... I'd like it if we could hang out more so we could get to know each other better, but I'm not sure if you feel the same way, or if it's just that you're only interested in sex or if it's that you don't have the time, or what..."
I'm trying to remain positive and think back to how my first relationship started. A casual sex/friendship/seeing each other "thing" with LOTS of tenderness and affection, until about 3-4 weeks later when I realized that if I didn't ask the guy to be my boyfriend, I'd lose him to someone else and it'd be too late... is this a common thing for gay guys? It's like we skip the whole dating process, and cut to the sex, and work with the dating part during the sex/friendship stage.
Also, ever since I found out he's 30, I'm starting to realize that maybe he looks at me - a college boy 22 year old who parties a lot - similarly to how I look at a 17 year old or 18 year old. I find it hard to take them very seriously. I feel like I need to express to him that I'm mature and actually a romantic and can be serious when necessary. His ex was my age, apparently, so I'm worried he might feel jaded towards the practicality of dating younger guys.
