Part VIII
Ian and Garrett walked side by side down the hall, both unsure about what to say.  Garrett had questions floating around inside his head but the main thing that kept coming up was how he was attracted to Ian.  The captain was definitely good looking; he was tall (not as tall as Garrett but few people were) and well built.  But the main thing that Garrett liked about Ian was his smile and his laid back nature.  Ian’s smile could stop an argument in a second and the mood in any room would be lightened by his appearance, Garrett understood why Bladen would have him as his captain, it was a good balancing act between the two.
	Ian caught Garrett looking at him and smiled “What?” he asked
	Garrett was caught by surprise “Sorry I was lost in thought.” He replied, it was kind of the truth
	“What were you thinking about?” Ian asked
	“Well just how different you and Bladen are, I mean you seem so laid back and Bladen seems uptight and, well your natures just seem liked they would conflict then work well together.”  Garrett saw Ian’s face change a little and wondered if he had done something wrong.
	“Why do you call him Bladen?”
	“That’s his name, General seems so awkward to me, not to mention way to formal for regular conversation.”
	“Yes well I can understand that but for most people it is a sign of respect to call him General and for me it’s odd to hear someone referring to him by his first name.”
	“I’m sorry I didn’t know, I’ll try to remember that from now on.”
	“Actually don’t I would like to see how the General responds to people referring to him by his first name, I have idea why he likes to be referred to as the General and this might help shed light on the subject.  I mean Bladen is such a strong and masculine name that I would like to hear people call me by it, Garrett is the same way, nice strong sounding name.” Ian said more to himself then anyone
	“What about yours, I mean Ian is a name you can trust, easy to remember and you don’t get a picture in your head of some burley man who you are afraid to meet but someone that you will like to meet.  Plus once they meet you they will definitely attach masculine and strong with it.”
	“What do you mean” Ian said with a curious smile on his face
	“Man when was the last time you looked in a mirror, you are strong and handsome, that is easy to tell from one look.”
	“Please I’m nothing compared to you.”
	“I’m not trying to sound arrogant but most people when compared to me might always come short, I just happen to be unusually big.”
	“I hope that you are not ashamed by it, I would like to be your size, that way I could protect everyone around me and be able to make everyone around me feel safe.”
	“Have to agree with you there but I don’t know how people around me felt.”
	“You might have lost your memory but not your personality, and as far as I can tell you were most likely loved by those close to you and those that met you were more then happy to get to know you.  If I ever saw you mad I would be quite afraid but besides that I’m sure you were gentile and kind to the people around you.”
	“Thanks that means a lot to me.”  Garrett said with a big smile of his own
	“Now come on lets get something to eat, I’m starving.”  Ian said as he started to walk faster.
	Garrett could not argue with the man he was just as hungry and Garrett walked his normal pace to keep up with Ian, he liked the guy even more already, he wondered if he had a family or anyone special to him somewhere.  Garrett would find out soon enough if he got the chance but when he walked into the mess hall he found that was easier said then done.
	The mess hall was just that a hall, a hall filled with seven lines of long tables each with benches along either side.  Men and women were scattered around the room sitting in large and small groups, talking, eating, and drinking their fill.  The room was full or noise and laughter.  Garrett could only imagine what this room would be like full.  At the far end of the room was a much nicer table with chairs that had backs.  Garrett assumed that this was where the lord and his family ate their meals.
	Ian led the way through a back room where there were plates, bowels, and mugs.  You got the food that you wanted and headed out a door on the other side of the hall so that you made a semi circle and there was no back and fourth traffic, it was fast and efficient.  Ian sat down in a group of men he knew well and introduced Garrett to everyone; Garrett shook hands and tried to remember names.  The conversations turned to fighting and Garrett listened intently to their stories of swordsmanship, archery and sparing with all sorts of weapons.  They asked Garrett what type of weapon he was skilled at and Garrett said that he didn’t know but would like to find out.  The men gave him an odd look and Garrett had to tell his story for the third time that day.  The men were amazed at his story and told him to come to the sparing grounds some time and they would find out if he was a fighter or not, most of them believed with good reason that he was.  The men finished up their dinners and left the hall saying goodbye to Ian and Garrett.
	The two of them finished up their meal as well, Garrett had eaten about twice as much as Ian and the men and with good reason he hadn’t had a real meal for over a day, close to two, he had been starving but had been too excited to notice, now he was full and feeling better for it.  Ian took the lead again and led Garrett through more of the castle pointing out different areas and where halls and stairways led.  Garrett took in as much as he could but also knew that he would forget a lot of it by tomorrow.  They saw many people as they walked through the halls and Ian knew each person by name, Garrett wondered if there was anyone Ian didn’t know.
	“Do you know the name of everyone in the castle?” Garrett asked
	“I sure do, I have a thing for names and faces, if I hear it once or see a face once I will never forget it, been a blessing and a curse since I was little, but all the same it’s a great talent and comes in handy all the time.  Ah here we are, you own little piece of heaven.” Ian opened a door that lead into what Garrett would be calling his room for the time being.
	At first glance the room was not much more then a bed, wash basin, and a window, for but Garrett what more would he need.  The place needed a good dusting, there was a think layer covering everything.  Ian looked at the room a little worried, it would not be wise to sleep here with all the dust, thankfully neither of them were sleepy and Ian would get a servant to clean the room while the two of them were out touring the grounds. 	
	Ian led the way back outside the castle to a large court yard, which was more hard dirt then anything else.  Ian explained that there were the training grounds for the small army that the castle had.  Every day the area would be filled with men training with all kinds of weapons.  Garrett was excited about the opportunity to spar sometime out here; it would be fun and a great way to get rid of energy.  
	They headed back into the castle and out of curiosity, and other motives, Garrett asked where Ian lived.
	“Well that’s a tricky subject; you see I kind of have a place in town and in the castle at the same time.  My main house is in town and I usually spend the night there as well as time off and what not.  But I do work late nights here and during more violent times I have a room in the castle that I use often enough.”
	“That’s cool; the Mrs. must not like that very much though.”  Garrett said trying to get the question that had been burning in his mind all night answered.
	“Hahaha! No man, I’m about as single and available as they come.”  Ian said as the two of them came out onto a balcony high up on the castle. 
 The moon came out from behind a cloud and lit Ian’s smiling face, Garrett could not resist the urge and reach out and pulled Ian into an embrace as he leaned down and kissed his lips.  Ian did not pull away but kissed Garrett back and wrapped his arms around him and gave into his passion.
	The two stayed that way for a few amazing moments until Ian pulled away and turned away from Garrett and went to the edge of the balcony.  Garrett came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Ian; not knowing what he was thinking but wanting to know.  Ian leaned back against him enjoying the feel of a warm strong body against his.  Ian leaned his head on Garrett’s big arm, there were so many feeling and thoughts flying through his head and body and he didn’t know which way to go.
	“Garrett this is so more complicated then you can possible know.”  Ian said quietly
	“I may not get it but please explain so I might understand a little bit of what you are thinking.”  Garrett said, he was resting his head on Ian’s.
	“You have to put yourself in my boots, how would you feel if you thought that your commanding officer was more interested in what was under your clothes then how you preformed your duties.  How would you feel if you had to worry about your men thinking that someone got a promotion due to the fact that they slept with their captain then because they were ready for the office.  There are so many reason why I have to keep the fact that I like men a secret and I had resolved to just live alone then have it conflict with my job in such a way.  I have worked under an officer who didn’t keep it a secret and his men turned on him.  I know that it is not unusual for me to feel this way and there are lots of men who are open about it and accepted but I don’t know if I it would be wise for me to be one of them.”
	“Wow this is complicated, I had no idea.  Listen Ian you can’t lie about who you are and I don’t believe that you are but you are lying to yourself and you do deserve to be happy.  It is obvious that there is a hole in your life right now that can only be filled by the love that can only be obtain from loving someone with your whole heart and being.  You said yourself that you have a house inside and outside the castle, why not have a life the same way.  I’m sure there are a ton of men that live with other men who are not in love but are just friends you could be the same way but be in love instead.  Just keep your home life and work life separate, I know you could make it work and I know you want to be able to have what I am talking about.”  Garrett felt a wet tear fall on his arm and became aware that Ian was crying softly.
	“You know” Ian managed “for someone who does not remember anything about their own life you sure do know a lot about life.”
	Garrett just smiled and continued to hold Ian until he calmed down.
	“So what now?” Ian asked
	“We go to our separate houses for now.  I think we both know that I would be unwise to do anything tonight.  There are still things that you need to work out for yourself and plus to tell the truth I’m way to sore to do anything too physical right now, thought it might be a good thing since nobody would notice if a new bruise or two showed up tomorrow.”  Garrett said laughing, Ian joined him
	“You're right, but I’m not allowing you to get away from me without another kiss.”  Ian said as he reached up and grabbed Garrett’s head and pulled his mouth down to meet his.  Garrett reached around Ian and grabbed his ass and lifted him up.  Ian wrapped his legs around Garrett’s body and the two made love under the moon light.