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Gay activists are missing the cultural point

So...what are you saying exactly? "Forget gay marriage - come down here and help us"?

Lex
 
Well, the obvious response it "get out". Obviously easier said than done.

But again, what should the misguided gay activists be doing? You seem to suggest they should stop throwing fashion shows and smelling their own farts and get down in the trenches. Fine, a) what are the odds they will, and b) what does that involve exactly? What sort of power do the gay elite have to effect change in the South?

Lex
 
Ok, I'm not trying to be an asshole... I am one..

So what I got was...

You people are to blame for us all not having equal rights because you won't come out. I won't come out because I'm too scared. I'm too scared because we don't have equal rights. We don't have equal rights because nobody will come out.

I'll come out in a few years. Maybe.



Did i miss anything?
 
Ok you don't run away from them, but you hide from them?

Look, really.. your post, to me anyway, was like you blaming everyone else that you can't come out.

And it just doesn't work like that. I grew up in a rural farm village in Atlantic Canada and I knew I would never be able to be myself there... so I left. You can either stay and be miserable or you can find somehwere else to live until you're ready to go back.

Admonishing the rest of us because you can't be happy is the wrong way to go about things.
 
Do you have any gay friends? If not, you should be networking and making some. If you really fear being attacked if people know you're gay, you should team up to protect each other.

Your choices are to move, or come out and face the haters head on.
 
I live in Asheville NC, so my experience, as a gay Black man, is the opposite of yours. It has to be the most diverse and laid back environment I could've ever chosen to live in here. I can't speak for Winston Salem, although I've heard mixed reviews from people -- especially 2 of my lesbian friends who ran into some hospital visitation issues (not just an issue isolated to the South, but still worth mentioning).
 
>>>I can't leave. I don't consider myself someone who runs away from problems.

I think you're missing the point.

If you're standing out in the pouring rain, would you refuse to seek shelter because "that'd be running away"? Your problem isn't being gay - your problem is you're in a homphobic environment. And so long as you stay in the closet there, not only will no progress be made in making it any better, but you obviously won't be any happier being there. So why not consider coming out of the rain? If you really DO want to effect change, perhaps it'd be a good idea to take a page out of the Art of War. Retreat to safer ground, marshal your strength and some troops, and then head back in.

If you felt you needed to be there to "fight the good fight", then sure - stick around and fight. But if it's as impossible to fight as you say, what's to be gained by staying?

Lex
 
Magnetar said:
Actually the gist of what I was was individual gays like you and me are victims of gay organizations' ineffectiveness in changing culture.

Individuals don't have power, but organized individuals do.
Click to expand...

Don't be silly. I came out to everyone in my life and I've changed many minds. I've always stood up for myself and the gay community, I've always worked with organizations and friends to make my world a better place.

but you can't do it from behind a closet door. So don't call ME a victim. I'm not one.
 
JasunStrikesBack said:
Oh, fucking Woe is You.

If it's that bad then leave.

It was that bad for me and I left. I didn't sit at home whining about how it was so hard for me.
Click to expand...

How old were you when you left home?

The OP is 19. That's pretty young and he may not have the resources to move yet.
 
Magnetar said:
If I leave and do nothing to change my town, then other gays will grow up with the same hostility around them. I like my town actually and I have a steady job, but the truth of my identity is conflicting with my content with living here more as every day goes by.
Click to expand...

You like a town where you have to cower in the closet or people will throw a brick through your window?

OK... well then you've made your decision. Stop blaming me because someone pissed in your shorts.
 
JasunStrikesBack said:
just got in my car and started driving.
Click to expand...
Well that's great that you had the capability to make that kind of thing work. It won't for everyone.

I know people who moved away too young, couldn't get on their feet, and had to come crawling back to mommy and daddy when they had nowhere else to go. That's got to be even worse than waiting until you know you can make it on your own to leave.
 
This is your battle to fight.

You're not going to move, and you won't be able to live with yourself at 40 if you're still in the closet. Your path is clear, as far as I'm concerned.

Come out and do what you can to change things there.
 
hotatlboi said:
Well that's great that you had the capability to make that kind of thing work. It won't for everyone.
Click to expand...

it won't for ANYONE who doesn't try it.

But I guess it's easier to sit at home and blame other people.

Look, I'm just pointing out that you're the master of your own destiny. If you want to live in a place where you can be you.. there's places out there.
 
JasunStrikesBack said:
it won't for ANYONE who doesn't try it.

But I guess it's easier to sit at home and blame other people.
Click to expand...

I didn't sense very much blame in the OP's post, I found it more just a reflection on the state of things and suggestion as to how people might proceed for better results.

If it was his intention to cast blame, then no I don't agree with that, especially if he isn't willing to do anything himself, however I do understand the reality of his situation, and I think to suggest that he just drop everything and move away with no money or job in the middle of a bad recession is a little bit not realistic.
 
hotatlboi said:
I didn't sense very much blame in the OP's post, I found it more just a reflection on the state of things and suggestion as to how people might proceed for better results.
Click to expand...

See, to me it sounded more like him saying "you guys proceed... I'll wait til it's safe while being miserable here in this town where they'll kill me but I like it so much."
 
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