Gay and Older

[mojoe54]

Well, I guess I am older, having just turned 52 last week. I have always been comfortable being gay, and i only get more comfortable with myself as I get older. I have a very good life, good friends and family, and a longterm relationship (29 years) with a partner who I still adore. Why would I want to stop being gay just because I'm getting older? Would you cut off your hand if you had arthritis in your fingers?

 

[Scooter]

I'm 42, my partner is 54 we have been together for 18 yrs ...All is fantastic...What a strange thing to say....

 

[sissyboy]

I'm 44, my spousal equivalent is 42 and we've been happily together for 17 years. What kind of idiot would I be to mess that up?

 

[Homoerectus]

Do you see yourself in a LTR or still part of the bar scene at 50 y/o? Find someone who loves you and whom you can love. There have been several movies and magazine articles over the years which negatively portray lonely, old and bitchy queens growing old by themselves. Life is what you make of it. Have a good time while you are young. Find a great guy and build lots of memories together. Grow old with me. The best is yet to come.

 

[confusedboy23]

I can't really comment because I am still in my early twenties but yes, I have thought about it and I have pictured myself growing old with a guy although I ain't sure if that will still be happening.

At the end of the day, I think as long as the two are committed to each other, there really isn't any reason why a relationship has to be broken off at a certain age. There has to be effort put into any relationship, both hetero and homo, so if both are willing then I reckon they will be just fine.

 

[MWesH]

O K guys, listen up! I just turned 65 in july and would you beleive that I got picked up at a gay bar in Berkeley of all places. Had a great time and my partner did too. I have kept my self in pretty good shape and have kept my mind young and accepting of new stuff and it keeps me feeling young and others think of me as younger then I am. When I was younger I liked older guys and now that I am older I go for younger guys and have no problem getting them though not as often as I would like. Such is life. Enjoy it. Wes

 

[Soilwork]

I'm 37.

But totally looking forward to being older.

 

[irish1]

I turned 50 in March, and my partner will be 53 soon (he hates when I tell his age!!!).

We have a loving, sensual, happy relatioship. I can't see my life without him.

I look younger than my age (most of my colleagues tease me about it, and say that I am "well preserved"); aging is a fact of life that you either embrace, or fight.

Well, I don't fight it. My life is really good, and the parts that aren't so hot are the parts I am working on. The age factor is minor as you get older.

Like everyone else said, find someone to love. It makes all the difference.

 

[BoSoxFanVa]

I'm 46 now and have had two long term relationships. I'm now back in the dating scene and am having a good time. Although, the older I get I seem to like younger and younger guys.

 

[mojoe54]

Best wishes on your journey,Christophe! The important thing is to be happy in your life, and to make it work for you.

 

[Muskox]

I see homosexuality as something easy and more normal for young people but a bit sad for older couple because they ‘miss’ something the rest of society can get… That’s why I said it makes me regret, sometime, the reality I’m gay…

I difficult for me to explain what I feel about that. I don’t say it’s reality. I’m sure gay couple can live an happy life and have enduring relationship. However, at the stage I am, it’s still something I have to accept. I’m sure I’ll do with time. I know lots of our kids worrying looks stupid at 25. I suppose it will be the same for my actual little fears when I’ll be 50 or 60! )

You're young, and young people can't imagine being old. You can't imagine what sex is like for a 50-year old couple. You probably can't imagine your parents even HAVING sex at 50. Don't bother your sweet head about it. You will most likely reach 50. And then 60. Hopefully, you will have a long-term partner then and you'll smack yourself in the forehead and say, "Boy, was I ignorant back then!"

 

[megustamyn]

Don’t be mad at me. It think it’s a stage in the process of accepting homosexuality for myself. I think I still would like to have a life like the majority, you know with kids, going to family parties, etc... So I see homosexuality as something easy and more normal for young people but a bit sad for older couple because they ‘miss’ something the rest of society can get… That’s why I said it makes me regret, sometime, the reality I’m gay…

I felt the same when I was in my 20s but life taught me something different.

I am 57 years old and my partner is 49. Between the two of us, we have 4 children and 7 grandchildren. When he was going to move in, many years ago, we announced it to both our families and it was my daughter’s fiancé (now husband) who borrowed a truck to help us with the move. My husband’s family has an annual family reunion with aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. and their spouses and children and I have always been a part of that. Last month, my mother visited us for 10 days. My husband’s brother and sister-in-law take turns with us at hosting the family for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

We own a house, have a joint checking account and are beneficiaries on each other’s wills. We have many friends with whom we socialize frequently. Most of our friends are gay or lesbian couples, but we also have close friends who are straight.
In short, we lead a “normal lifestyle” and we knew this was what we both wanted when we first met.

As others have said, you make your own life. As we mature, our outlook on many things often changes and, more importantly, we get more control over own lives. BTW, my experience was that I matured I became more attractive to others, probably because of the increased self-assurance and stability.