Gay and Straight people are the luckiest

[toogood4u2have]

This is going to be all over the place, sorry.


So I'm a young guy, not a lot of sexual experience with females and none with guys. I've had about 9 gfs and 1 sort of bf. I've met the woman of my dreams and we are a perfect match, however, my penis doesn't want to cooperate all the time. Sometimes when we have sex I can maintain a full on boner, sometimes semi, once or twice nothing. I know I'm not fully gay because when I fooled around with my ex bf I never could keep a full boner. I don't believe it's impotence because while watching GAY porn I can stay fully hard, but I have to jack off with straight. I want to tell her about my bisexuality, but right now she has so many burdens on her idk if it would be a good idea. No doubt in my mind about telling her but it's killing me to not have told her right now. I want to say it's for her but it's a lot for me, I believe she will accept it but she really doesn't understand bisexuality or homosexuality so it will throw her off and probably make her feel depressed. She's said things like if she ever was left for another man it would crush her (which I would never do). Whenever we talk I try to give her hints or at least make her think what if?

I've never actually had sex with a man, don't know if I will but I know I would like to experience it. I won't hurt her to, because ultimately true genuine love is worth the sacrifice. It's so confusing because one day I only want a woman, the next I want to feel a man. I know sexually I'm more attracted to men because my dick shows me so but when it comes to romance it's all about women. Men have put a bad taste in my mouth and outside of cuddling and sex I really don't want a man.

 

[natsashikata]

I dont think you should tell her if she has alot of burdens cause there is a lot more to lose then gain, by lose I mean like she cant take it and stuff, by gain is she what she can take it and are we going to do a three some like right now is it the right time?

 

[2untru]

You may need to spend more time discovering your sexuality and what you really want. If your mind says one thing but your body says another, then there is a disconnect somewhere that you'll more experience to figure out. I'm not saying go out and sleep with guys because sex is just a quick and temporary fix that probably won't answer your questions. Being open about being bi-curious may give you the liberation to be more yourself and out there.

The comment your gf made about you leaving her for a man sounds like she suspects something. Dropping hits isn't good enough, if you want her to know then flat out tell her without beading around the bush. If she's having a rough time then I can see it being hard for her, but there is really never a good time to tell someone you may be interested in meeting other people.

I say start with worrying about yourself and then worry about the people around you, otherwise you will not move forward and everyone will be miserable. Keeping secrets suck and repressing feelings/urges are even worst. In my experience it only leads to someone becoming a horny old man with a wife and kids sneaking out to have anonymous sex...don't be another statistic.
(no offense to the married men out there, but yea)

 

[toogood4u2have]

I say start with worrying about yourself and then worry about the people around you, otherwise you will not move forward and everyone will be miserable. Keeping secrets suck and repressing feelings/urges are even worst. In my experience it only leads to someone becoming a horny old man with a wife and kids sneaking out to have anonymous sex...don't be another statistic.
(no offense to the married men out there, but yea)

^ This is what I'm worried about. I don't want to think I will feel trapped in the future but I know it is a possibility. I can't abandon her though because I really care about her. Also, she has anxiety attacks and I can't take knowing I gave them to her. I really love this girl and want to be open with her.

Initially she would say things like "I want to use a dildo on you while giving you head" or "I want to let another man give you head" but when I ask for a threesome with other women she says she doesn't want to do ANYTHING like that, yet. My problem is yet can lead to a very distant time in the future when my youth is gone and I'm left to regret. When I go down on her and finger her ass she loves it and offers to return the favor, however, she goes to the bathroom comes back and asks what I want her to do. I've been too embarrassed to ask her to in the past but now I do. I initially became excited about her making offers I've mentioned because it meant we'd be more open sexually but we've slowed down, tremendously. She says it's too early for sexual acts like that but I've already made huge sacrifices for her financially and career wise. I even moved in with her (temporarily) to help her get on her feet faster, which I told her at first would take me 2 years. I just feel a little slighted. Am I being fair?

I'm going to talk with her about it again tonight or tomorrow because it's really heavy on my mind.

 

[Benvolio]

Many young guys are able to perform with women or men, but as they get older, they realize that they are one or the other. But by then they may have a wife and family, but wanting freedom. I think you should look for an opportunity to be with a man for at least oral sex. That should help you know whether you are gay or straight. If you are gay you should begin hinting to your girl friend before actually telling her.

 

[HunterM]

Agreed with the poster that stated you need more time to discover your sexuality to know what you really want. Break up with your girlfriend. Give yourself time to have sex with a man to see how you would feel. The first time could be unsettling for some because it's something still taboo in their own heads. If you don't like sex with men, then go back to dating women. No big deal. You owe it to yourself to know yourself...to plan for your future.

 

[toogood4u2have]

So since it was my bday we went to the the toy store and got whatever i wanted to use on her... she ended up fucking me with the toy, i told her i wanted / a man something thicker.. she said it was weird but she loved me. I'm still drun and confused but tomorro I'm going to bring it up again sober.


Found out I'm loud and vocal, I couldn't get hard but she didn't care. I'm going to see if I can bring a third into the wheel. Thanks for the advice guys but I think my method will work.

 

[toogood4u2have]

UPDATE**********

Before I had told her I wanted a man for sex but we were both drunk and I don't think she remembered. I just came out to her last night and she was really understanding and supportive. She told me she didn't think of me any differently just that I should have trusted her enough to tell her sooner. I trust that we always be together but since she's the first person I've ever spoken to about being bisexua so I feel a little nervous but WAY MORE liberated. She has agreed to do 3somes in the future as well so everything is looking good for us. The sex is getting better because I've been staying hard here recently and after last night I think it's safe to say it will only get better. I know I want to be with her for the rest of my life because aside from her being willing to accept all of me, we really are the same person. Thanks everyone for your input.

 

[syoBsUtsuJ]

I didn't have my first gay experience until I was 15 (a month before turning 16), just hand jobs, but still -- I didn't even so much as think of myself as being even remotely bi-curious before then. I came out as being bi when I was 17 to the world. Back then, it didn't matter whom I was with the grass always seemed greener on the other side of the fence; when I was with a girl, every guy looked so hot and vice-versa. I finally came out as being gay when I was 22, even though I am still aroused by some hot girls. Invariably, it'll take me fantasizing about her hot brother, cousin, or neighbor to maintain my woody, so why bother? Guys just do it for me each and every time without fail or effort.

I have an ex-fiance whom knew that I was bisexual. I still love her madly to this day, but just not in a sexual way. Heck, I'd get hard for her in a nano-second, but long term would have me fantasizing about her brother again, lol. If maintaining an erection is a problem with you, I'd fervently urge you to honestly reevaluate your relationship with her. I'm seriously trying to be objective here, as we do not see the world as it is - we see it as we are. Maybe you might have a chemical imbalance and/or just lacking in testosterone, or more probably you're higher on the gay-side of your bisexuality and just in denial.

The majority of us didn't embrace our homosexuality upon realization. Heck, who wants to be different and part of a minority that has so much stigma about it still? Invariably, our penises won out and decided for us; sexual desire should never have to be an effort. I am earnestly esteeming to refrain from being presumptuous, but your story between the lines is far from being " = " and more like:
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I just want you to be happy. Good luck, Mr. Toogood4u2have. It has just been my experience and observation bringing in a 3rd party to spice up a monogamous couple's sex life is more like endeavoring to salvage it. Even in trigamies, invariably one person will begin to feel like the 5th wheel as the other two begin to spend more and more time together. Deep down you don't want her to feel like that; I don't want you feel like that.