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Gay apps and my bf

There's another problem I've been finding hard to deal with and I have no idea how to bring it up, especially after we had a good talk about all this Grindr issues.

When we had the talk, I asked about other apps and Craigslist. He said he doesnt go on Craigslist at first but he said he used to and I knew this beforehand. What bothers me now is when he went away for 2 days in another city, (few weeks ago) I asked him if he had gone on Craigslist too which he said no, but it was in his history browser. Also during our 'chat', he said he doesn't go on Craigslist anymore but every morning it's in his history. I'm really confused, and I know he's getting frustrated as I am to, as all we seem to talk about is trust and my anxiety issues with bringing all this same Grindr stuff, but how do I bring this up now? He doesn't hide his iPad and we both use it so what do I do?? I can't say I saw Craigslist in your history, he's gonna think I'm snooping around. (At first the history tab was open awhile back and that's how I found out)
 
Something I learned a long time ago, never ask when you already know the answer. No one is likely to admit shit if they don't think they have to. You're not his parent so don't ask him if he's been on Craigslist. If you want to bring it up you need to tell him you know. And the effect will be that he'll learn to clear his history.

If things continue like this you're going to mak yourself crazy. This seems as though it's an addict/co-dependent situation. Unless you're both willing to come clean with each other and get some help, I suggest you break up. The situation needs an intervention. It won't improve with promises, spying and lies (and, yes, you are both lying).

If you do end it, seek co-dependent treatment for yourself, otherwise you're likely to keep falling for addicts.
 
Ok, once and for all, should I just simply tell him we need to talk and to just be open and clean with me. Would that be the best approach? More of a 'get it all out in the Open' chat cause I'm so anxious. I need to settle this, even though he will hate another chat. Should I or waste of time?
 
I would recommend couples therapy. It sounds like you're not totally comfortable with the status quo.
 
You've told him how you feel and he can't or won't understand it. He just says he is offended you don't trust him. If you sex life was good before and is now non-existant since this online stuff, then he is either having sex with others or solo masturbation has replaced your love life. If you take a temporary break, he most likely will move forward with what he does. He sounds addicted to what he is doing.

I think you can do better. Time to be honest with yourself about this relationship.
 
He's deleted all his apps now, and did admit he was obsessed on Grindr. It's given me some relief, but I still think about if he still goes on Craigslist and deletes the history and installs Grindr elsewhere and deletes it again after.
I can't stop to think about this and all of this has really played on my mind as you can see. I don't know what to believe or think anymore. Messed me up big time. Even if he's truly gone off everything, I still have doubts.
 
mrdude said:
He's deleted all his apps now, and did admit he was obsessed on Grindr. It's given me some relief, but I still think about if he still goes on Craigslist and deletes the history and installs Grindr elsewhere and deletes it again after.
I can't stop to think about this and all of this has really played on my mind as you can see. I don't know what to believe or think anymore. Messed me up big time. Even if he's truly gone off everything, I still have doubts.
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You will never get the guarantee you want....from anyone.....ever...

So the only course of action would be the one you can take for yourself and that would be to evolve how you think about the matter....and this is good news IMO because trying to control someone else is just not possible...and if you try...you will force them into hiding or lying....
 
That's why this is about you and not him. You have co-dependent traits and he has addictive traits and this leads to a dysfunctional relationship. Your first responsibility is to yourself. Finding a co-dependent self-help recovery book and/or attending a Co-dependent Anonymous meeting would be good starts. In the end, you'll drive yourself crazy if you continue to worry, distrust and monitor. In the end, what did you gain my having him delete the apps?
 
mrdude said:
He's deleted all his apps now, and did admit he was obsessed on Grindr. It's given me some relief, but I still think about if he still goes on Craigslist and deletes the history and installs Grindr elsewhere and deletes it again after.
I can't stop to think about this and all of this has really played on my mind as you can see. I don't know what to believe or think anymore. Messed me up big time. Even if he's truly gone off everything, I still have doubts.
Click to expand...

Have him intentionally get banned by violating terms of service.
 
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