Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties

[Ram]

this is the thing that irritates me about the bachelorette parties ruling the roost. i went to the club a few weeks back and you could see all the straight guys lining the perimeter of the dance floor watching everyone else. it actually feels like there are more straights, guys and gals, there than gay folk. i don't think it hurts the club any, they're always busy but you just don't see all that many gays there anymore. where the hell did all the gays go? they went to other clubs where the ratio of gays to straights is in their favor.

In my camp, we had an online forum. There was this poster who created a thread about his experiences in a gay club. He and his mates were at a local gay club to pick up some girls (because they thought they were bisexuals..or something. I can't remember). So yeah he got there and went to the loo. In there, while peeing, a gay guy approached him and asked if he would like to dance and hook up. Instead of understanding the logic of him being in a gay club thus things like this would happen, he pushed the guy away and threatened to beat him up. They got the girls and he bragged about the entire thing in that thread.

The other posters asked for the club location because they wanted girls too. 2 months later, the club took down the gay word down from the sign because some people were not comfortable with it.

Let's just ban straight guys. I see 60% reduction in gay customers after that .

 

[Ram]

im confused here. Yes i know not all female outings are hen nights.
No, most of my female freinds are single or have bf's.
If i want to have fun with them i go wherever the group decides to go, i dont have to go to gay places to have a good time. But they still come out to Canal st with me and have a good time.

I'm confused here too. You said that you can't understand why someone would be happy with more females but still be against hen nights. So I said that the "someone" understands that not all female gatherings are hen nights.

if that happens i can understand your issue. But it has never happened to me and ive never seen it happen. The gay guys though do it all the time

Gay guys too, yup. Thank God, I'm considered ugly in the gay world. I'm sure it's not just in the gay world too...

 

[Ram]

right i get you now i think. You're not against groups of females on a night out going to a gay bar but you dont want hen partys there?

see i dont see the difference cos everyone still ends up pissed.

I'm ok with hen parties. Just don't push it and start treating all of us like we are in the circus or something. Having clubs with different rules are great. If I don't particularly feel like enjoying my night with drunk girls, like tonight, I will hop over to the other one with the ban. Diversity with democracy is the best thing ever.

I don't. I don't know how to drink. I'm the only one that remembers everything. None of my gay friends recall the hen parties held in the clubs they partied in. Even the straight girls. Judging from my posts in this thread, I must learn how to drink. And get laid.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

My idea of inclusion, integration, acceptance, whatchamacallit, is NOT a gay bar where ten or twenty per cent of the public are "tourists" on a daytrip to the zoo.

Well and that's it. When those groups of women come into gay bars, they're not thinking "Let's support our gay brothers." They're using our spaces for their own site-seeing tour.

Gay Bars exist because gay men aren't traditionally welcome in a lot of places.. it's our refuge where we can meet other men like ourselves.. not where we can go and suddenly morph into the Queer Guys to give you all makeup tips and give your someone to dance with who won't feel you up. We're not your personal support staff.

would you feel the same if groups of gay men where barred from a 'straight' bar.

OK, except there's no such thing as a "straight bar." Straight people didn't have to create their own spaces as a refuge.

There are a lot anti-straight posts by various posters in this thread and yet Jasun got picked out.

Yeah, that always happens. Please, in that recent bisexual cluster-fuck thread, I wasn't the only one saying I won't date bi guys but it turned into the "Pile on Jasun" thread. I'm not complaining at all. I'm kinda flattered that my opinion are so important that they trump the existence of other people.. I mean... I didn't even start this thread and it's already about me.

I think it'd be the same sort of resentment if a bunch of straight guys held a bachelor party at a lesbian bar.

Probably the best example made so far.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

In the end, my idea of "acceptance" isn't being treated like a tourist attraction. The women who come into gay bars who have bachelorette parties aren't there to show their acceptance.

They're there to use us.

We're their accessories.

We're there for them to have someone to dance with that the future husband is Ok with them dancing with. We're there for them to paw at because we won't paw back. Tomorrow they'll all be joking with their "straight and respectable" friends at the wedding about all the funny queers they saw and how "nice" they were.

It's going to be that "Funny/risque/shocking" thing they joke about doing for years.

You feel "accepted" now?

 

[GL]

^ i think you're missing the point. i don't have an issue with women going to gay bars. i used to go out every other week with my lesbian gal pal just to dance. the issue here, as i see it, is the proliferation of these bachelorette parties taking over the club. it changes the vibe and the atmosphere. but it doesn't matter much of the proprietor(s) are catering to them. the only options you have are to roll with it or find a new place to hang.

 

[wastingmymind]

If the atmosphere changes so much, just take a flask with you to the bathhouse. It's practically the same thing.
But seriously, and this isn't true of all cases, but many gay bars start as "straight" bars. They complained at first but eventually they let 'em go. It's a big world we can congregate somewhere else.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

It comes off by how and what you write pretty clear that you think straight people and gay people should be segregated anyway.

don't be silly.. my best friend is a straight guy. And I spend a good deal of time in "straight" bars.

But he would never decide to throw a bachelor party at a lesbian bar. He also knows that when he goes to a gay bar that he's going to have men approach him and he's very careful not to make a big stink about being straight.

But that's not what we're talking about.

We're talking about women going into places they generally don't go to throw bachelorette parties. Using us as props and furniture.

I'm kinda surprised, however, that you're doing that Alpha thing where when you can't argue with me on point, you change the subject and tell me I hate all women or that I think everyone should be segregated. I kinda thought you were above that.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

But i still think its wrong to ban a group of people from a place,

Which isn't really what they're doing.

the sign doesn't say "no women." It says "no bachelorette parties."

Isn't not a group of people who are banned.. just the activity.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

i'm glad you got were i was going with that, my little attempt at satire. I think it failed not very good at that, anyhow...

Meh.. I fail at satire all the time.

Last week some twit made some comment storming out of a thread saying "I'm leaving this dog and pony show."

5 minutes later she came back and I made some joke about how "I thought you were going to play with your pony... oh... did you mean masturbating?"

She thought I didn't know what a "dog and pony show" was and kept going on and on about it (again... trying to change the subject instead of staying on point...)

to be fair, she was kinda stupid.

OK change "was" to "is."

And ditch the "kinda."

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

Nobody will read anything I say, but I thought I'd say it anyway.

why should we?

you hate ALL men and think they're ALL rapists.



I swear, you're such a beotch.

 

[wastingmymind]

Banning bachelorette parties in gay bras is like banning receptions of gay marriages in some banquet halls.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

Banning bachelorette parties in gay bras is like banning receptions of gay marriages in some banquet halls.

If you're gay and need a bra, you're called a "Lesbian."

Or.. really fat. And then you're not welcome in gay bars either.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I hate all GAY men. And they are ALL rapists. Liquoring and drugging up their straight friends to get laid.

Hey, a boy's gotta have SOME fun.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

There is a reason why the gay community has gay bars. They have been pretty much segregated out of most other bars across the board. So stop being a whiny princess and have your party somewhere else.

Oh and by the way - if you want a party with strippers and you're that much of a queen bitch - hire a stripper or two and have the party at a private place.

/rant

Erg.

I must have said that a million times.

gay bars didn't just drop out of the sky. They're there because gay people have been told and given the message that they're not welcome in other places.

It's so fucked up that gay people are chased into their own spaces and then when straight people find a use for the space, they just move in and take over.

If the gay people get pissed that yet again they're being squeezed out, they're told to "find somewhere else." Fuck that shit, YOU find somewhere else for your bachelorette party. It's not our fault that there aren't enough "straight" strip bars.

 

[wastingmymind]

If you're gay and need a bra, you're called a "Lesbian."

Or.. really fat. And then you're not welcome in gay bars either.

Whereas Lady Gaga has a free pass. Discrimination!

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

People keep harping on with the "how would you feel if ..." argument.

But there isn't one.

1) there is no right that gay people have that straight people don't. We do not celebrate having this non-existant right in the faces of straight people.

2) if you go into any space and annoy the regular patrons by reappropriating it to your own use, you will be asked to leave.

There is no discrimination here. Just whiney people who always get their way and the hag fags that enable them.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I wonder how gays would like it if gay marriage became legal (as it should be) and then churches and banquets were allowed to say, "Sorry. Your celebration is only going to make our straight patrons uncomfortable. You're not allowed. Find your own gay-space to get married in."

um... Churches already have the right to refuse to marry anyone they don't want to marry. You can't just go to a catholic church and have them marry you now. Even if you're straight.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I agree. But is merely having a bachelorette party "annoying the regular patrons?" And if so, what's to stop churches and banquets from saying, ""Your gay wedding or your gay wedding banquet is annoying our regular patrons -- straight people -- and re-appropriating this space to your own use. Therefore, you're not allowed to have a gay wedding or a gay wedding banquet here?"

Well, except we wouldn't be going in while the straight people were there. If they want to rent out the space for the bachelorette parties... Let them. But they're coming in not to use the space but to use the people. And not paying for it.

Sorry, but you're wrong. This isn't the same as renting a banquet hall.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

Jasun I'm sorry, perhaps I'm not making my point clear. Let me clarify: I know that already exists, but my point is, it shouldn't be that way, no? I think it's horrible that churches can refuse certain marriages and WHEN gay marriage becomes a federally recognized right, I don't think churches should have the right to exclude gay couples from being married there.

If marriage is a federally recognized institution, no other institution -- like a church, or a mosque, or a synagogue, or a temple -- should be allowed to say who they will perform it for and who they won't. Either your institution should maintain the right to perform ALL marriages, or perform none of them.

I absolutley don't agree. No church should be forced to perform a union that isn't in their beliefs. City hall has to marry anyone. A church should not.