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Gay-Bi Relationship

K

kevin23

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Rule # 1 : Don't think you can change someone or that they will later change to what you want them to be.

If it were not for this rule we could change all of the straight cute hotties, and all gays could change to straight because life would be simpler.

Sorry, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't expect him to change.
 
I don't think him being bi needs to be of such a huge concern to you. I dated a woman and was engaged for a fair chunk of it for 6 years. During this time I was perfectly content and monogamous (we split due to totally different factors and remain house-mates).

I'm now looking solely for a guy (again has nothing to do with her except I go seem to go M,F,M,F). The point I'm trying to make is that just because he's bisexual doesn't mean he's interested in cheating on you. If he's truly committed to you he has as much to fear of you and other men, than you have of he and other men/women!

Having said that though it seems as if there is much more to be worried about than him just being bi-sexual. I'm thinking he might have cold feet if he's vocalising that he feels as if he's going to be giving up half his sexual identity (or he could just not be ready for a committed relationship). The anal thing also sounds like it could turn into a sticking point (well I guess the problem is it won't >_>) but that's something that you guys can work through, although in my experience getting a partner to do something sexually they aren't that interested in can be hard work if not nigh on impossible.

So whilst I don't necessarily think him being bi needs to be stressed over in itself I'm thinking that his behaviour as well as what he's said in way of defense could be a sign of trouble on the horizon. When you add in potential sexual incompatability it might be time to give it some serious thought/discussion.
 
Could it be he doesnt want to do anal at this point cause he considers himself bi??
 
There are no guarantees in life. At this point in time, though, he has chosen you and you have chosen him. There is something that attracts you to each other. Nourish that and let your relationship build. Try not to get hung up on a wandering eye. If he were totally gay, his eyes could wander toward men too. It isn't his proclaimed "bi-ness" so much as his overall trustworthiness. Accent your strengths as a couple and your relationship.

As far as a peck on the cheek is concerned, that usually means nothing other than a show of affection. I peck women on the cheek frequently, and some gay men too. It's just a friendly form of greeting with some people. It hardly means I want to get in their pants.
 
There's no way I could do it.

I can compete with other men (and usually win.. we may as well be blunt) but I can't compete with women.
 
I have said this before....

A capacity to cheat does not equal Bi.

Most people think of Bi as being attracted to both sexes.... Try looking at it as Not turned off by either sex. It can change your perspective. Me I find I'm attracted to the person regardless of their sex!

Cheaters come in all sexualities, just look at the number of broken up str8 and gay relationships over cheating.

That being said, it does sound a bit like your bf might still be in the "I'm not sure what I am" phase. However, it sounds like he is really into you, and he cares enough to talk to you openly, that is a huge plus! Most relationships breakdown because of lack of communication. So far he has showed his loyalty, if nothing else, by coming to you right after to talk about it.

I think as long as you keep you mind open and talking to him about things, you should be fine.

Joshua
 
not that it really matters, but just out of curiosity how old are you both?

I find it odd that he's not interested in anal sex, but then again, it isn't for everyone. I've been in a relationship with a bisexual man but I wasn't too serious about it so I don't know how much input I can put into the situation.
 
Well if he were gay you can see it as he might leave your for another guy. If someone is gonna cheat, they will gay, bi or staight.

But I do understand your feelings. I'm bi, but if I were in a realtionship wih a woman, than I live as a straight couple. If I get into a relationship with a guy I live as a gay couple.

That doesn't mean I won't think of the other sex. But regardless of sexual orientation you would still sometimes think of another man/woman. It's normal.

I wouldn't worry about him cheating or leaving. Reagrdless of gay, bi or statight a cheater is a cheater.
 
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