At my U it seems like there's a very strong "straight" vibe I get like you wouldn't even want to think about being gay in the engineering department. And I really haven't seen any gay engineers here.
*raises hand*
Queer here, dear. And an engineer too. In "The Hate State" of Colorado, USA, no less.
Everyplace I've ever worked has had other gay engineers, so I've hardly been the only one. Yeah, it's a male and straight dominated field, so there's always a "boys club" atmosphere, but people in the field are intelligent, well educated, well traveled, and open-minded, so aren't really freaked out by gay guys around them.
Is it possible you're confusing the good-natured ribbing that guys give each other with actual homophobia? In my 20+ years in the field, I've found some of the most gay-supportive engineers I've ever known have also been the hugest teases ... they'll do whatever they can to embarrass each other (or you), and ribbing each other with gay jokes is definitely fair game, but it's because they like you, not because they really hate gays.
There is a variation in the climate between different fields of engineering, though. The older fields (civil, mechanical, etc), which don't change much technically, have older guys with more traditional attitudes and who are less open to change, while the newer fields (electrical, software, chemical) have younger guys who tend to embrace change (of all types) more.
It also varies depending on which city or region you're in. At my company, at the sites in the Bay Area, there are offices with huge rainbow flags and Pride symbols, whereas here in Colorado things are more low-key.
Yeah, it can feel a little isolating sometimes, but I wouldn't trade my profession for anything.
